>If you'd like to see all of my differentprograms... each one designed to help you learnhow to meet and attract women better... and evensee video clips from each of them... then take aminute and go check THIS out:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//Catalog/?cid=3PZZZ3&lid=1&sbid=2571750
***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***
Dave, Why is it that a woman who is onlyinterested in the funny, cocky and challenging(i.e., interesting) men, later in life tries toraise sons that are sweet, thoughtful and "nice"?(i.e., run of the mill)!! WS New York
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a VERY interesting question, and I'mglad you emailed me to ask it.
I'm going to give you my personal take on this.But, more importantly, I'm going to talk about howthese kinds of paradoxes exist right in plainsight all around us... and how to interpret themso you can increase your own personal success withwomen and dating.
So, to answer your question first...
I've spent a lot of time researching thistopic, and doing a lot of personal testing to seeif I could find some answers.
Right now, as I write this, I think that itgoes like this:
"Being Nice" in the way that you're describing,usually means things like: giving compliments,buying gifts, providing food, doing favors,tolerating emotional manipulation, pretending tobe in a good mood even if you're not, etc.
I believe that this is mostly a SOCIALLY andCULTURALLY CONSTRUCTED set of "rules". There maybe some "hard wiring" in us that makes us"naturally" want to do nice things for women sothey'll give us approval, but I think it's mostlyPROGRAMMED into us...
Now, think about it this way: These "nice"things are typically very FEMININE things to do...
So, what's a mom in today's culture going toteach her son?
Of course... how to be "nice" to girls.
And, what if there's no dad around to help outin the "training" of a son? You guessed it... evenMORE "nice" programming from mom.
The bottom line is that most of the peoplewalking around on this planet have NO IDEA howATTRACTION works, and therefore will never be ableto TEACH another person how this fabulous processworks.
This includes mothers. Mom loved you and wantedthe best for you, she just had no idea how toexplain what makes women feel ATTRACTION. Mom mayhave gotten the tingles when she saw ClintEastwood shooting everyone... and Neil Diamondrunning around with his sneer, hairy chest andthat pickle in his jeans... (and that remindsme... EWWWWWW... your mom is gross, dude).
But, this doesn't mean that she can or wouldexplain to her boy how to make this happen withother women!
Check this out: If you would like to learn myown PERSONAL secrets for how to overcome thisproblem of not knowing how to become a man whoNATURALLY attracts women, then you should go hereNOW:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//OnBeingAMan/?cid=3PZZZ3&lid=2&sbid=2571750
OK. Let's talk about what we can actually LEARNfrom this kind of phenomenon.
The thing that really fascinates me aboutpeople is THEIR ABILITY TO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'SGOING ON... even though it's going on IN PLAINSIGHT ALL AROUND THEM... and the even MORE amazingtendency to ARGUE VIOLENTLY WHEN one of theseOBVIOUS THINGS IS PRESENTED TO THEM.
I've read some fascinating books about theconcept of "self-deception", and I've come torealize that we humans have an amazing capacityfor not seeing what's there... to the point whereit can be very bad for us.
Like I just said, we often ARGUE about thingsthat are OBVIOUS to others... which makes it evenworse.
I need to stop ranting and raving, and land theplane on this one...
This mechanism is, of course, a survivalmechanism that helps us to weed out all of theuseless information that's coming in through oursenses at any given time, but it can go overboardand prevent us from seeing USEFUL information aswell.
Next Point: A lot of our cultural and socialprogramming is "off-base" to some degree, whichcauses us to see things and interpret thingsincorrectly when we do see them.
Finally, we humans don't like to change ourbeliefs about things. We don't like to admit thatwe might be wrong in the first place, and we feelunstable or insecure when we realize that afundamental truth we have held all our life isincorrect.
Lump all of this together, and you have momswho teach their sons the "proper" way to act andmen who have NO IDEA how to be successful withwomen... and then women who REALLY get upset whenyou actually start teaching men what WORKS toattract women (for more evidence of this, justread some of these newsletters I'm sending you!)
Wow, I'm really going on an unusuallyintellectual rant today! Nice. This is making mefeel pretty smart... I think I'll keep it up...
So, what's all this information good for?
Well, to start off, I think that it's importantin life to continually question YOUR OWN beliefsabout how things work and what is possible.
I think it's also good to constantly questionyour LIMITING beliefs.
Unfortunately, most people do the opposite...they question their ability to succeed and theydoubt their own ability to get what they want.
Most people constantly "self-sabotage"themselves.
If instead, you question your LIMITATIONS andyour LIMITING BELIEFS, and you constantly lookwith your own eyes to see if there's somethinggoing on that nobody mentioned to you, then you'llbegin to see things that will blow your mind.
It took me about 4 or 5 years to realize thatATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE. But as soon as I sayit, you can immediately get what I'm talkingabout, and maybe even have a profound realizationthat will lead to success.
The phrase "Attraction Isn't A Choice" makesyou have the "ah ha" that you can't make a womanfeel attraction for you by CONVINCING her... soyou STOP.
