Your First Phone Call To Her

>NOTE: If you're REALLY interested in learning howto meet women and get numbers, emails, and DATESquickly... then go take a look at THIS:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/ApproachingWomen
***QUESTION***
ok here is the deal...
I'm 23, 5'7" and a relatively good looking andsuccessful fashion designer. i don't date to much,and because of my usually respectful mannerism idon't get laid too often and usually end up inthat "gay friend" category.
but I've kinda got my eye on a cutie who works ata trendy clothing store in my hood. it initiallywas one of those things where we shared a glaceand did the whole "eye ball sex" thing the firsttime i came into the shop. i frequent this storeregularly to help promote and do some p.r. for aclub night my friends are doing, (not to mentioncheck out the... uh... merchandise?) so i haveactually spoke to her and got her name and evenconvinced her to come out to the club a few times(on my guest list of course).
the thing is I'm not very comfortable about"macking" girls in clubs and try to avoid it atall costs, so my question is how do i go fromcheezy promoter guy dropping off flyers and freepasses, to say... getting her to come watch"videos" at my place or even just a phone # forthat matter?
giving me a way to find out if she is single wouldbe cool too..."
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I've included your letter for a couple ofreasons. First, because I want other guys to seethat just because you're a young, successful guythat works in two fields which should naturallylead you to be a BABE MAGNET, it always takes morethan just a situation... it takes skills andknowledge as well.
And secondly, I want to answer your questionbecause I believe that there are many guys outthere who come into contact with lots of women andwould like to know how to capitalize on their goodfortune.
Here's what to do:
The easiest thing in the world to do in yourcurrent situation is to say, "Hey, do you haveemail?"
Most people do and if she says yes, just pullout a piece of paper and have her write it down.And, WHILE SHE'S WRITING say, "And write yournumber down there too." This is one of my favoriteone-two combinations.
Then, the next day, send her an email and tellher that she should get together with you for acup of tea and some stimulating conversation. Thisis both easy and charming, and it works like,well... a charm.
And for heaven's sake man, start getting theemail and digits from the - probably - MILLIONS OFBABES that you meet in the fashion industry andwhile promoting clubs. Heck, if you don't wantthem, send them to me.
***SUCCESS STORY***
I'm sure you'll find this interesting Dave.There's a girl I liked a while back. Her and Idated for a few weeks, and then she startedbacking out. Less communication, avoiding the"alone time" etc. Well, that confused the hell outof me because I didn't see it coming, nor did Iknow what was going on in her head. I did getfrustrated, but I dealt with it, and moved on. Butbefore I moved on, I told her very friendly, "Iknow you don't want to continue dating, but youknow that we're still friends... " So we had anice talk and stuck to friendship. Still wonderingwhy it broke off between us, I came across yourbook. After I read it, I became "enlightened" asto what happened. Let's just say I read about the"needy" guy, and cringed. I came on too strong toher. It's like putting on a lot of cologne... nomatter how good the smell is, too much stinks.Well, after being "enlightened," I decided to trya few of your concepts on her. I will honestlytell you that she's all over me now. (all over).Anyways, I'm known for never finishing books, butyours I've read about 3 times now. Waiting for anew publication..."
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah, yes. Isn't it wonderful when you realizehow the psychology works?
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave!
I enjoy reading your writing.
I dated a lot and fooled around quite a few, but Ihave fallen for this girl, and I made a mistake bytelling her, not once but twice, how much I feelfor and want her before she revealed her feelingtoward me. Consequently she told me later on thatshe would like to do casual dating with me. Andrecently I found out that she is seeing two orthree other guys simultaneously. GUYS OUT THERE,REMEMBER THIS. NEVER REPEAT MY MISTAKE!!!!
Having recognized my error and conceded defeat, Iwant to cut my loss by telling her this weekend ina face to face meeting that I don't want to seeher any longer. But I can't forget her and keepwondering if I should make one more effort to winher back. I guess I am a regular human being,suffering from loss of her love.
Should I change my mind, what techniques can I useto win her back?
Or I should simply walk away from her and forgeteverything about her?
Your advice would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
B.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I'm glad that you've realized yourmistake...
