Unrealistic expectations in marriage

Go here
http://webcenter.health.webmd.netscape.com/content/article/87/99551.htm?z=1687_00000_0000_f1_04

i plan to rite a book

its about bedroom tips

some tips dat will be available in my book

* An item in the frozen food section that will send shivers up and down your mates body in a very surprising way

* Something in your toiletry bag which doubles as an amazing lovemaking toy

* 2 novel ways to use mirrors in lovemaking that you probably never heard of

* Something in your children's toy chest that can liven up the act

* Find out what month is a guy's testosterone peak

* A great way to invigorate someone who is too tired for sex

* What colored light bulbs will intensify orgasms

* How to get firmer erections and prevent premature ejaculation without medicines

* The two things done in combination that will blow his mind

* A sexy lubrication tip that will have him begging for it each time

* What food and drink you should avoid the 24 hours before making love to avoid unpleasant odors

* One simple trick to make your wife scream in delight like never before

* Which smells can instantly increase penile blood flow by up to 40%

* Where and how to touch your guy when he is about to orgasm that will have him shoot off like a firecracker (even he probably doesn't know this trick)

* Ways to use your mouth on her that will drive her absolutely wild

* Something to do with your hands when you are entering her that will excite her even more

.......................................
BOOK YOUR ORDERS NOW
http://www.theromantic.com/lovemaking.htm

take some time to love yourself before u love others

yes, u cannot love/be loved by another
until u love u

Assexsories

hmmmm ...
learn more here http://www.innovativecity.com/bb/

is he trying to impress u ?

Here are some of the signs that a guy is
feeling the need to "impress" the woman that he'stalking to:

1) He tries to only say "cool" things, or thingsthat will "impress" the woman.

2) He acts nervous and stilted during theconversation... sometimes coming across as"formal".

3) He tries to figure out what the woman wantsto hear.

4) If he says something that the woman doesn'tlike, he "back-pedals" and tries to change whathe said to suit the woman.

5) He doesn't say anything "risky", doesn't teasethe woman, and doesn't do anything to upset her....in other words, when a guy is talking to awoman that he "likes", he's usually on his "bestbehavior", and he's trying to "put his best footforward". To say it again, MEN FEEL A POWERFUL DRIVETO IMPRESS THE WOMAN THAT THEY "LIKE". And this drive to impress often makes themact UNNATURAL. There's your first hint, in fact...THE SECRET Remember at the beginning when I told you thatI was going to share a secret with you about howto impress women that not 1 in 1,000 men willfigure out on their own? Well, here it is: STOP TRYING. If you will just STOP TRYING to impress women,and do the things I'm teaching you instead, womenwill NATURALLY be "impressed" by you.TRYING TO IMPRESS A WOMAN DOESN'T IMPRESS HER. So let's break this down...WHY IMPRESSING WOMEN IS THE WRONG ROAD What's wrong with trying to "impress" women,anyway? To start with, EVERYTHING. When you intentionally try to impress a woman,you send the following messages on a "subtle" level:1) I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so Iwill try to "impress" you instead.2) I'm not comfortable enough around women to justact normal.3) I don't have a lot of experience with attractivewomen.4) I'm insecure.5) I don't know how to make women feel comfortablewith me. Ouch. But it's the truth. Women can TELL INSTANTLY when you're "trying". The conversation doesn't feel "normal", yourbody language is strange, and you can't seem tohave a regular conversation. Now of course, I've just described the way thatabout 99.9999% of men act when they're first talkingto a woman that they "like". Are you ready for a profound insight?

Here goes...MOST MEN DO THIS WITH MOST ATTRACTIVE WOMEN MOSTOF THE TIME. IN OTHER WORDS, IT'S OLD NEWS. IT'SBORING. IT'S PREDICTABLE. AND IT DOES NOT IMPRESSAT ALL.

The bottom line is that trying to impress awoman usually has the OPPOSITE effect. It not only makes you look like a nervous guywho can't make normal conversation... it alsobores the hell out of women.WHAT TO DO INSTEAD OK, so you're out having a cup of tea with abeautiful woman you just met a few days before... She asks you what you do for a living. Should you answer with:1) "Well, I'm an engineer for a software companythat makes sophisticated vector widget plottingalgorithms. I've been with them for three years,and I'm about to be promoted to ALGORITHMMANAGER."2) "I do stunt work. Have you ever seen it ina movie when a hot actor has to reveal his nakedass? That's my job."...? Well, it all depends on what your outcome is. If you want to try and IMPRESS the girl withyour cool high-tech job, then #1 will work justfine. Unfortunately, it won't impress her at all,and it will make you sound like a jackass who istrying to sound cool. If you want to ACTUALLY impress her, try #2. Most men don't have the BALLS to say somethinglike this when a woman asks a "serious" questionlike "What do you do?". If you REALLY want to make a long-lastingimpression, KEEP THE HUMOR GOING. She'll say "No, really... what do you do?". Answer with: "No, really. Haven't you everseen it when an actor needs a stunt ass? I meanhey... someone's got to do it". Now, I can't possibly go into all the reasonswhy it's a HUGE MISTAKE to try to impress a woman,or to feel like everything you say should be"impressive". There are MANY reasons for this. MORE IMPORTANTLY, there are a few things youcan do that will INSTANTLY impress a woman...and I mean REALLY impress her. But these things aren't OBVIOUS. The most IMPORTANT thing you can do toIMPRESS a woman is make her feel a powerfulemotional ATTRACTION for you. This feeling will stay with her long after youhave left and gone home. And it's the one thing that will make womenpursue YOU... and try to impress YOU. What's the best way to do this?1) Stop trying to IMPRESS women. Stop now.2) Go download a copy of my online eBook "DoubleYour Dating", and read it. It contains literallyDOZENS and dozens of great techniques for you touse that will make women feel ATTRACTION for you. And if you've already read my eBook, and you'reready to take your success to an entirely newlevel, then you must get yourself a copy of my"Advanced Dating Techniques" CD/DVD Program. This is the most complete, detailed, step-by-step system available for becoming the kind ofman that women want to be with. This program is GUARANTEED 100% by me to takeyou to the next level and beyond with women. Check out the free samples of both my eBookand my Advanced Dating Techniques Program...The eBook is here:http://www.DoubleYourDatingAdvice.com/e/10006/eBook/The Advanced Series is here:http://www.DoubleYourDatingAdvice.com/e/10006/AdvancedSeries/ I'll talk to you again soon. Your Friend, David D. --------------------------------------------------Copyright 2005 David DeAngelo CommunicationsInc., All Rights Reserved. Double Your Datingand David DeAngelo are trademarks of DavidDeAngelo Communications Inc. You agree to all ofthe following by accepting and reading this: Youunderstand this to be an expression of opinionsand not professional advice. It is only to beused for personal entertainment purposes. You aresolely responsible for the use of the ideas,concepts, and content and hold David DeAngeloCommunications Inc. and all members and affiliatesharmless in any event or claim. If you are underthe age of 18, please go to the link at the endof this e-letter to stop receiving it or sendmail to "DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th FloorLas Vegas, NV 89109.--------------------------------------------------.

“How To Tell If She’s Ready To Be Kissed”

I used to have no idea if a woman was ready to be kissed.
I could be sitting there talking to her, thinking to myself “Wow, her lips really look nice...” but I didn't know what to do next. This would often leave me kissless, and many times kissless for good, as I didn't get another chance.
Here's what I do now:
If I've been talking to a girl, and I want to know if she's ready to be kissed, I'll reach over and touch her hair while we're talking and make a comment about it. I'll say "Your hair looks so soft" and just touch the tips of it.
If she smiles and likes this, I'll reach back over and start stroking it again, but this time I also glance down at her lips and back up to her eyes a couple of times. If she lets me keep touching her hair, I know that she's ready to be kissed.
By using “The Kiss Test” I've been kind and complimentary, but by being very SUBTLE about it, I haven't given her anything she can object to. I now have a way of knowing if she's ready to be kissed that NEVER gets me rejected—and I know within 5 minutes what it used to take me hours or days to figure out...
Next Page

wanna talk about Sex ?

I'm a little worried - it seems that for some reason the word has gotten out that I'm good at talking about Sex.

Let me qualify that - the word seems to have gotten out that if you want someone to speak to your youth group or young adults - that I'm good at talking about Sex.

