Proven "Techniques" For Sparking Attraction

>NOTE: If you'd like to see all of the differentprograms I've created to help you learn how toovercome fear, approach women, get numbers, and get dates... plus watch video clips of all ofthem, then check this out:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/Catalog
***QUESTION***
Hello David,
I want to say, your books are great, I just gotthem and I feel a lot more confident. I have a fewquestions. I go to a site... and read some oftheir articles every so often, they talk aboutwingmen and how to use your buddies to youradvantage when trying engaging in conversationwith women. What is your opinion about this andhow do you use this if you do?
And the second question is also from the site; Ihave been talking to a woman for a few minutes andthe conversation goes ok. I ask her name and shetells me. She never asks my name ever in theconversation ,is that a sign she is notinterested? Any help in clearing my confused headwould be helpful.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
To answer your first question, there arepositives and negatives about using a buddy for a"wingman".
My opinions:
1) If you go out with a wingman, make sure he's ALOT better than you at meeting women. Payattention, let him lead, and learn from thesituations you get into.
2) If you don't have any friends that are goodwith women, FIND SOME. I don't care what you haveto do, just go do it... make some friends that aregood with women, and watch closely as theycommunicate with women. You'll learn about 100TIMES as much if you first read my book and listento my CD Audio Series, because you'll know what tolook for.
3) It's also a good idea to use a wingman if youneed the "moral support" of a friend to getyourself started meeting women. But make sure thatyour friend can handle himself when talking towomen. If he can't, he's probably going to makethings worse and scare women away from you. Trustme, I've been through this one MANY times.
What I'm trying to say is that using a"wingman" is great if it works for you. Try it.
To answer your question of "if a woman neverasks my name, is it a sign that she's notinterested?"...
I'm going to answer this in two ways.
First, I'll say that if a woman doesn't askyour name, it MIGHT mean that she's notinterested.
But the thing that concerns me about yourquestion is that you're really looking in thewrong direction for clues to decide if a woman"likes you".
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF A WOMAN "LIKES" YOU!
The only thing that matters is whether or notshe feels that powerful, magical, all-importantemotion called ATTRACTION!
I've had women who were annoyed by me, botheredby me, and basically upset at me still feelingATTRACTION for me because I did the right things.
I've had women who started out fighting with mefeeling so attracted to me that they wouldn'tleave me alone for the evening until I gave themmy number.
My point is that you need to get over caringwhat a woman thinks about you... and start doingthe right things.
If this doesn't make sense to you, then staytuned and check out my Advanced Dating TechniquesProgram... really.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
Just want to tell you your material is verygood and effective. I find that women love a guythat teases them and busts their balls. I findthat they like it when a man approaches them andhe is completely calm and cool, and even better incontrol of the situation. Now I admit this,sometimes the way I approach a girl or what I seemto talk about doesn't "hit em" how I wanted ittoo, like I seem to get boring, pretty damnquikly...and that is when my mind just starts todraw a blank and I dont know..it sucks. Butsometimes I say the right things and I just knowthis for a fact becuz the girl will either have asmile on her face or I'll see her licking herlips...and from what u said in the DYD book thatsa good thing...For example: today I was sitting ata round table with just me and a girl, we werefacing each other, and I'd say she was about an 8.She dresses real pretty and I said something like"Do you dress nice everyday...Or are you justtrying to impress me?" She smiled and licked herlips so I knew that I was right on track...butthen I drew a blank... I didnt kno how to continuethat convo. What are some normal topics to bringup in a conversation with a girl? What are someinteresting ones that they just seem to be veryinto? What else would help me to keep the convogoing and so I don't draw a blank and feel like adork? I appreciate all the help your book hasdone, reading about confidence and all that didhelp..and now I would just like to touch up andbecome more than just an amatuer. You do not haveto post this on the newsletter but hope to hearfrom you soon.
Later,
D from CT
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a great question.
One of the most important things you can do isMENTALLY PREPARE for these kinds of situations.
Now, I don't want to sound like a weirdmotivational self-help guy, but mental preparationWORKS.