Too often, we men find a particularlyinteresting woman and then come to the logicalconclusion that we should probably share how we'refeeling about her... with her.
Unfortunately, while we think we're saying, "Ireally like you and think you're a special girl",what she's actually hearing is, "I am a wuss, Ifeel like you're too good for me, I'll do whateveryou want, I'm no longer a challenge, and you canpredict how I'm going to act from now until youdecide that you're tired of me..."
I know, sounds harsh. But, this is too oftenthe reality of the situation.
As far as your situation goes, I would get onwith my life, don't call her anymore and if shedecides to call you sometime, turn the tablesaround, start playing hard to get and NEVER ACTLIKE A WUSS AGAIN PLEASE.
It's a hard job I have, poking fun at the painof others... all for their own good.
***INTERESTING EMAIL FROM A WOMAN***
This is a success story. Your success, not mine.And I need your help. I really doubt that anybodyelse can help me. This is the story. I am a woman.I am absolutely agreed with every word you sayabout dating, phone number and email, cocky/funnyattitude, phone calls, and kiss. Everything yousay is right. Beside this talent you have veryunique quality: you can see the persons problemfrom few sentences. Now I need you to tell me whatis my problem. I am immigrant from Russia livingin Canada. I am at my latest 20 and I'm quiteattractive and I want to have a boyfriend. I amnot the person who settles for less. . I have noproblem to get a date. I have a problem to get thesecond one with the guy I like. I know all mindgames including "I'm so Hard To Get and Busy" and"Oh I'm so helpless". To meet a guy is not aproblem, but, very few of my dates are cocky &funny guys. And that is what I like. Now tell me:what do you cocky-funny guys look for? What makesyou call back second, third and twenty-third time.I am not asking for an answer like: wash yourhair, offer to split the bill and be adventurous,I know all this from Cosmo. There is somethingbigger then this, something that North Americangirls learn at their very yang age and it is sosimple so nobody talks about it. Tell me what isit that attracts cocky-funny guys. I really needto know. Thanks.
L.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I'm glad you wrote in because you bring up apoint that most men never realize, namely, thatit's not easy for most women to find the kind ofman that they feel ATTRACTED to!
Yes, there are a lot of good looking men inthis world, but women are looking for a lot morethan just looks.
Women are looking for that magical combinationof confidence, humor, an understanding of howwomen work, class, etc.
One of the great benefits of mastering theideas that I teach is that you can fill a needthat is very real in the world: The need for real,attractive men.
As for your particular situation, my only ideais to stop by my place sometime for a personalconsultation. I specialize in beautiful, youngRussian women who are looking for cocky & funnyguys. There is no charge for your initialconsultation...
***QUESTION***
Dave "THE MAN",
I just want to first thank you or rathercompliment you, just like everyone else has done,on your successful book which has helped metremendously. It has led me to become VERY VERYconfident in myself and around other girls. Onceagain, thank you Dave. Anyway, on to my questionthat literally drives me crazy!!! This girl thatI'm interested in has email but NEVER checks itbecause, according to what she says her computerdoesn't work. Go figure. But she did give me hercell phone number and house phone number. Theproblem is that every time I call her we talk forabout 10-15 min. and she says that she'll call meback later but NEVER does. i mean NEVER!! is thisbecause she is playing hard to get or does it meanthat i am just wasting my time and she is notinterested and should i just give up on hercompletely? how can i become the one who's incontrol and have HER chasing ME instead of MEchasing HER??? How could i get her to startcalling me? If you can answer this question thenit will be one less thing for me to worry aboutwhen dealing with women and I will definitelyconsider you "THE MAN". Thanks
-R.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Where in my eBook or newsletters have you EVERheard me say to talk on the phone for 10-15minutes? Exactly, nowhere. Why do you think thisis?
Because the more time you spend TALKING at thevery beginning (when getting her email and number,while on the phone setting up the next meeting,etc.) the more likely you are to screw it up.
Don't waste time!
Getting her email and digits should take 3-5minutes or so. Setting up a place to get togethershould take about the same.