In my last church we had a four week series on the topic - we called it 'Sex Fest' (the service was called 'Festival' - hence the 'Fest' part).

The service was aimed primarily at 14 to 30 year olds and we had a lot of fun with it. In fact some of what we did bordered on irreverent (it got pretty wacky) but the aim of it was to get people talking about a topic that Church often largely ignores - except when its says 'don't do it'.

'Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be'
- Salt-N-Pepper

I think churches should take Salt-N-Pepper's advice.
We had a lot of fun, but in the process took a good long look at what our culture says about sex (the truths and lies), what the bible says about it, the realities and pressures that we face with it, some of the health issues etc etc etc

Anyway - since that time I've had calls from a number of people who've heard about it and wanting me to do something similar in their churches/camps/youth groups.
I've got another one in the next week or so and I thought I'd open up the topic for discussion here and ask you if you've seen any creative ways of teaching young people about Sex?

Have you seen any good resources? Any ideas or thoughts? Anything goes (well almost). Looking forward to your thoughts and experiences in comments.

Update - here is a starting point that I've already found. It is four MP3s of a record (remember them?) from the 1970's of a Christian educator. They are quite hilarious. Here are the links - its worth the download.

- How Babies are Born- Girls and Menstruation- The Problem with Growing Boys- The Marriage Union

Copy pasted from an article i read

frustrated ?

Dear Friend,
If you are frustrated by not being able to last as long as you want during love making, then this will be the most important letter you ever read. Here is why ...
I am Christian Gudnason creator of The Ejaculation Master.
In this letter I'm going to share with you how I developed a powerful cure for premature ejaculation, how I've helped hundreds of men to gain their desired lasting power, and how I can also help you without ever meeting you face to face.
I'll tell you about my own problem with premature ejaculation and how I fixed it. I'll also share the stories of some of my clients (name have been changed) and their recovery.
And finally I'm going to show you how you can also ...
Gain total control over your ejaculation,
Make passionate love for hours on end
Give your girl the orgasm of a life time.
... to put it simply becoming your honey's dream lover !
But first, let's start with Andrew's hopeless story and how he transformed from a two second shame-case into a confident passionate lover ...
"Andrew Ejaculated While Simply Touching The Pubic Hair."
It hit him when he was 23 years old and he couldn't overcome it until ten years later.
He was divorced and broken down with feelings of no self-worth when he first came to my office.
He admitted that he had hardly ever gotten his penis inside his wife. He had always ejaculated on simply touching the pubic hair.
So, I gave him a plan to follow.
A plan to train himself to last longer.
A plan that has worked for hundreds of premature ejaculators - before him and since.
A few weeks later during intercourse, he brought a woman to orgasm for the first time. Today, they are married.
And when I met him again the other day (three years later), he told me that premature ejaculation has never bothered him again.
" If He Can Do It, So Can You! "
I'm telling you this story for a reason.
Most men who suffer from premature ejaculation (including me in past years) have very little hope that they can be cured.
Isn't your ejaculation totally uncontrollable?
So uncontrollable, in fact, that it is even beyond your understanding how some men can last as long as they want?
"Here Is How Premature Ejaculation Control Works ...
There are several basic reason why you can't control your ejaculation.
The causes are all emotional; none of them are physical.
The biggest reason is that you can't handle a sudden level of sexual intensity.
When the excitement rises, it acts like a trigger in your testicles and you just have to shoot.
However ...
You can build up your endurance and tolerance for powerful, pleasurable lovemaking.
Build your endurance like an athlete builds his endurance for pain and physical strength. It's the Same principle, but a different approach.
"It's Not Just About Lasting Longer."
Your whole love life will change for the better.
You become the kind of lover who can satisfy any woman.
Not only because you can last as long as you want, but because you now can put all of your energy into the lovemaking.
You don't have to hold anything back.
Most men worry about coming too fast while making love. Not only premature ejaculators, but almost every man.
But you won't have to worry when you have developed your great sexual staying power.
You can focus 100% on your soft sweat partner and the pleasure that you are experiencing together without any fear.
And she feels the difference in your mood.
So, you may ask ...
" Q: What Is Required Of Me? "
The first question that you have to ask yourself is whether you are ready to commit completely to curing your premature ejaculation.
Is your pain and shame sufficient to cause you to put effort into curing your problem?
(This was not really a question I know how badly this feels.)
Unlike "quick fixes" and "magical solutions" sold all over the net that never work for anyone (I can tell you a few horror stories later), the Ejaculation Master Plan requires minimal effort on your part.
You have to commit to a least 30 minutes at a time, three to seven times a week, for one or two months.
You can practice the steps explained in the plan alone, or with your partner, but you must be ready to commit to a few hours a week.
Anyone who tries to sell you a plan that requires less effort is lying, and you won't benefit from it.
So, if that is too much to ask, stop reading right now!
But no effort is too much to gain permanent cure for your premature ejaculation and never having to come too fast again, is it? I didn't think so.
And especially when you realize what you get ...

"Q: Okay, But What Will I Get?"
You'll get my life's work as a sex-therapist, my years of experience working with premature ejaculators, delivered online immediately as soon as you secure your copy of the Ejaculation Master.
You will have ...
The most comprehensive and effective guide ever created to cure premature ejaculation and gain powerful sexual staying stamina.
You will benefit from a high success rate and can be confident that the plan will work for you because it has been proven effective for more than 97% premature ejaculators before you.
You are led step-by-step from the moment you download the guide until you have learned the skills of making love for as long as you want.
You remain anonymous and benefit promptly because the guide is downloaded as soon as you decide that you want it.
You never get stuck because you can email me at anytime if you have questions arise. You have your own personal sex therapist available at your door-step.
You gain complete understanding of your problem, which gives you a stronger reality-base for curing it.
You take no risk because you are provided with my personal no-questions-asked money-back guarantee.
"Q: What Makes Your Program So Different?"
A: Effectiveness, Effectiveness, and Effectiveness!
If you buy a program, take the time to train, and make the effort to heal your premature ejaculation, then you want to be sure that the program that you practice will work for you.
Most premature ejaculation programs are produced by honest men who have stumbled onto solutions to cure their own premature ejaculations.
Their programs worked for them.
... but it doesn't mean that their programs will work for you!
These programs usually only cure 60 - 70% of premature ejaculators. Leaving 30 - 40% of clients without help.
However, I have developed and tested the Ejaculation Master plan with the help of more than 856 personal clients. With an amazing success rate.
"The Ejaculation Master Benefits 97% of It's Users."
That is why you can purchase and practice the program with complete confidence that it will work for you.
Another unique benefit of the Ejaculation Master is that ...
"You Can Train With Or Without A Partner."
Most programs require that you have a partner to practice with you. This is not always convenient.
Tests have shown that men who practice the Ejaculation Master alone will benefit almost as quickly as men who practice with partners do.
Although, it is more fun to play with your honey, it is good to have the option to train alone.
But training programs are not the only solution sold online.
"Q: How About Desensitize Creams and Medicine?"
Please stay away from desensitize creams and medicine.
Too many people have been scammed in the past by even some of the largest drug companies with all kind of desensitize devices.
Curing premature ejaculation is not about desensitizing anything.
The problem is simply that most premature ejaculators don't sense clearly that they are about to come.
... and then they ejaculate without control.
Many premature ejaculators even suffer from mild impotency. And desensitizing the penis in these cases makes the problem much worse.
And think about your honey ...
If you put desensitizing cream on your penis, it will desensitize her vagina, making it impossible for her to enjoy sex. And condom or good quality cream will not prevent this.
"Medicine Doesn't Help Either."
Premature ejaculation very seldom has a physical cause.
And most of the ingredient in those pills are nothing more than what you could buy in your local supermarket.
They scams meant to take advantages of your poor situation without helping you at all. Medicine won't help ...
... just think about this logically.
If you were training for the Olympics, you would probably agree that no medicine or devices could replace good old fashioned physical effort. Right?
The same principle applies when developing sexual staying power. You must train yourself correctly, beginning today.
"Adopt The Wrong Approach And You Won't Benefit!"
The Ejaculation Master is created from a plan that has been proved to be extremely effective for my clients.
Some of them suffering from what looked like incurable premature ejaculation, but they conquered it.
Based on my past experience, I am so utterly convinced that the plan will work for you that I am willing to back it up with a 100%, no-questions-asked, my-dog-ate-it, money-back guarantee.