Take some time when you're alone, close youreyes, and actually plan out how you'd likeinteractions with women to go. If you've neverdone this before, you'll learn A LOT from it.
You'll think of things that you never wouldhave imagined when you're taking things step bystep in your mind.
One of the OTHER best things you can do is GETA JOURNAL so you can keep notes to yourself.
Try this:
Sit down and write out 20 great things youcould have said in that situation, then go throughand mentally imagine saying each one five times.
Another important thing to do is ALWAYS KNOWHOW TO GET HER INFORMATION AND WALK AWAY.
If you really sense that the conversation isabout to end, you need to know how to ask for heremail/number and go.
You can do this at any stage in theconversation, as soon as you'd like.
Here are a few good topics to try when talkingto women:
1. Why women are crazy, and men are perfect.
2. That she should stop thinking of you only as asex object.
3. What she needs to change to have a chance withyou.
Of course, you need to be able to present thesetopics in a COCKY & FUNNY way so she LAUGHS whileyou're talking about them...
You'll find that topics like these can createsome good fun with women.
***QUESTION***
Hi David,
You are absolutely right! Being nice and wussydoesn't work AT ALL!! Now, this technique ofgetting e-mail in three minutes... I must admitthat it works very often. But it fails ratheroften too. Guess my success rate is only about 50%or something. That is, 40% gives a dummy addressand 10% does NEVER respond. Maybe i'm doingsomething wrong here. But somehow i get theimpression that most women are smarter than that.The most common response to that situation issomething like: "What? You talk to me for a fewminutes and you expect me to give my e-mail?"
My question could either be: "What am i doingwrong?" or "Is 50% the outcome that you wouldexpect from this technique?". I let you decidewhich question you want to answer in the interestof your readers. Anyway, you don't hear mecomplain. Because i've learned an awful lot fromyour book. And my success rates have at leastdoubled, if not tripled, after reading your stuff.And 50% is far better than where i come from.
Now, for my success story, this is an approachthat gives me about 80% success. I talk to a womanfor ten minutes (not three ;-)) and then i saysomething like "Hey, you seem to be rathersmart... or is that just an impression?". When shesays "no" i respond with: "Yeah right, that's whatthey all say! I bet you don't dare me to doublecheck that!". Then i don't give her much time torespond. I immediately come back with: "Oh... youdo? Okay... if you're up to the test, give me youre-mail. I'll send you some tricky questions and iexpect SMART answers." I never mention "meeting"because that always seems to trigger some"pushing" alert. Obviously, when she refuses togive her e-mail, i say: "See! That's exactly whati mean! Boy! Am i disappointed!". I very often gether e-mail after that. And those seem to be ALWAYScorrect addresses ;-) Keep up the terrific jobDavid! You are really HELPING! Bye, PhD (Belgium)
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I love letters like this one.
You get good email addresses from HALF thewomen you talk to for three minutes?
I'd say that you're doing pretty well, cowboy.
Probably half of the women in this world areeither married, in a relationship, lesbians(YES!), or in a bad mood.
Your technique for getting it up to 80% isgreat.
Challenging, funny, and interesting. It createscuriosity and comes across as low risk for thewomen. Very nice.
Just keep working on it, and you'll improveover time.
Good job!
***QUESTION***
Dear David,
I have to say, I am bloody disappointed with youradvice at the moment...
I've used your tips, and written you on 2occasions concerning different subjects. Your lastmailbag actually spoke about an issue I'd had witha woman who I KNOW is interested in me, who gaveme her number, told me she was busy and nevercalled back.
I love music, so, I'm always in the CD shop at thelocal mall. There just happens to be a number ofattractive women who work there. To make a longstory short, one the girls starts being reallynice to me after I start ripping on her, alwayswaving saying hi, going out of her way to serve meon occasions. Hell, once I heard a co worker runout the back and say "he's here" and she camerunning out to ask if I need looking after...Never really acted interested though, didn't speakabout much other than "how was your weekend"stuff.