Here, I'll do another of my wonderfultranslations for you:
You call up and say, "Hi, it's Irwin from lastnight calling... how are you? What are you doing?Oh, doing your hair, really? Cool. So, that wassome band last night, huh? Pretty crowded bar,huh? Oh, sure... you need to go? Well, will youcall me back later? OK, great, talk to you then."
What she hears: "Hi, I'm lame and uncreativeand I am interested in you, but I'm nervous anddon't know how to ask you out so, I think I'lljust talk about some lame, boring, mundanethings... and hope that maybe you'll have pity onme and offer to meet me sometime."
Are you with me?
You need to call up and say, "Hey, I don't havelong to talk, but I wanted to touch base and say"Hi". I'm going to be busy today and tomorrownight, but let's get together Saturday for a cupof tea and some stimulating conversation..."
Bang, done.
If you really want to use the advanced tactics,read my book and learn about how to use the"friendship frame" to disarm her at the end of theconversation.
Now, no more calling up these poor cute women,boring them for 15 minutes until they say, "Hey, Ihave to go, but I'll call you back later..."
***QUESTION***
Hi David,
I've been reading your emails for quite some timeand recently just bought your e-books. I commendyou on what you are doing for the many hundredsand possibly thousands of men like me who aretrying to increase our game. I just started a newjob at a hotel on campus. There's this one girlwho find very attractive. My question is is it okto date or ask out someone you work with? I'veonly worked with her once, but I felt anattraction to her and although I'm not sure ifshe's attracted, there may be the possibility ofit, which means there is something for me to workwith. What are your thoughts? Thanks S.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Don't date your close neighbors, don't dateanyone related to a close friend, and DON'T DIPYOUR PEN IN THE COMPANY INK. All of these are VERYlikely to wind up being bad, long-terminvestments.
Better idea: Tease and use all of your bestcocky & funny ideas on this girl... great targetpractice. At some point, one of you will probablyno longer work for the same company and at thatpoint she will like you so much that you will havefish in a barrel for the shooting.
***QUESTION***
Hi David,
...I found...NLP related seduction stuff about ayear ago and spent some money on seduction coursesrelated to NLP, however I must say I haven't hadastonishing results with it.
When I ordered your book I was still studying someNLP based seduction course so I did not read thebook until recently and how mistaken I was! Afterreading the book I realized I should have read ita long time ago because I noticed drasticimprovements in the way I communicate and attractwomen now, far more drastic than all the time I'vespent studying NLP related seduction material...Which leads to my questions to you.
I read...that you had done a lot of NLP trainingyourself. I'm 32 yrs old now and at the pointwhere I need to focus on one route that leads tomy goal of becoming PUA. I know some people wouldsay take bits of this, and bits of that and findout what works for you, however I want yourpersonal opinion on this one. Do you use any NLPat all when attempting to create attraction in awoman, is NLP necessary in seduction? What aboutthings like eliciting values and anchoring them toyou, is this required in creating attraction awoman? What would you tell a newbie who had tochoice of learning NLP in terms of getting goodwith seducing women, would you tell them to botherwith it?
I'm now thinking of completely focusing my energyon perfecting the 'Cocky and Funny' approach andnot wasting anymore time on things that are notnecessary for me to become good in this game. Ineed your advice on this one... Thanks for thegood work, I'm looking forward to you writingupdate books to this whole game.
G.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
For those of you that don't know, "NLP" standsfor "Neuro Linguistic Programming". And, there's alot of buzz about how this can help you in allareas of life. From psychological issues - toearning money - to meeting more women.
Yes, I have spent a lot of time learning aboutNLP, and I've tried a lot of NLP ideas when itcomes to meeting women.
The simplest answer I can give you is this:
The best use of NLP is to find guys who arevery successful with women and then use it toLEARN WHAT THOSE GUYS DO NATURALLY. The mistake Ithink that a lot of people make is taking theparts of NLP that relate to therapy, influence,and persuasion, and trying to apply those modelsto women and dating.
Believe me, I've tried this stuff EXTENSIVELY,and I've come to the conclusion that there is aMUCH better way.
My success took off when I started watchingwhat the really successful guys did when they werewith women, then refining the ideas and lookingfor the common elements.
For instance, the "cocky & funny" idea comesdirectly from a good friend of mine who is verygood at attracting women. Once I learned it fromhim, I began to notice that almost ALL of the guysI know, who attract a lot of women, use it.