The Best Part Is, I Guarantee Results!
My Unbeatable 60 daysSatisfaction Guarantee:
If you still doubt you have the ability to gain the amazing staying power I am promising, then I guess I have stronger belief in you than you have in yourself.
However I can’t blame you. If someone would have told me how easy it is to control premature ejaculation back in my black days, I wouldn't have believed him.
But I did indeed cure my premature ejaculation and so have more than 856 happy personal clients.
...and you can be cured too.
That is why I am willing to let you try the program out without you making any commitment.
I am willing to give you the program risk free!
Just secure your copy of the Ejaculation Master now, try it for a whole 60 days, and start experiencing the amazing results.
If at any point within these 60 days you are not totally thrilled with the results, I will fully refund you.
No questions asked!

But you won't have to ask for your money back, because the plan works wonders.
"Plus It Costs You Less Than The Price Of A Cheap Date!"
That's right ...
I want everybody to be able to afford the program.
Although my colleagues encourage me to not sell my entire life's work for less than $200.00, which is what one private session in my office costs,
...I just have to sell it cheaply for now!
One day I will, of course, have to raise the price to what the program is really worth, but for now you can obtain it for only $49.00.
And there are no shipping or handling fees, because you secure your copy by downloading it immediately.
Within five minutes you can start benefiting from the Ejaculation Master program.
"So, Let's Sum Up ...
In just a few short weeks you will change your lovemaking skills for the rest of your life.
Instead of wasting maybe 50 - 60 great sexually-active years in shameful premature ejaculation, you will become a legendary lover and enjoy sex like most other men only dream of.
You ...
Cure your premature ejaculation quickly - because you are following my tested method which has worked for hundreds of premature ejaculators of all races.
You are able to satisfy any woman - not only because of your staying power, but also because you can focus on her 100% instead of worrying about coming too quickly.
You enjoy sex like you should - because making love is fun and the longer you make love without a worry the better it becomes.
Win your honey's love forever - because she knows that few men can ever make love to her like you do. And sex becomes fun, a pleasurable game for her, instead of a dreadful and shameful quick coming.
And I take all of the risk - because the program is money-back guaranteed.
"So Tell Me; Are You Ready To Change Your Life?"

Yes! I am Dying To Give It To My Honey Good! Please Send Me The Guide!
Please Read The Following Agreement
I am aware that I have an entire 60 days to try the guide out and practice the exercises.
If, at any time, during these 60 days, I am less than satisfied with the program, I have the right to a refund of my payment without a need for explanation.
I understand that the Ejaculation Master is only intended to cure premature ejaculation and does not claim to do anything else. Although it has often improved confidence, relationships, and love between partners.
I will download the guide immediately after securing my order and can begin to use it within minutes
Fill Out The Form To Enroll In The Program And Cure Your Premature Ejaculation Permanently:


Any question or comments?Contact:Christian Gudnason christian@EjaculationMaster.com

P.S. , Since you're still reading... will you do me a favor? Here's the thing... I've just added 3 "bonuses" to my program that a select group of men who have tried it are raving about.
What are they? I'm glad you asked...
They're hypnosis sessions by one of America's most powerful hypnotists... and they are said to be extremely powerful when you want to cure your premature ejaculation and get rid of all your anxiety before you have sex ...
Which happen to be the biggest
"underlying causes" for premature ejaculation.
So here's what I'd like to ask you... Will you test them, try them and send me a note about them?
I'm giving them away completely free if you decide to enroll in my program today. They're selling for $89 right now , but all 3 sessions are yours to keep, free of charge, if you just send me a note about them.
I will raise my program's price to $79.99 to cover for the costs. BUT today... you don't spend a dime extra.
There is just one catch.You have to enroll today - NOW - while I can still use your opinion... If these sessions are everything premature ejaculators say they are, I will press them on CD, include them in my program and raise the price of the Program to $79.99

P.P.S., Read what other (ex) Premature Ejaculators have to say about my program:
I Was Skeptical But Acted Brave!
"Although I was quit skeptical at first about what your program could do for me, I'm glad that curiosity had the best of me and that I did try it. I have tried other stuff like herbs and creams, which did not help me at all, but your stuff is something else. It really works good for me in several ways. I was never able to last more than two minutes before, but now I make love to my wife for twenty minutes minimum. That part is easy now and that's great but I also feel more confident and self-assured in my day to day life. Can your program make me feel like that or is it just a coincidence ?"
Bryan, (39) Ontario, Canada
From 2 second To 30 Minutes Within A Month!
"I have never experienced orgasms like this. I never really had much of a sexual appetite but now I can not get enough of the sex and my wife thinks that I am a new man. The sex is fantastic and like I said the orgasms are amazing. No longer do I have a small 2 second intercourse, it is more like 30 minutes. And it only took me less than a month of following your program! Thank god that I found your site. I hope you use this on the site."
Lyle A. (29) New York, USA
You Gave Me My Wife's Love Again!
This is the greatest. I followed your program as instructed and in a weeks time I have improved about 90%. Before I could not stay hard or I would ejaculate before I could get it in. I've tried every medication on the market and every techinec known to man.
I train everyday and I'm improving everyday. Just my wife.... She has that glow again and sleeps under me night after night. We wake in the morning and start all over again.. You've saved my marriage...Thanks again!
Robert (27),Fort Lewis, Colorado
My Boyfriend Wasn't Satisfying Me!
“I really love my boyfriend, but he was seriously lacking in bed. He had no confidence and no endurance. I couldn’t help but feel utterly unsatisfied.
So I ordered your program for him, and everything is now how I always imagined it. His sex drive is through the roof, and every session is a marathon! He has a new-found enthusiasm in bed, and I have a new-found enthusiasm for him! Thanks so much.”
Natasha (23)LA, California
A 60 Second Man Becomes King In Bed!
“I couldn’t last more than 60 seconds with any girl. I tried everything, from cock rings to lotions. Nothing helped. I couldn’t imagine a more embarrassing problem to have to live with. After using your program, I have finally taken control of my sex life. The instructions are easy to follow, the exercises took way less time than I thought they would and I experienced the results within a month.
Instead of feeling like a joker in bed, I now feel like a king! Thanks Christian!”
Derek-(32)San Antonio




Fill Out The Form To Enroll In The Program And Cure Your Premature Ejaculation Permanently:





Webmasters

Foreplay

Sexual Foreplay and Touching
(conservative)Your Powerful Touch…
Guess what? You have the powerful ability to use touching to create all kinds of crazy sexy emotions in you girl. The following notes show you how to create various emotional responses...
1) Passion/ Love Foreplay Touching
If you want to create passion and love in the woman of your dreams, the first thing to remember is not to rush.Don’t rush her into kissing on the first date, don’t rush her into more than she wants. Instead let her lead the pace in what she wants and how she wants it.Get ready to pay attention, because this is powerful… Show her you value her as a human being and not just a body. Touch her often and in different ways. Start Arousal by:• Arm brushing and hand holding.• Put an arm around her waist.• Walking together, with fingers linked.• Let your thumb explore her wrist.• Run a finger down her cheek.• Use a finger to outline her lips and the curves of her cheeks.• When you are sitting and watching TV together, massage her feet and gently pull her toes and then work your way upwards.• With your thumb lightly brush her lower lip, till she parts her lips and allows you entry.• Stroke your hand, palm down on her back.• Use both hands, palms inwards to map the outline of her body.• Massage her shoulders, and back muscles and follow it up with gentle kisses.• Give her small kisses on her ears, or nibble on her neck and make your way down.• Don’t touch her breast straight away, circle around it, moving closer all the time, till she strains against you.• Use your imagination and together you will both discover what works best for the two of you. Encourage her to tell you what she likes best.• Use the no tongue quick kiss, when you are familiar with each other.• Put her first, and not your own pleasure.• Lots of eye contact.2) Arousal / Attraction Seduction
Arousal and attraction can transform into long lasting passion and love, or it may stay as it is. So, by its nature, it is short term. As such what you need to do is different and geared at achieving a certain goal in a specific length of time.As such you can start by:• Making it obvious you fancy her, by sending her long, hot looks.• Play her body as an instrument, by touching her often and in different ways.• Brush against her frequently as though by accident.• Kiss her often.• Stroke her every chance you get.• When you think she is ready, get her to a secluded place and kiss her with confidence.• Try the quick kiss with tongue.• Try different kisses, nibbles, soft kisses, interspersed with hot French kisses, then back to licking her lips and kissing other parts of her body.• Keep your mouth teasingly out of reach, when you are finding it hot and heavy. Let her have to struggle to reach out and kiss you on the mouth.
3) Seduction
Seducing is the first step that leads to arousal and attraction. It is the way you will get her to single you out for her attention. The aim here is to make her feel special:• Make eye contact.• Look deep into her eyes.• Touch her accidentally, but don’t kiss her.• Invite her out for a date, coffee, a movie, a walk whatever works for both of you.• Don’t kiss her on the first date.• Don’t be the pursuer, give her space and follow her lead.• Touch her often enough to know you want her, push back her hair from her face, guide her gently with a hand on her back or by holding her elbow.• Keep her guessing.• Let the anticipation build and only then,• Kiss her when she least expects it.• Romance her in ways she doesn’t expect, like getting her something small for no reason at all, or planning a special outing, maybe to a place the two of you have always wanted to go.Like I said before, it’s critical you don’t rush her into anything she’s not ready for, but how do you know if she’s ready? Is there a way to tell how far a girl is willing to go before I go out with her?The answer is Yes.My friend Derek Vitalio has created something specific to this subject of understanding the sexual energy of you partner. Sometimes different women are interested in different things and there’s usually no way to figure outwhat she is open to sexually. It’s called Palm Reading for Seduction.Yes! Palm Reading of all things. No bulls&#t. Derek Vitalio is a master at reading women and he’ll teach you how to measure women before you even go out (or go home) with them.Now there is a way to determine exactly what your girl is going to be open to, thanks to Derek, and you can check it out here: Palm Reading for Seduction
4) Appreciation for Respect
For any kind of long term success with girls you have to genuinely like them and respect them, otherwise you will always have trouble attracting a girl. However, there are some dos and don’ts you need to follow to be a successful and attractive to woman:Where not to touch...Most girls have one problem the world over. The moment they let a man kiss them, he makes a bee-line for either her breasts or her ass, which is such a turn off.So where should you not touch?The genitals are a big No! not untill your partner indicates it’s okay. Try it too soon and you are going to be left high and dry. Don’t reach for the breasts either, till you have had a few dates, have kissed a few times and are comfortable with each other.Be extra cautious about that unless of course your partner indicates it by either making it very obvious (like putting your hand on her breast) or pushing herself hard against your body.Touching Boundaries
If your girl has indicated that touching her breasts is okay then by all means go ahead. You can first trace a finger starting on the outside of her breast and then moving closer and closer till you reach the nipple.Cup the whole breast in the palm of your hand and squeeze gently. Don’t undress her or kiss her nipples till she indicates it is okay. As far as genitals go, don’t go overboard, in case you frighten her away or she gets cold feet later on. Follow where she leads and if she says it’s okay, go ahead and explore.Keep in mind that if you both are in a secluded, private place, it could get out of hand pretty soon. To keep within your boundaries and stay within limits, choose a semi private place, where you know you can be disturbed.That will help you keep a curb on your passion and your girl will respect you all the more for it later on.Sending Sexy Messages and FeedbackKeep on communicating. Listen to her sighs and be conscious of her body language to judge what she likes. Don’t hesitate to ask her, as you both discover new things together.Kissing, like sex, is one of the few things in life that gets better each time you try it. In this case, practice really makes perfect.Pull back to look at her: are her cheeks flushed; her eyes a bit glazed; is she breathing heavily – in short, is she liking it.At the same time don’t hesitate to show her what you like. You can tell her things like, ‘I love the way you kiss my throat’… If on the other hand she immediately pulls away and begins to straighten her hair or her clothing, it’s time to stop. Don’t push, when it is not wanted.
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Mind games or how to attract woomen