So I start running into her at a club. Again shegoes out of her way to say hi. So finally shewaved from across the room one day and I signalher to come over as I was getting a drink, sheruns over and gives me a hug and a kiss hello!! (Idon't really know this girl from a bar of soap). Iwas really tired, had only slept 4 hrs the nightbefore, was pretty drunk, it was late too and Iwas about to leave.
Basically I could have taken her home right thenand there (trust me!!) but instead I just said forher to give me her number that I'd take her outsometime. Didn't offer her a drink, just said Ihad to go back to my friends, then we left.
I had been supposed to visit her the next day, itwas usually the day I went shopping, but I wasbusy. I call her the day after, she acted fullyuninterested said she was going away for 10 daysand that she'd call after she'd packed that day.Such as yet, no call... I don't care, she'll paywhen I see her again... in a few weeks (sometimesit's a weeks in between visits). I'd say we rplaying a game now.
Also, just recently had a girl who I'd known thrua friend start msging me, asking to come over tospend time with me, she said 'chat', but shedidn't want to chat. I'd busted on her a bitbefore that started happening.
The issue here with your advice is this...
How the hell do I get these girls to stop throwing"IT" at me?? It's no fun when I just get it servedup. It's not like I get a chance to tell em thatI'm not easy, they don't say in that many wordsthat they want to sleep with me. You just know.
I like to play with them a bit and see if they rgonna be worth the trouble... and I want to know abit about a girl before I sleep with them.
Damn dave, what's going on?? I'm just too good formy own good it seems, how can I slow things downand get em to play a bit longer??
Cheers!!!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You're asking the wrong guy the wrongquestion... Ha Ha! I've helped you get to thepoint where women are "throwing themselves atyou", and you want to know how to SLOW THEM DOWN?
Maybe go check out some "mars and venus" booksor something.
Or watch some Dr. Phil or Oprah.
I don't know... this just isn't my area ofspecialty.
You're killing me over here.
***QUESTION***
Thanks a lot David, NOT!!! I've been reading yourmails for a while now and I've unconsciously beenintegrating the "Cocky&Funny" into my personality(which is great by the way), and it's so much funthat I've realized that I do it all the time (I'vealso realized that being cocky and funny with agirl is just as if you were messing around withyour male friends' heads). But yeah so I've got acomplaint or success story, I'm not sure which itis: so there's this girl who I've met about a yearago and we've been best friends since then... andthen the other day she admitted to my face thatshe had been in love with me for the past sixmonths!!!!!!!! It makes me feel great aboutmyself...but on the other hand it sucks cuz shewas a really great friend, almost a sister, soI'll never be able to go out with her (and there'snothing wrong with the looks or anything). Soyeah, I think you should put a surgeon general'swarning on your "Cocky&Funny". WARNING: May causeyou to be unexplainably attractive to (almost)anyone! So yeah, a word of advice to all thosereading the newsletters, be careful who you usethe C&F with!
Nick, the Belgian
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow, another horrible side effect.
I really should stop teaching this stuff and bea monk or something.
By the way, you can learn some more Cocky &Funny techniques here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/CockyComedy
***SUCCESS STORY FROM A WOMAN***
You answered my email in a recent mailbag, thankyou for answering me so quickly. Your mini- vancomment, while making me want to vomit, made merealize I had to do something - and fast! On ournext date I said something obnoxious to him and hegave me a funny look. Before he could say anythingI said, "you know sometimes I can get kindaobnoxious, and when I do... just tell me toshutup, - and from that point on he didn't let meget away with anything! He is a "real man" afterall!! Yeah! And you said trying to teach a guyhow to stop acting like a WUSSY isn't easy ;)
Later that night when we were saying good-bye, hesaid he was going to come by my work to visit, Iasked him what time he'd be there, and he justsaid "you'll see" with a smirk. I smiled, said"good answer," kissed him, and left.
Ah, the miracle of attraction! Can't wait to seehim again...thank you for saving thisrelationship, and for saving me from dying ofboredom!
Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank youThank you
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Am I really reading this stuff?
I've now got women who are teaching men thismaterial because they just can't deal with theWUSS FACTOR any longer...
It's really too much.