I don't think you have to reinvent the wheel.Just do what works... and if what you're doing isworking, then keep it up.
And, if you want to learn how to use Cocky &Funny like a MASTER, then go here, read about it,and watch the video clips...
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/CockyComedy
***COMMENT***
yo David!
this is the greatest stuff i have ever seen. itssoooooo easy and yet, until it dawns on you, itseems frustrating. all you nice guys know what I'mtalking about...no sex? girls don't call back?LISTEN to DAVID!! its the simplest formula in theworld. here it is again for the millionth time...
COCKY+FUNNY=WOMEN!!!NUMBERS!!!!!ATTRACTION!!!!FUN!!! SEX!!!forget all that gadget crap, mind "tricks" andpalmistry (don't get me wrong, each CAN beeffective...) it makes absolutely NO DIFFERENCEwhat you do, its the cocky, funny way you do it!be confident! go up to some girls and say supgirls, ask their names, then look at the hottestone and say ARE YOU TRYING TO PICK ME UP???!!!!hahaha and just keep teasing, making the framethat she wants you, and BE SURE TO TELL HER YOUKNOW SHE WANTS YOU!!!! trust me on this, when yousee her face light up with a smile, it will betime, young grasshopper, to become a real LADIESMAN!!! peace, may the CF be with you...
N.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, you'd make a great walking billboardfor my... well...
The problem is that you sound like a late nightinfomercial and I don't think anyone would believeyou...
But seriously, you are right.
It would never cross the minds of most guys tolook at a stunning woman and say, "Are you tryingto pick me up?"
If I'm at a bar talking to a woman, and shegives me any kind of compliment, hints that shelikes me, tells me that I'm funny, etc., I'll say,"Look, I know how you women are. First a littlecompliment, then you're asking me for my number,then you want me to come home with you to "checkout your new stereo" or something. I just want youto know that I'm not that kind of guy, and I won'tfall for it."
Oh, I love it.
***QUESTION***
David,
You are a wise man.
I feel the truth in your words.
I want to implement the techniques that you speakof, I do, I REALLY do. But it seems that when Icome in contact with women that I think areattractive, I can't, or more precisely, I don't.I think I'm afraid of rejection.
If I ask a woman for her number within threeminutes, I just can't see her giving it to me.
And if she did, I wouldn't know when to call her(I'm thinking of the 2 day rule from "Swingers")or if I should call her at all and just keepretreating (a la "Tao of Steve")
Do you subscribe to the theories presented inthese films and do you teach a class?
If yes where do I sign up?
D.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I understand where you're coming from...
I would NEVER have believed that a woman wouldgive out her number to a complete stranger in 2 or3 minutes...
Until I watched some guys actually do it.
As soon as I saw it happen, it completelychanged my idea of what is possible. You just needto get out there and take action. Next time you'retalking to a woman, just say:
"Hey, nice talking to you, but I have to getback to my friends (or what I was doing, etc.)."
Then, just as you're turning away, say:
"Hey... Do you have email?"
When she says "Yes", just take out a pen andpaper and give it to her, expecting her to writeit down. When she does, say, "Nice meeting you,I'll chat with you again when I have some moretime..." and walk away.
Once you're comfortable doing that, starthaving them write their number down as well. It'sreally not that difficult.
As far as how long to wait to call, etc? Justdon't email or call the same day! Email the nextday, and use what you've learned to take things tothe next level.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I haven't had success like this with women in mylife. You sure know your stuff. I've read yourbook about 10 times and I'm still reading it. ButI do have one question though. I have a majordownfall when it comes to communication withwomen. I do good at approaching them and I usuallysay "Hey, how's it goin'?", but I CAN'T FINDANYTHING TO TALK ABOUT. That's my downfall. If Ican keep a conversation going that could the best.But I'm lacking skills in that part, and like yousaid, your success all comes down to your skills.Well Dave, I need a new skill. Can you please helpme. Any feedback will be much appreciated.
~J.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You're going to love this answer.
Don't "talk" about anything at all. Tease, makefun, act cocky & funny, and get the email/digits.