I'd like to talk a bit about how we programourselves and become programmed when it comes todealing with women... as well as how to overcomethe negative programming that we often don't evenrecognize within ourselves. Let me ask you a few questions. Take a momentto think about the answers... maybe even writethem down.1) When it comes to women, do you have an overall"positive" outlook towards your success? Do youbelieve that there is "abundance" when it comes towomen, and that you can go out at any time and geta date if you want to? Why or why not?2) Do you have any negative beliefs or programmingwhen it comes to the idea of APPROACHING womenyou'd like to meet or asking women out on dates?Do you believe that you're going to be intrudingor annoying a woman if you approach her? Do youbelieve that a woman will most likely accept orreject a date request from you?3) Have you CHOSEN the beliefs and attitudes thatyou have towards women, or have they been "chosenfor you" by others, situations, programming, TV,the media, etc.?4) Would you like to change some of the attitudesand beliefs that you hold in your mind? If so,which ones and what would you like to change themto? If you're like most guys I know who would liketo improve their success with women, then youprobably have one or two "negative programs" inyour subconscious mind (if you're like I used tobe before I learned the things I know now, thenyou might have A LOT of them). I can remember when I used to believe thatwomen would be VERY offended or alarmed if I triedto strike up an unexpected conversation withthem... I can remember feeling that if a woman rejectedme in front of other people that I WOULD DIE ofembarrassment. I can remember thinking, "Why would a womanfind ME attractive?" And believing that thetruly desirable, beautiful women out there justwouldn't find a guy like me interesting orattractive because I wasn't rich, tall, famous,buff, or of royal descent. And as a matter of fact, even though I've spentliterally YEARS reprogramming myself and learningas much as I could about women and attraction, Istill know that somewhere deep in my subconsciousmind this old programming exists. Of course, itdoesn't affect my behavior the way it used to, butmy point is that once you program yourself or openyourself to programming from others and from ourmodern culture, it's sometimes a challenge toovercome that programming and go on to besuccessful. Let me give you a little Tough Love: NO ONE CARES WHETHER OR NOT YOU FIGURE THISSTUFF OUT WITH WOMEN. AND NO ONE CARES WHETHER ORNOT YOU'RE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN... OTHER THANYOU. Really. If you learn how to meet and date the kinds ofwomen that you've always wanted, it won't matterto anyone. Your friends won't think you're anycooler (well, maybe a little), your mom won't stopnagging you, your boss won't pay you more money,and you won't lose that extra 10 pounds thatyou've needed to lose for the past 10 years. It just doesn't matter. No one cares. THE ONLY PERSON THAT CARES IS YOU. And the only one that's going to be able to doanything about this programming that we're talkingabout IS YOU. Your buddies aren't going to come over tomorrownight and say, "Hey, you know, I've been thinkingabout it. You really need to do something aboutyour subconscious programming in the area of womenand dating, and I'd like to help you." Your mom isn't going to call you up and say,"You know, dear, I've been thinking about it, andI really put some bad ideas in your mind about howto treat women... I'd like to address those thingsin this call and help you become the mac daddyyou've always wanted to be." Nope. You're not going to get a call from the guysthat run the ads that say, "Show her that you loveher by spending five grand on a pair of diamondearrings" to tell you that the ads really aren'ttrue and that no amount of diamonds will help youmeet women if you're programmed to act like aWUSSY. It just ain't gonna happen that way. If you want to do something about yourprogramming and your success, you're going to haveto DO IT ALL YOURSELF. Here, let me say that again... just in case youdidn't get it... YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALL YOURSELF. And what's the best way to do it yourself? This is a fantastic question... There are a lot of ways to get going, but Ihave a few favorites... and since we only have alittle time together in this newsletter, I'll getright to the point...1) Look around and pay careful attention to what'sREALLY going on. Just like a comedian looks at thefine details and tells stories about things thatwe never see... but are right there in front ofus, you need to look closer. Here's a little story. I was in Vegas awhile back for a visit. Ihadn't been to Vegas in about 4 years, soeverything seemed new to me... there were about 5huge new hotels that had just opened, and I spentthe day walking around and just seeing the sights. As I walked around, I looked at the people...and especially at the couples. I'm not sure if itwas because I was looking at all of the new sightsor what, but for some reason I was really noticinga lot of little details... and I was payingspecial attention to the couples that werestrolling around on the strip. It's always amazing to me how attractive womenwill be with guys of all shapes, sizes, andages... When you really look around and pay attentionto what's actually going on, you'll be amazed. And you don't have to be in Vegas to see thisphenomenon yourself. Just go out on a Friday nightand look around. Now, before you say, "Yeah, but if you're richor handsome or tall you'll get more chicks", Iwill acknowledge that these things can providecertain advantages, but they're not NEAR the levelof advantage that WOMEN get from being physicallyattractive... not even close, actually. The more I pay attention, learn and trythings, the more I realize that women respond toPERSONALITY far more than they respond to LOOKS. I've even made it a point to ask guys who aretall, handsome, etc., if they believe that theirsuccess with women comes from those things. Almostuniversally they tell me that their ATTITUDES andSKILLS are far more important than their looks. I've also met a lot of tall, good-looking guysat my seminars who have INCREDIBLE problemsmeeting women. The more experience I have withthis, the more I realize just how little LOOKS hasto do with the equation. You've probably read some of these newsletterswhere good looking guys write in and say, "I'mbuff, good looking, and I have women talking to meall the time, but I can't get any dates... theyonly like me as a friend." So, part of this step is for you to take a dayor so and go out in public... to a place that isPACKED with people, and look around at thecouples. Look with your own two eyes and see allof the attractive women that are with guys who areNOT what you would consider to be "physicallyattractive." You need to see with your own eyes what's goingon in the REAL world. This is a big step in changing some of yourprogramming.2) Watch some guys who are successful with women. One of the best things I've ever done is makefriends with some REALLY SUCCESSFUL guys (I'mtalking about success with women here). As amatter of fact, most of the techniques that I'velearned, developed, and write about originallystarted out as something I got from friends bywatching them interact with women. When you watch guys who know how to make womenfeel that magical emotion called "ATTRACTION",you'll start to see the patterns in theirbehavior, and the patterns in the responses fromwomen. Nothing can replace watching a guy walk up to awoman, start talking to her, and walk away 5minutes later with her number. So make some new friends if you have to. Justdo what it takes to watch some guys interact withwomen. It's a big one. (If you're at a point in your life where you'retoo busy with work, etc. to get out and meet guyswho are successful with women, then do yourself afavor and subscribe to my monthly CD interviewseries... that will help a LOT. It's here:http://www.DoubleYourDatingResources.com/e/10020/InterviewSeries/3) Stop looking for a "magic pill". Realize thatyou're going to have to CONSTANTLY learn andimprove. I know, I know. You'd like to take a pill andhave this whole part of your life handled. You'd like a computer chip implanted in yourbrain that will change you into a chick-magnet. Well, until these things exist, you're going tohave to do it the old fashioned way... you'regoing to have to actually DO SOMETHING. At first, it might seem a little uncomfortable.You might feel weird going out to a bar alone justto look at the people. But don't worry, no one will care (rememberwhat I said earlier... nobody cares whether or notyou're successful, only you do). The more you improve, the more you'll WANT toimprove, and the easier it will become. Read books, try things, experiment. Keep ajournal, write down what works and what doesn't,think about the things you'd like to change andwrite them down. JUST KEEP IMPROVING A LITTLE BIT AT A TIME. If you do these things, you'll begin toREPROGRAM YOURSELF and change your negativeprogramming into POSITIVE programming and success. Of course, the best place to start is with someof the materials that I've put together... It took me years of trial and error to reallyfigure out what works with women. Repeat: It took me YEARS. Years of trial and error. I'm talking about trying out everything you canimagine...and having MOST of it NOT work. Every time I found something that DID work, Itook the idea, refined it, and wrote it down...then worked on it some more. As you already know, I've taken all the stuffI've learned for myself and put it into theprograms that I've created to help YOU learn thisstuff much quicker and easier than I ever did. One of the things I discovered while I waslearning how to attract women, was that most menwalk around with a DEEP INSECURITY inside. It took me a few years to figure out somethingeven MORE important: That insecurity can't be fixed with "pick uplines". And the reality is that it's MORE than just aninsecurity issue... It's actually that most men have never gonethrough the process of BECOMING a man whoNATURALLY attracts women. One of the programs I've created is actuallycalled "On Being A Man Who Naturally AttractsWomen". This program has very few "tricks andtechniques", because once you learn how to getthis powerful INNER stuff handled, success withwomen often just takes care of itself. I honestly believe that this particular programis my most PROFOUND... and possibly my mostORIGINAL program. And I'll tell you this: It has PROFOUND effectson the guys who learn and INTERNALIZE thematerials inside. I would love to rant and rave some more aboutit, but trust me: If you need to get your"masculine development" handled, go read all thedetails and watch the video preview clips foryourself. You can check them out here:http://www.DoubleYourDatingResources.com/e/10020/OnBeingAMan/ Now, if you REALLY want to take your successwith women to the next level FAST, you need toALSO get my CD/DVD Advanced Dating Techniquesprogram. This takes the concepts you're learning aboutin these newsletters of mine, and goes MUCH deeperwith them. I spend several hours teaching thetheories and concepts BEHIND the techniques, soyou can work to change on MANY levels. I'll even teach you some great techniques forthis very IMPORTANT area that we've just discussedin this newsletter: YOUR BELIEFS. All the details, plus video samples, are here:http://www.DoubleYourDatingResources.com/e/10020/AdvancedSeries/ By the way, the best part about these programsand all of my other ones is:- I'll send them to you to try at MY risk. Youdon't have to pay until AFTER you've checked themout and ACTUALLY USED them for a month.- I'll send them to you in a plain package, (soyour mom won't know what's in it).- I'll guarantee that it will help you get moredates starting IMMEDIATELY. And I put my moneywhere my mouth is. Again, the "On Being A Man" program is here:http://www.DoubleYourDatingResources.com/e/10020/OnBeingAMan/ and The Advanced Dating Techniques Program is here:http://www.DoubleYourDatingResources.com/e/10020/AdvancedSeries/ Oh, one more thing... if you haven't downloadeda copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating",then what the hell are you waiting for? You candownload it RIGHT NOW and be reading it within afew minutes. Go download it here:http://www.DoubleYourDatingResources.com/e/10020/eBook/ And by the way, make sure and forward thisemail to a friend and encourage them to sign upfor my free newsletter. They'll appreciate it, andI'll appreciate it. I'll talk to you again in a couple of days. Your Friend, David D.P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphsmax.2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you howwell your stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in different situations.3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of the email. I read these first.4) At the end of the email, give me your initialsand tell me where you're from.5) Send it to me at:SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com ...don't just hit "reply" to this email. Thanks!--------------------------------------------------Copyright 2005 David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. DavidDeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks. Byreading and accepting this newsletter you agree toall of the following: You understand that this issimply a set of opinions (and not advice). This isto be used for entertainment, and not consideredas "professional advice". You are responsible forany use of the information in this email, and holdDavid DeAngelo Marketing Inc. and all members andaffiliates harmless in any claim or event. If youare below eighteen years old, please click thelink at the end, and remove yourself, or to takeyourself off of our list, you can send mail to"DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th Floor LasVegas, NV 89109.

i took the pill

hmmmm

How to ....