The lesson:
A WOMAN WOULD RATHER TEACH YOU HOW TO ACT LIKEA REAL MAN THAN DEAL WITH A WUSSY.
Unreal.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I just got your book after receiving thenewsletters for a few months and my eyes werereally opened to how many new skills I need toacquire. In the past 6 months (before reading yourbook) I went from being too nice to becoming aprick. After reading your book, I now see thatthere is much, much more to it and that it's ok tobe nice sometimes, but only on your terms. I amhaving a ton of more fun now and am def. gettingreactions from women, but I realize I need to finda middle ground. Being cocky came a little tooeasy for me and right now I am focusing on addinghumor to my personality to balance it. I gotHelitzer's book but it seems a bit overwhelming.What helped you the most when it came to addinghumor to your personality and where is a goodplace to start? One thing I would recommend to allreaders is to find a good female friend to discussyour material with. They will prove to you thatthis stuff is really attention getting and willhelp you improve overall.
Thanks in advance.
AW in Pa
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You've brought up a great point here.
It's SOOOO important that you find the balancebetween Cocky and Funny...
If you're too cocky and arrogant you'll comeacross as insecure, and if you're too funnywithout adding any of the magic of being Cocky,then you'll come across as stupid and goofy.
You must strike the balance.
You'll know when you're getting it right,because the responses from women will become verypowerful.
Even if the reading is difficult, I stillrecommend that you read the comedy book youpurchased. It's great.
As I recommended to another reader above, takethe time to write out ideas for differentsituations, then rehearse them in your mind.
You'll know when you find the right balance.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I am from a Latin American country so forgive myenglish if i make some mistakes. I met a girl in atrip to the beach and i really liked her verymuch. I met some of her friends and asked what washer phone number. Several weeks after that i callher and talk some time and i had to hang up. sometime after that i called her again and we talkedfor hours and she seemeed very interested in me sowe stop talking. One time i called her to hercelular and she didnt answer and inmediatly shecalled to my house that showed me that she wasinterested in me. But then i called her almostdaily and she sort of got bored and when theconversation got to about a minute she told me shehad to go. I insisted on calling her more but thatonly brought bad results and i ask her if i didntlike her i think i realy blew it with her becausei acted like a wuss.
It has passed about 3 months without talking toher i have run with her a few times but ignore heri dont know why. i was really pissed off but somefriends of her that are also my friends told methat she sort of liked me. i knew she liked mebefore i acted like a wuss but i think enough timehave passed and i would like to talk to her againbecause during those 3 months i thought aboutcalling her everyday and i would want some adviceso i can know what to do. Please answer quickly iam waiting eagerly for your answer. Please excusesome of my expressions english is not my firstlanguage.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, you hit the nail on the head.
When you start calling a woman too often,acting clingy and needy, and generally behavinglike a total WUSS BAG, you're probably going todrive her away.
Don't do it anymore!
You need to move on, and get over it.
It's a hard thing for most guys to accept, butwhen you've convinced a woman beyond the shadow ofany reasonable doubt that you are a world-classWUSSY, you just need to move on.
It's an uphill battle to try to convince herotherwise, so just get on with your life, anddon't make the same mistake again.
Repeat after me:
"I will stop acting like a WUSS"
***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***
I don't think I'll start my e-mail with a successstory since I'm a woman and have the freedom towalk into any bar, walk up to any man and tellhim, "by the end of tonight you'll be in bed withme" and it will happen.
I've been using your techniques on men for yearsbut never could put into words how or why itworked. I think most of your principles are truefor both sexes. My friends often accuse me ofbeing a man on the inside and this is why. I am avery confident, self sufficient 22 yr old woman,about an 8 on a 1-10 scale. Add on top of thisthe fact that I use your C+F techniques.