The idea that you have to "talk aboutsomething" will lead you to a curious dry feelingbetween your legs...
***QUESTION***
Dear David...
I'm a 37-year-old guy, not bad looking, dresspretty well, nothing in the way of greatdetractors in my habits that I can tell.
Growing up in a liberal town of liberal-minded,feminist parents, where most conversations werematter-of-fact and direct, very little teasingoccurred, etc. it's been hard trying to lose mymatter- of-fact approach to talking to women andgain this bad-boy-ish attitude you talk about inyour book. It is the complete antithesis to muchof who I see myself as. That said, I still want togive it a try, since being a natural Sensitive Guy(although not a pushover) hasn't given me the hugesuccess I'd like.
My problem comes from my age. Most of the womenfrom 28 up that I meet all want to get marriedpretty soon, and seem to assess me as husbandmaterial rather than sexy- man material. Myfriends say "Well, why don't you just date youngerwomen?"
As if it were that easy!
I want to approach tons of women (despite the fearI feel at each approach if it doesn't already feellike a natural opportunity to me). I have a strongsense, though, that a 37-year-old guy approachinga 23-year-old girl (or anyone under 28, say) wouldbe looked on with suspicion by the girl,especially since I'm nobody famous or rich orwhatever. It's like it's already a giant strokeagainst me, adding to the already huge on I feel Ihave being this naturally considerate, even-handed, egalitarian sort of guy.
I couldn't find it in your book, but have youhonestly seen guys my age do just as well with theyounger girls as guys in their 20s? I'd find thathard to believe; you always hear younger girlstalking about "creepy older guys" (even if thoseguys aren't noticeably creepy -- the mere factthat they're approaching the younger girls seemsto freak them out). What do you think about this?
-B.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First of all, you're not alone. I know thatthere are a lot of other men out there who arethinking, "I'm a nice, stable, intelligent guy...and I should be able to attract women."
You must realize that women don't really careif you're a nice guy. "Nice" doesn't light uptheir emotions and make them feel A GUT LEVELATTRACTION.
What DOES make them feel it? You guessed it...teasing, humor, unpredictable behavior and thatmagical combination of being Cocky & Funny.
I heard a great theory once: Too many of usguys were raised by our MOTHERS, and not ourfathers. Or, we were raised in a household whereour mothers dominated our fathers. In either case,we learned how to please a MOTHER, not how toattract a LOVER.
Do yourself a favor, and think for a momentabout what it would be like to be an attractivewoman in your mid 20s who is approached all thetime by "nice" guys that want to take you out andbore you with conversation about the news andweather. Now ask yourself: "What kind of guy wouldinstantly get my attention and cause me to feel anattraction to him?"
Women like the kind of personality that Iprescribe.
They like it the same way as we guys like firm,young bodies and beautiful faces. Think about it.
...and that about wraps it up.
If you want to learn the secrets that havetaken me YEARS to figure out, then I would highlyrecommend that you go and download a copy of myonline eBook, "Double Your Dating." My book isn'tan imaginary work of fiction that I dreamed up forentertainment purposes.
It's the result of studying what successfulguys do to attract women, then personally testingout and refining what I learned until I felt likeI could explain it in a way that other guys couldunderstand. I also include three booklets with itthat describe the different steps from gettingemails, all the way to getting physical, thepersonality types of the men that are mostattractive to women, and how to turn a woman on inways she's never experienced.
You can download it right now here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook
And, if you're ready for SUPER success withwomen and dating, then it's time for you to stepup to the plate and order yourself a copy of myAdvanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.
I'm talking about over 12 full hours ofdigitally recorded and edited audio or video of MEpersonally teaching you my very best material...the stuff that I teach only in this program and atmy live seminars.
You can order it and try it at zero risk... andI'll even ship it to you in a plain box for yourprivacy. Try it... if you don't like it, just sendit back and you won't pay anything. If you love it(and I know you will because you're going to meetmore women after you go through it), just keep itand I'll even bill you in five easy payments.
I can't make it any easier or at any lowerrisk.
Go check out some great video preview clipshere:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. Make sure you take a few minutes and lookthrough all the different programs that I've puttogether to help you learn how to meet women...you can see them all right here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/Catalog