Now, I didn't figure this out by having someoneTELL it to me. I figured it out by questioning thethings I was hearing, and by following my ownintuition that there was a SOLUTION to this puzzlecalled "women and dating".
So, here's a "home work" assignment for you:
1 - Write down all of the things that SHOULD workwhen it comes to making women feel attracted toyou. This might include buying gifts and food,giving constant compliments, and acting "nice".
2 - Write down your own personal experience ofwhat ACTUALLY HAPPENS when you do these "sociallycorrect things that mom taught you" with women.
3 - Pretend for a moment that everything you'vebeen taught about women is wrong. Furthermore,pretend that women are actually wired in REVERSE.If this were true, what kinds of things wouldresult in a woman feeling ATTRACTION for a man?
Does this open up some new possibilities foryou?
I invite you to question "common sense" and"what your mother taught you" about women.
I also invite you to come and learn some of theVERY ILLOGICAL, YET INCREDIBLY POWERFUL techniquesthat I've learned, developed, refined, anddescribed in my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVDprogram.
The ideas that I've just discussed are part ofwhat I consider to be the "Inner Game" of datingsuccess.
Most guys spend almost NO time working on theirInner Game... instead, they spend time learningthings like "pick up lines" and other almostUSELESS stuff.
If you don't have your "Inner Game" together,you'll never be effective with "techniques andtricks".
In my Advanced Dating Techniques program, Ispend several HOURS teaching you one Inner Gametechnique after another... showing you how toovercome fear, improve your self image and selfesteem... and get past limiting beliefs that stopyou from even TRYING to meet women.
If you're like me, and you've had a lot ofnegative programming earlier in life, then youMUST get that stuff handled. It's not going tohandle itself... YOU have to do it.
And this program will show you EXACTLY how.
Oh... and it will also teach you TONS of great"in the field" techniques for approaching women,starting conversations, getting dates, meetingwomen online, and taking things to a "physical"level smoothly and easily... without rejection.
Not too long ago I put up a bunch of new samplevideo clips... and you should go watch them rightnow. They're here:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//AdvancedSeries/?cid=3PZZZ3&lid=3&sbid=2571750
And if you haven't downloaded your copy of myonline eBook, "Double Your Dating", then you needto go and do that RIGHT NOW. You can download itand be reading it in just a few minutes from now.Just go here:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//eBook/?cid=3PZZZ3&lid=4&sbid=2571750
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. Hey, don't forget to take some time to lookthrough all of my different DVD/CD programs. Youcan see them all, plus watch video clips of all ofthem in this one handy place:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//Catalog/?cid=3PZZZ3&lid=5&sbid=2571750
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//Catalog/?cid=3PZZZ3&lid=1&sbid=2571750
***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***
Dave, Why is it that a woman who is onlyinterested in the funny, cocky and challenging(i.e., interesting) men, later in life tries toraise sons that are sweet, thoughtful and "nice"?(i.e., run of the mill)!! WS New York
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a VERY interesting question, and I'mglad you emailed me to ask it.
I'm going to give you my personal take on this.But, more importantly, I'm going to talk about howthese kinds of paradoxes exist right in plainsight all around us... and how to interpret themso you can increase your own personal success withwomen and dating.
So, to answer your question first...
I've spent a lot of time researching thistopic, and doing a lot of personal testing to seeif I could find some answers.
Right now, as I write this, I think that itgoes like this:
"Being Nice" in the way that you're describing,usually means things like: giving compliments,buying gifts, providing food, doing favors,tolerating emotional manipulation, pretending tobe in a good mood even if you're not, etc.
I believe that this is mostly a SOCIALLY andCULTURALLY CONSTRUCTED set of "rules". There maybe some "hard wiring" in us that makes us"naturally" want to do nice things for women sothey'll give us approval, but I think it's mostlyPROGRAMMED into us...
Now, think about it this way: These "nice"things are typically very FEMININE things to do...
So, what's a mom in today's culture going toteach her son?
Of course... how to be "nice" to girls.
And, what if there's no dad around to help outin the "training" of a son? You guessed it... evenMORE "nice" programming from mom.
The bottom line is that most of the peoplewalking around on this planet have NO IDEA howATTRACTION works, and therefore will never be ableto TEACH another person how this fabulous processworks.
This includes mothers. Mom loved you and wantedthe best for you, she just had no idea how toexplain what makes women feel ATTRACTION. Mom mayhave gotten the tingles when she saw ClintEastwood shooting everyone... and Neil Diamondrunning around with his sneer, hairy chest andthat pickle in his jeans... (and that remindsme... EWWWWWW... your mom is gross, dude).
But, this doesn't mean that she can or wouldexplain to her boy how to make this happen withother women!
Check this out: If you would like to learn myown PERSONAL secrets for how to overcome thisproblem of not knowing how to become a man whoNATURALLY attracts women, then you should go hereNOW:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//OnBeingAMan/?cid=3PZZZ3&lid=2&sbid=2571750
OK. Let's talk about what we can actually LEARNfrom this kind of phenomenon.