Most times I just meet men that I can walk allover and lose interest in the first 30 seconds(this is why I'm compared to men). Every now andthen I meet a man who also knows how theattraction thing works and we hit it off and havea great "mental tennis" match. This is theproblem. The men I do meet that can match me andkeep my interest are great for a little while, butthen once they realize I can keep up with them andplease them in bed like most women won't, they getover excited and turn into wussies. They starttelling me how they've looked their whole life fora woman like me and yadda yadda. That's great andI appreciate the compliments, but they aren'tkeeping up the C+F/self confidence and I loseinterest--FAST. Case in point: I met a guy whowas about a 6 on a 1-10 scale. He had the wholeC+F thing going on. Everything was great for a fewdates until he confessed to me that he felt likehe was "playing out of his sandbox" and that hedidn't understand why someone as beautiful as Iwould continue to see him. In the snap of afinger I lost all interest in him because at thatpoint, I was above him instead of on equal playingground.
So this is my question: Is there a secretunderground society of double your dating fanaticsthat actually know how to keep a woman's interest?and if so where do I find these men? Also, sinceI'm sure there isn't one, can you give me anyideas as to how to keep men at a safe enoughdistance that they don't feel like confiding alltheir insecurities in me?
Thanks, David, you truly are an attraction genius!Keep up the great work!
K.H. in Ogden, UT
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, there is a secret underground society ofDouble Your Dating fanatics who actually know howto keep a woman's interest.
But the bad news is that THEY'RE NOT IN OGDEN,UTAH!
Was that your first guess about where they'd belocated?
Are you sure that you're as sharp as you sayyou are?
I don't know if I personally buy it.
I've used your email to point out somethingVERY IMPORTANT TO MY READERS...
MOST GUYS, EVEN WHEN THEY "GET IT", EVENTUALLYTURN INTO TOTAL WUSS-BAGS AND STOP DOING THETHINGS THAT ORIGINALLY MADE A WOMAN FEELATTRACTION FOR THEM.
This is when the woman usually hits the road,and the man is left thinking "What did I dowrong... I was such a NICE GUY."
This is a bad thing, so don't do it.
***QUESTION***
Dave the Expert, i never in a million yearsthought a book like yours would ever come out andhelp millions of guys out here that constantlystruggle to find the exact way to attract a woman!And your book is IT...!! i have had a lot ofsuccess these past eight months ever since ibought your book and from reading yournewsletters. i've never dated so many women, it'sgrrrrrreat! but the time has come for me to askyou a question that i am practically begging youto respond to. i finally met this terrific girlwho i think is the "one" 4 months ago and we'vebeen dating since but we just recently broke upbecause she moved to college about 4 hours awayfrom me. it hurt me so bad. i used the cocky/funnyapproach to reel her in at the beginning and keptup the cocky/funny attitude the whole way throughuntil...the break up. ouch! you see, we are bothdancers and we both dance in the same dance studiobut she only comes down from college to practicemaybe once every couple of weeks because her and iare in a duet together. we have a competition inabout a month so i couldn't just back out of itbut it is really awkward having to dance with herbecause i still have feelings for her and our duetis avery emotional dance w/ a lot of feelinginvolved. we broke up because she said thatcollege was stressing her out so much and she feltthat our relationship wouldn't work because longdistance relationships are hard and we couldn'tsee each other as much as we wanted to. plus, sheis on scholarship and she can't let herself makebad grades or else she can't maintain herscholarship. she didn't mean this in a bad way buttold me that i was a little cause of her stressbecause we would talk on the phone when she wassupposed to be doing homework. w/ all the homeworkand the dance team practices up there she staysbusy and rarely ever gets to come down except topractice our duet. we've agreed to just be friendsbut dave, it just doesn't feel right. i want to bemore than friends but i just don't see a way forthis relationship to work out and have it be theway it was when we first started dating! i missher so much and would do anythingto get her backand i think i screwed up by telling her that! itold her that i would make time for her and that inever felt this way about a girl before, which istrue. god, i know i was a complete wussy after webroke up but i felt that it was the right thing todo because after 4 months it didn't seem to matterif i spilled my feelings to her, right? dave, ineed to know what to do to get her back because istill have to dance w/ her and i don't want tofeel uncomfortable and insecure when i'm aroundher. any advice would greatly be appreciated!
-R.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I'm glad you've had so much success with thematerials, and I appreciate the feedback.