“Here’s How To Meet And DateThe Kind Of WomenYou’ve Always Wanted”
I’ll show you the exact steps and specific directions to help you be more successful with women and dating—and you don't have to be rich or handsome to do it...
Dear Friend,
Recently I was out with some friends at a local club. I looked over and saw a very attractive woman. I decided that I'd like to meet her and get her number so I could get a date with her later.
I walked over and said a few words to her. Within about 3 minutes she was writing her name and phone number down for me. Keep in mind, this was at a popular club where she was being hit on all night. And I was the one who got her number.
Other guys buy drinks, dance, and try for hours— and usually wind up with nothing in these types of situations. But I was able to talk to her and get her number almost instantly.
The question is: What did I say to her? How did I do it?
If you would have asked me if this was even possible a few years ago, I would have said "No way." But now I do it ALL THE TIME.
It's not uncommon for me to go out for an afternoon or evening and come home with 3 or 4 phone numbers from attractive, interesting women.
And it doesn't matter where I am. I can go shopping at a mall, out to a nightclub, or even shopping at the super market, and still meet one woman after another. As a matter of fact, my techniques work EVEN BETTER in coffee shops and other 'normal' places.
I have to mention one more thing: I'm a regular guy. I'm 33 years old, I'm only 5'10" tall (short?), and I'm not athletic. I'm a mixture of nationalities, but most people think that I'm Middle Eastern when they first meet me—and I've never been the kind of guy that women approach or ask out.
So how did I go from not even being able to TALK to women to now being able to get phone numbers in 3 minutes and as many dates as I want?
Unfortunately, Most Men Will Never Have This Kind Of Success With Women
I know that you want to be more successful with women. Every guy does. But what do most guys do about it?
Nothing.
They sit back and take whatever they can get—which is usually nothing. Sure, once in awhile most guys have a little luck and meet a girl that will go out with them. But this usually doesn't happen very often.
And just about every guy I've ever talked to would like to have more skills and success when it comes to women. But here's the interesting part: Most guys won't go out and learn how to be successful with women. They just won't do it.
It's as if they had someone say to them when they were young: "You're a loser if you have to learn how to meet women" or "If you're not just acting natural and being yourself then there's something wrong with you."
Well I'm here to tell you that these ideas are B.S.!
You weren't born knowing other skills like how to walk, how to speak English, or how to drive a car. These are basic skills that you LEARNED when you needed them. Success with women is just another skill, and any man can learn it if he wants to.
One night a few years ago, I got sick and tired of not knowing how to meet women. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I couldn't stand the idea that I was going to spend the rest of my life not knowing how to date the kind of women that I wanted.
I went on a personal mission, and spent years reading and studying all of the books, tapes, and seminars on how to be successful with women and relationships. But the frustrating part was that most of what I learned was WRONG—most of it simply didn't work when I tried it!
Have you ever looked at some of the 'relationship' books like “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?” Those books would be great—EXCEPT THAT THEY DON'T TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN!
All most books talk about is what to do after you're already dating a woman. They don't tell you ANYTHING about how to meet and attract women. These books only work if you've already got a girlfriend - they do almost nothing to teach you HOW TO GET ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE! And the books that do teach you how to meet women are mostly old, outdated, or just plain bizarre.
Even worse, there are books out there like "The Rules" that teach women exactly how to manipulate men in order to get them to buy women expensive gifts and marry them by playing mind games.
The sad truth is that most men give up and never have the kind of success that they want with women—they give up and settle for a woman that isn't what they REALLY want—or worse—they settle for no women at all.
It Doesn’t Have To Be This Way!
This is where I come in.
I've spent the last few years learning everything there is to know about MEETING women and about what causes them to feel attracted to men.
For a long time my friends have been watching me date all of these amazing women and saying "You have to write a book... You have to write a book..."
So that's what I've done. I've taken the time to write down everything that I've learned and discovered in my new book in plain, easy-to-understand language. A good friend of mine showed me how to publish the book online and make it available to you for instant download.
The book is called “Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be More Successful With Women”.
I've learned that most men do exactly the WRONG things in most situations with women. In my book, I'll teach you the RIGHT things to do.
If you don't know anything about meeting women, and would like to get this part of your life handled, this book will help you.
If you're already good with women, this book will make you better.
You might want to become a Don Juan who meets new women all the time. You might be looking to meet one special woman. Or attract a particular woman that you've had your eye on. That's fine. Whatever your situation, this book will help you.
By the way, this isn't some repackaged book from the 1970s that's filled with ridiculous ideas and cheesy out-of-date pick-up lines. This book is full of fresh, original ideas all backed by years of my own personal psychological research and my own real world experience learning from scratch. I'm not kidding around with you - I learned all this stuff the hard way. You won't find this kind of information in any other book - I guarantee it.
I've decided to publish this manual only as an 'eBook'... which means that you can download it and start learning these secrets immediately— right from the privacy and comfort of your computer...
Next Page Read Samples
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world's smallest bikini

it was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie ...

Kama Sutra then .... and now, a continuing post come back tomorrow for more

i started hugging, kissing evryting in sight
Love Potion No.9

i took it

Day 69

for more on the art of love go here http://jamboreesexeducation.blogspot.com/2005/12/kamasutra-art-of-love.html
guys, if u need a break
go here http://imnutsincapspjs.blogspot.com/2005/10/i-bet-u-girls-cant-do-dis.html

more on orgasms and stuff
http://imnutsincaps.blogspot.com/2005/07/real-scoop-on-sex.html

http://juliamumbai.blogspot.com/2005/10/crabby-old-woman-in-old-age-home.html#comments

http://imnutsincapstotally.blogspot.com/2005/10/wmd-nuclear-carrier-kitty-hawk-in.html

history of sexuality

The History of Sexuality – About Foucault
Author unknown

Michel Foucault's "The History of Sexuality" pioneered queer theory. In it he builds an argument grounded in a historical analysis of the word "sexuality" against the common thesis that sexuality always has been repressed in Western society.

Quite the contrary: since the 17th century, there has been a fixation with sexuality creating a discourse around sexuality. It is this discourse that has created sexual minorities.

This page only covers the views he presents in "The History of Sexuality".

In "The History of Sexuality", Foucault attempts to disprove the thesis that Western society has seen a repression of sexuality since the 17th century and that sexuality has been unmentionable, something impossible to speak about. In the 70s, when the book was written, the sexual revolution was a fact. The ideas of the psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich, saying that to conserve your mental health you needed to liberate your sexual energy, were popular. The past was seen as a dark age where sexuality had been something forbidden.

Foucault, on the other hand, states that Western culture has long been fixated on sexuality. We call it a repression. Rather, the social convention, not to mention sexuality, has created a discourse around it, thereby making sexuality ubiquitous. This would not have been the case, had it been thought of as something quite natural. The concept "sexuality" itself is a result of this discourse. And the interdictions also have constructive power: they have created sexual identities and a multiplicity of sexualities that would not have existed otherwise.

Confession is the basis of sexuality
Historically, there have been two ways of viewing sexuality, according to Foucault. In China, Japan, India and the Roman Empire have seen it as an "Ars erotica", "erotic art", where sex is seen as an art and a special experience and not something dirty and shameful. It is something to be kept secret, but only because of the view that it would lose its power and its pleasure if spoken about.

In Western society, on the other hand, something completely different has been created, what Foucault calls "scientia sexualis", the science of sexuality. It is originally (17th century) based on a phenomenon diametrically opposed to Ars erotica: the confession. It is not just a question of the Christian confession, but more generally the urge to talk about it. A fixation with finding out the "truth" about sexuality arises, a truth that is to be confessed. It is as if sexuality did not exist unless it is confessed. Foucault writes:

"We have since become an extraordinarily confessing society. Confession has spread its effects far and wide: in the judicial system, in medicine, in pedagogy, in familial relations, in amorous relationships, in everyday life and in the most solemn rituals; crimes are confessed, sins are confessed, thoughts and desires are confessed, one's past and one's dreams are confessed, one's childhood is confessed; one's diseases and problems are confessed;..."

This forms a strong criticism of psychoanalysis, representing the modern, scientific form of confession. Foucault sees psychoanalysis as a legitimization of sexual confession. In it, everything is explained in terms of repressed sexuality and the psychologist becomes the sole interpreter of it. Sexuality is no longer just something people hide, but it is also hidden from themselves, which gives the theological, minute confession a new life.

"Coming out" as a concept did not exist when Foucault wrote "The History of Sexuality", but this process of confessing homosexuality can surely be interpreted as an expression of this urge to confess. There seems to be a compulsion to reveal one's sexuality to confirm its existence in our society. In Ars erotica, a very different view is held, and people are content to let it remain a secret in the positive sense of the word.

The reason sexuality should be confessed is to be found in the Christian view of it. It was not, as it is today, seen as a strong, obvious force, but as something treacherous, something only to be found by careful introspection.

Therefore every detail had to be laid forth in confession; every trace of pleasure experienced had to be examined to find the traces of sin.

In this attention to details the reason sexuality is given such importance in our society is to be found. Making sexuality something sinful did not make it disappear. Quite the contrary: it was reinforced and became something to be noticed everywhere.

Power relations
There was also an element of social control in this. A power relation was created between the preacher and the confessant, between the psychoanalyst and his patient. Power relations are to Foucault central to any analysis of society, and this is especially true for sexuality. Power relations are formed in all relations where differences exist.