The thing that really fascinates me aboutpeople is THEIR ABILITY TO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'SGOING ON... even though it's going on IN PLAINSIGHT ALL AROUND THEM... and the even MORE amazingtendency to ARGUE VIOLENTLY WHEN one of theseOBVIOUS THINGS IS PRESENTED TO THEM.
I've read some fascinating books about theconcept of "self-deception", and I've come torealize that we humans have an amazing capacityfor not seeing what's there... to the point whereit can be very bad for us.
Like I just said, we often ARGUE about thingsthat are OBVIOUS to others... which makes it evenworse.
I need to stop ranting and raving, and land theplane on this one...
This mechanism is, of course, a survivalmechanism that helps us to weed out all of theuseless information that's coming in through oursenses at any given time, but it can go overboardand prevent us from seeing USEFUL information aswell.
Next Point: A lot of our cultural and socialprogramming is "off-base" to some degree, whichcauses us to see things and interpret thingsincorrectly when we do see them.
Finally, we humans don't like to change ourbeliefs about things. We don't like to admit thatwe might be wrong in the first place, and we feelunstable or insecure when we realize that afundamental truth we have held all our life isincorrect.
Lump all of this together, and you have momswho teach their sons the "proper" way to act andmen who have NO IDEA how to be successful withwomen... and then women who REALLY get upset whenyou actually start teaching men what WORKS toattract women (for more evidence of this, justread some of these newsletters I'm sending you!)
Wow, I'm really going on an unusuallyintellectual rant today! Nice. This is making mefeel pretty smart... I think I'll keep it up...
So, what's all this information good for?
Well, to start off, I think that it's importantin life to continually question YOUR OWN beliefsabout how things work and what is possible.
I think it's also good to constantly questionyour LIMITING beliefs.
Unfortunately, most people do the opposite...they question their ability to succeed and theydoubt their own ability to get what they want.
Most people constantly "self-sabotage"themselves.
If instead, you question your LIMITATIONS andyour LIMITING BELIEFS, and you constantly lookwith your own eyes to see if there's somethinggoing on that nobody mentioned to you, then you'llbegin to see things that will blow your mind.
It took me about 4 or 5 years to realize thatATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE. But as soon as I sayit, you can immediately get what I'm talkingabout, and maybe even have a profound realizationthat will lead to success.
The phrase "Attraction Isn't A Choice" makesyou have the "ah ha" that you can't make a womanfeel attraction for you by CONVINCING her... soyou STOP.
Now, I didn't figure this out by having someoneTELL it to me. I figured it out by questioning thethings I was hearing, and by following my ownintuition that there was a SOLUTION to this puzzlecalled "women and dating".
So, here's a "home work" assignment for you:
1 - Write down all of the things that SHOULD workwhen it comes to making women feel attracted toyou. This might include buying gifts and food,giving constant compliments, and acting "nice".
2 - Write down your own personal experience ofwhat ACTUALLY HAPPENS when you do these "sociallycorrect things that mom taught you" with women.
3 - Pretend for a moment that everything you'vebeen taught about women is wrong. Furthermore,pretend that women are actually wired in REVERSE.If this were true, what kinds of things wouldresult in a woman feeling ATTRACTION for a man?
Does this open up some new possibilities foryou?
I invite you to question "common sense" and"what your mother taught you" about women.
I also invite you to come and learn some of theVERY ILLOGICAL, YET INCREDIBLY POWERFUL techniquesthat I've learned, developed, refined, anddescribed in my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVDprogram.
The ideas that I've just discussed are part ofwhat I consider to be the "Inner Game" of datingsuccess.
Most guys spend almost NO time working on theirInner Game... instead, they spend time learningthings like "pick up lines" and other almostUSELESS stuff.
If you don't have your "Inner Game" together,you'll never be effective with "techniques andtricks".
In my Advanced Dating Techniques program, Ispend several HOURS teaching you one Inner Gametechnique after another... showing you how toovercome fear, improve your self image and selfesteem... and get past limiting beliefs that stopyou from even TRYING to meet women.
If you're like me, and you've had a lot ofnegative programming earlier in life, then youMUST get that stuff handled. It's not going tohandle itself... YOU have to do it.
And this program will show you EXACTLY how.
Oh... and it will also teach you TONS of great"in the field" techniques for approaching women,starting conversations, getting dates, meetingwomen online, and taking things to a "physical"level smoothly and easily... without rejection.
Not too long ago I put up a bunch of new samplevideo clips... and you should go watch them rightnow. They're here:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//AdvancedSeries/?cid=3PZZZ3&lid=3&sbid=2571750
And if you haven't downloaded your copy of myonline eBook, "Double Your Dating", then you needto go and do that RIGHT NOW. You can download itand be reading it in just a few minutes from now.Just go here:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//eBook/?cid=3PZZZ3&lid=4&sbid=2571750
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. Hey, don't forget to take some time to lookthrough all of my different DVD/CD programs. Youcan see them all, plus watch video clips of all ofthem in this one handy place:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//Catalog/?cid=3PZZZ3&lid=5&sbid=2571750
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