I don't usually respond to "relationship"questions... but I just can't help this one.
You've switched into WUSS BOY mode, and you'reonly shooting yourself in the foot, man.
Get on with your life, stop acting like awussy, and quit telling her that you'd "doanything to get her back".
I know it's what you FEEL like saying, but itwill only make you look weaker and weaker if youkeep it up and don't just put it behind you andmove on.
If you want to have any chance at all of thisrelationship work out, then you're going to haveto quit acting whipped and needy.
Now use what you've learned to go meet some newwomen and stop acting like a Wuss.
***QUESTION***
Dear Dave,
I've been reading your articles for the past 2weeks, i think it is so awesome, and i'm soongoing to buy your book. i wanted to tell you thati have no problems with women when i'm notattracted to them, but if they are a perfect 10 iget scared, and i can't even say hi to them, helpme, how can i overcome this fear of pretty girls?
When the girl is not so hot i don't have anyproblems talking to them, getting their phonenumber and going on a date with them, the problemis how do i attract the beautiful women and howshould i approach and actually start aconversation with them?
thanks G. i appreciate your help.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, first of all, go check out an issue ofthe magazine that goes by the name of Perfect 10.
You'll see that the women in there are all overthe map.
In other words, every guy has a different ideaof what a "10" is.
Yes, some women are obviously more attractiveor "fixed up" than others, but we all havedifferent tastes, and in the morning when shewakes up she's going to look a WHOLE LOT differentthan she does when you first see her.
So remember that this girl who is a "10" to youis only a 6 or 7 to another guy. That should help.
Next, if you can't figure out how to get overyour fear of approaching attractive women, thenyou're going to have to just face your fear and doit anyway.
To start with, just focus on saying ANYTHING tothe women you see. You need to see for yourselfand teach your mind and body not to be afraid ofwomen.
I don't care if you walk up to the next 100women you see and say "You're beautiful... can Ihave your autograph?"
lol... that's pretty funny... I just might trythat one myself, come to think of it.
My point is that you need to JUST DO SOMETHING!
Most of the anxiety involved in approachingattractive women comes from the FEAR OF THEUNKNOWN and the FEAR OF EMBARRASSMENT ORREJECTION.
Once you actually approach a bunch of women andtalk to them, you'll find that nothing bad isgoing to happen to you. This works wonders.
Then, when you've gotten past your fear, youcan lead the conversations to getting numbers,etc.
And SPEAKING of overcoming fear, startingconversations with women, getting numbers, gettingdates, and learning how to take things to aPHYSICAL level with women smoothly and withoutrejection...
...I've spent a loooong time studying thistopic.
In fact, I've put more time, effort, and studyinto this area than just about anyone I have evermet (and I've met some guys who are pretty darngood with women).
A few years ago I decided to do something kindof crazy with all this amazing stuff I learnedabout women and dating... I wrote it all down. Infact, I not only wrote it all down, but Iorganized it into logical sections, then created aBOOK.
That book is called "Double Your Dating".
And then I did something ELSE that's kind ofcrazy.
Instead of printing copies of the book, Idecided to only make it available on theINTERNET... as a downloadable "eBook".
Gotta love technology.
And get this... if you'd like to get a copy ofthis book, you can download it right now andliterally be reading it within a few minutes...from your computer screen.
Go here to download it:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook
And if you've already read my eBook and you'reready to REALLY get this entire area of your lifehandled, then I'd like to suggest EXTREMEMEASURES...
My Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.
This program contains over 12 hours ofdigitally recorded and edited video and/or audioof me personally teaching ADVANCED techniques forovercoming fear, approaching women, getting emailaddresses and numbers... and I'm talking aboutHUNDREDS of ideas.
When you go through this program, you'll alsomeet some of my personal friends and guestspeakers who will teach you incredible secrets formeeting women online, giving women fantastic dateexperiences for little or no money... andcommunicating in a way that makes women feel anincredible "animal" attraction for you.
All live and all THE VERY BEST STUFF.
If you'd like to get a copy without risk to you,go here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries
And I'll talk to you soon.
Your Friend,
David D.