What Foucault means by power is not necessarily what is ordinarily meant by the word. It is something ubiquitous and cannot be thought of as dual, as creating a division between those dominating and those being dominated. Power in Foucault's meaning of the word is not an exclusively negative force. He claims that we have had a juridical view of power in our society; we tend to see it as something negative, oppressing, defining what is not to be done. Instead, power is the basis of Foucault's analysis of society. Common power relations related to sexuality are, in addition to the ones mentioned between the one who confesses and the one that receives the confession, those between teacher and pupil, between parent and child, and between doctor and patient.

Sexuality in the 19th century
Thomas Kuhn is a philosopher of the history of science, who claims we should understand how what is now seen as prejudice could be accepted as science.
With enlightenment, the view of sexuality as something sinful to be confessed mutated. It was adapted to modern demands of rationality by turning itself into a science. Foucault makes a strong distinction between what we would still today call science and a prejudicial doctrine on human procreation.

"Comparing these discourses on human sexuality to those from the same epoch on animal and vegetal reproduction, the difference is surprising. Their weak tenability - I won't even say in scientificity, but in elementary logic, places them apart in the history of knowledge."

The doctrines on sexuality postulated several "unnatural" sexual behaviors. In the 16th century, the focus was on regulating the sexuality of the married couple, ignoring other forms of sexual relations, but now other groups were identified: the sexuality of children, criminals, mentally ill and gays.

"The perverse" became a group, instead of an attribute. Sexuality became seen as the core of some peoples' identity. Homosexual relations had been seen as a sin that could be committed from time to time, but now a group of "homosexuals" emerged. Foucault writes: "The sodomite was a recidivist, but the homosexual is now a species."

"The homosexual of the 19th century became a person: a"past, a history and an adolescence, a personality, a life style; also a morphology, with an indiscreet anatomy and possibly a mystical physiology. Nothing of his full personality escapes his sexuality."

Seeing gays as a group is now taken for granted, but before the 18th century the idea would never had occurred to ask the question whether homosexuality is a function of heredity or of upbringing. It was simply not seen as being a fundamental part of the person, but instead as an action, something s/he did.

But homosexuality was not the only object of study for the medical "science".

Foucault identifies four reoccurring themes:
The body of women became sexualized because of its role as a child bearer. The concept "hysteria" was invented and seen as a result of sexual problems.
The pedagogization of the sexuality of children. Children should at all costs be protected from the dangers inherent in masturbation and other sexuality.
The socialization of reproduction. The importance of sexuality for reproduction is recognized and put into context in the study of population growth.

The sexuality of adults becomes an object of study and all forms of "perverse" aberrations are seen as dangers.

Foucault emphasizes that the aim of these new moral codes was not to abolish all forms of sexuality, but instead to preserve health and procreation. Many forms of sexuality were seen as harmful and they wanted to protect health and the purity of the race. A mixture of ideas on population growth, venereal diseases and heredity ("degeneration" was to be avoided) created the idea that many forms of sexual conduct where dangerous.

Constructivism
Now that sexual actions were being identified and their naturalness and healthiness was analyzed, the concept of "sexuality" was created. Foucault comments on the four phenomena mentioned above:

"What are these strategies about? A struggle against sexuality? Or an attempt to control it? ... Actually, it is rather the production of sexuality. It should not be conceived of as a distinction founded in nature that power attempts to subdue, or as a dark domain that knowledge attempts to gradually uncover. It is the name that can be given to a historical measure...

This view makes Foucault one of the first constructivists" in this area, claiming that sexuality and sexual conduct is not a natural category, having a foundation in reality. Instead it is a question of social constructions, categories only having an existence in a society, and that probably are not applicable to other societies than our own.

This is why we should not speak of "homosexuality" in, for example, antique Greece. What we now call homosexuality cannot exist outside our specific cultural context. The same goes for all sexuality. Sexual intercourse is necessary for procreation, but that does not mean that sexuality, comprising and theorizing about all erotic behavior, is a natural or necessary category. Sexuality is more than sexual behavior. The largest part of its meaning lies in its cultural connotations.

It is this view that has given "The History of Sexuality" its significance. For the first time, sexuality is analyzed as a social construction, a perspective making it possible to study the origins and the development of our view of sexuality in a totally new way.

http://www.ipce.info/ipceweb/Library/history_of_sexuality.htm

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The history of women’s sexuality and reproduction has been fraught with issues of control within the context of patriarchy, and in particular within the Judeo/Christian mentality so prevalent within western culture. To understand the reasons for this conflict is to understand both the history and the place of women in western religious history.

The story of conflicts surrounding women’s sexuality and reproduction in western Christian culture can be viewed in regard as having its origins in early Judaic tradition and religious lore, as the roots of Christianity are firmly entrenched in Judaism. Beginning with the creation myth central to both faiths, one finds early on the religious justifications used in the argument for the subjection of women.

It has however been pointed out by feminist scholars of religion that it was in fact Eve who in the Genesis story is the one who debates the moral issues and implications of partaking of the forbidden fruit, and Adam in the narrative is only involved in its consumption. (MacHaffie p. 13).

It is perhaps Eve who is punished the more severely of the two, through forced subjection to her husband Adam (and your desire shall be unto your husband), who it would seem from the story is perhaps not the brightest of the pair. Furthermore, (speaking with a note of sarcasm) to be commanded by God to obey someone to whom you were created as equal does seem a harsh punishment. However, the arguments with regard to Eve’s “temptation” of Adam, which are often it seems based on the assumption that she used her feminine whiles to lure him are totally unfounded as a close reading of the Genesis story reveals. (MacHaffie p. 13).

Hence, the arguments for a woman’s more sexualized nature, as pathways to sin are unfounded, in regard to Eve. It should be noted however, that there are two accounts of the creation myth in Genesis, and there are also two versions of womanhood before the fall from Gods grace, Eve being the better known of the two. Jewish Post-Biblical tradition, which also found its way into early Christian tradition,

(Catholicism in particular) describes another woman, Lilith, as purportedly being the first wife of Adam. It is the story and legend of Lilith, a highly sexualized and independent caricature of womanhood who may in fact be the original culprit, leading to the myth surrounding woman’s “seduction” of man. (Mack and Mack, 1999, p. 200).

However, nowhere in the story of Adam and Eve’s temptation is the use of feminine whiles even implied. Nonetheless, the myth has been perpetuated. Even in more modern times the story of the fall from grace has been taken apart in manners such as that of the psychoanalytical tradition and has been rendered a story of seduction and moral depravity. (Wulff. 1997, p.295).

The advantages to this rationale are plainly visible for the continued propagation of patriarchy as stemming from a supposed Divine right of male over female, and argument for such have been used for millennia. (MacHaffie p. 12). In Christian thought, this was translated into the doctrine of Natural Law by such early Christian thinkers as St. Tomas Aquinas. Although contrary to Christ’s teachings and examples found in the gospels of the equality of women (MacHaffie p. 14-17)

took less than a generation for the early Christian Church to once again bind women under men in a hierarchal manner. Among the earliest Christian thinkers held accountable for this shift are, St. Paul the Apostle, who began to propagate this doctrine within the first generation after Christ. And in successive generations----St. Augustine and St. Tomas Aquinas, whose influence on the formation of Christian theology and doctrine with regard to women’s place within the Church are still hallmarks of the belief structure (Fox, 219), (MacHaffie p.20).

Given the historical context of Christianity and its blossoming from Judaic society, and within Greco-Roman culture, which was patriarchal in nature, one begins to understand how the prevailing cultural norms of the time would eventually reassert themselves into Christianity.

This shift was facilitated by the language used for God, among other things and has been considered fundamental in the propagation of a gendered hierarchy within Christian religious ethos (MacHaffie p.144). Given then the context of the Deity being viewed as masculine, this left no other status for the personification of womanhood as anything less than “other,” a status that early Christian theologians exploited to full advantage, facilitating a gendered hierarchy within Christianity.

Hence, from this perspective it becomes apparent why issues related to women’s sexuality and reproductive choice have become so controversial within contemporary Christianity. Since for the most part Christianity adapted the traditional gender norms of the early societies in which it flourished, and indeed its doctrines are reflective of those, it becomes apparent that traditional Christianity could not survive the dawn of the twentieth-century and the Age of Enlightenment within the old-world gendered norms as it had previously done.

The new view of the enlightened age, spread about by the protestant reformation, held that the individual could indeed be their own moral agent, capable of independent rational thought, and as such less influenced by the body of the Church as a whole. And while applied firstly to men in the new republic (that was to become known as the U.S.), the dynamic of power was to shift toward women, as men left the religious sector in favor of government office with the separation of church and state. (Seat).

As women became aware of the power to assert themselves as moral agents within the new limits of the religious realm, the medieval idea that “Divine Origin” was the cause of societal structure began to shift, and human reason and choice were seen as the expanded criteria whereby societies would be able to govern themselves. There were however, limits to this “enlightened” form of thought, namely that the language of oppression changed from “Devine Law” to “Natural Law,” and as such biological endowment vs. Devine endowment became the catch phrase of the day used to justify the hierarchies of gender and race. In short it was a world that stood on the precipice of the modern age, when reason would dictate and humanities ills would be cured through the application of science made possible by the industrial revolution.

All these dreams however came crashing down with the advent of WWI, which was followed within a generation by WWII, and the predominance of reason faltered. The disappointment that followed was expressed by poignantly by authors of the times such as E. Remarque (1897-1970) in the novel All Quite on the Western Front and J. Hillton’s (1900-1954) works such as Lost Horizon and Random Harvest. (Magill. p.27, 629).

That reason, which Natural Law had found inherent in humankind, stood in question. Mankind, and in particular the male dominated societal structure had failed. Resultant of this was the resurgence of Natural Rights theory of ethics and morality, which briefly stated is such that there is no obligation to the “other” as upheld by Natural Law, only that one not violate the rights of another is all that is required (Bayles & Henley 1989, p. 25).

This stance on morality and ethics would latter give way to what is known as Social Relativism, which confines moral reasoning to the system of beliefs of the society (Bayles & Henley, 1989 p.6). To deal then with the possibilities presented with Social Relativism, societies throughout the world have developed social constructs of moral and ethical behavior as well as the philosophies that theses moral and ethical codes entail. In Western thought the two main divisions being: Natural Law and Natural Rights.

It is from these two differing standpoints that most divisions on morality and normalcy are judged in western social constructs, and the resurgence of Natural Rights, as an ethical framework was to have profound influence for women. Especially those who had contributed immensely to the war efforts, and had gained a taste for independency both economically and socially as a result of labor force participation, it was in this context that post-modern feminist began to come into their own---as a political force to be recognized.

As agents of transformation the women who partook in the early and latter parts of twentieth century feminist movements became aware that they could do no worse than men had, and within less than 30 years of WWII had applied Natural Rights theory of ethics successfully in the argument for control of their own bodies and reproductive processes.

Meanwhile, the Church, which had profited enormously from patriarchy, and in Medieval time had even gained economic advantage from such institutions as the bride price, wherein the inheritance of women’s wealth was passed on to the Catholic Church through the “marriage to Christ”, began to realize more fully the disadvantages of women as free moral agents (Havalind, 1999, p.254).

Women’s role within the Catholic Church had already undergone significant change in that they were now accepted as full members in Christ, yet within the religious hierarchy they remained second-class citizens. Women’s primary role as described by Pope Paul VI in Humane Vitae (25 July 1968) was still that of supporting a male dominated Church Theological body and the breeding of successive generations of male leaders.

Furthermore, it held that there was no higher calling for women than motherhood, and that to engage in reproductive control measures other than the natural or rhythm method was an affront to Christian morality and the commands of God.In short the Catholic Church had usurped the power of Natural law theory and applied it as a means of further subjecting women.

The Catholic Church’s position on women’s place with regard to voice and position in the Church was further ratified by Pope John Paul II in his apostolic letter Mulieris Dignitatem which held that there was no higher calling for women than motherhood and as such it was the duty of Catholic women not to seek office in the Church---this at a time when other branches of Christianity were opening the clerical offices of ministry to women. Instead the Catholic Church chose to stress the “complementary” versus equal view of men and women (Fox, p. 238,242).

Shussler Fiorenza was among the prominent voices to proclaim dissent with the church’s policy in regards to the issue of women’s procreative choice she argued that in the end “Any moral teaching on abortion must be shaped by the concern for ‘justice, mercy and faith’” (Fox, p. 222). Her argument against the Catholic Church’s eschewment of procreative choice, was similar to Beverly Harrison, who stated that:
"The problem, then, is that Christian theology celebrates the power of human freedom to shape and determine the quality of human life except when the issue of procreative choice arises […] In contrast, a feminist theological approach recognizes that nothing is more urgent, in light of changing circumstances of human beings on planet Earth, than to recognize that the entire natural-historical context of human procreative power has shifted"(Harrison. p.188, 119).

This alone presents moral and ethical problems for the theory of Natural Law when applied toward the principle of “Future Generations.” Whereas, in the past high infant mortality rates required that a woman produce many offspring if some were to reach adulthood, this is no longer the case. Instead we are faced globally with an ever-increasing population, which is fast stretching the available resource allocations of the planet.

As such the moral argument with regards to procreative choice has far reaching applications in that the question arises “is it better that there be more people who are slightly less happy or fewer people who are more happy?” (Bayles & Henley. 1989, p.343). In addition, what of the implications of starvation, which already face millions? Might it not be morally more sound to provide procreative choice, thereby enabling women who elect not to breed the ability to focus their energies elsewhere than in the mere propagation of their own genetic line and instead allow them to focus on their own and societal issues at large? What implication does the control over women’s bodies with regard to the Catholic Church’s stance on procreative choice hold for the moral culpability of the institution at large in the future?

The problems which are of course inherent to the debate over abortion stem not from a incongruence in moral principle with regards to the issue, yet rather from the ethical principles shared by both sides of the debate with regard to human dignity and life (Harrison. p. 99).

Thus, “Focusing attention away from the single act of abortion to the larger historical context thrusts into relief what ‘respect for human life’ means in the pro-choice position”(Harrison. p.131). The question then arises as to how one goes about responsibly in regards to the issue. Is it through education as some have argued, or through the changing of certain religious gender norms, which view women’s fulfillment as by nature the primarily empowering force of their lives, vis-à-vis their procreative power, and if such is the case what are the implications for the religious structures that support a gender hierarchy? (Harrison. P.134).

Change as a constant, is inevitable, this leaves only the question as to how individuals, and societies will cope with these issues. As Justice Blackmun eloquently put it when he delivered the opinion of the Supreme Court in Roe v. Wade, 410 U.S. 113 (1973):

“We forthwith acknowledge our awareness of the sensitivity and emotional nature of the abortion controversy, of the vigorous opposing views, even among physicians, and the deep and seemingly absolute convictions that the subject inspires. One’s philosophy, one’s experiences, one’s exposure to the raw edges of human existence, one’s religious training, one’s attitudes toward life and family and their values, and the moral standards one establishes and seeks to observe, are all likely to influence and to color one’s thinking and conclusions about abortion “ (Roe v. Wade).


ReferencesFox. Sexuality and Catholicism. Class notes: REL/WS 324. University of Arizona. Spring 2003.Magill, Frank N. (ed.) (1963). Cyclopaedia of Literary Characters. New York: Harper & Roe.Harrison. Making the connections. “Theology and Morality of Procreative Choice.” Class notes: REL/WS 324. University of Arizona. Spring 2003. Havalind, William A. (1999). Cultural Anthropology. (9th. Ed.). New York: Harcourt Brace College Publishers.MacHaffie. Her Story. “Agents of Transformation.” Class notes: REL/WS 324. University of Arizona. Spring 2003. Mack, Carol and Dinah Mack. (1999). A Field Guide to Demons. New York: Owl Books.Roe v. Wade. Roe v. Wade, 410 U.S. 113 (1973). 11/18/01 Seat TARGET=" getcase.pl?court='us&vol=410&invol=113">http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=us&vol=410&invol=113http:>Seat, Karen. (2003). Lecture 2/13/03. REL/WS 324. University of Arizona. Spring 2003. Wulff, David M. (1997). Psychology of Religion: Classic and Contemporary. (2nd. Ed.). New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.