Turning A Female "Friend" Into A Lover

>>>QUICK NOTE: If you'd like to read the story ofhow I went from not even being able to start aconversation with a woman to being able to meetwomen in every type of situation... plus watchgreat video clips of every one of my differentdating programs, then check this out:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/Catalog
***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hi Dave,
Kind of an 'almost but not quite' success storybut compared to how I used to be it feels like amiracle. Yes, in the past I was ultimate wussy boybut then I got the ebook and began to change. (I'm20 and glad I found this out now!) Always hadplenty of female friends but I was the therapist,nothing more. And as I'm sure many guys who arereading this know, it makes you feel like crap.Anyway, by coincidence, I moved to another cityfor work, just as I got the ebook. This meant thatI really had a fresh start. By another piece offortune I got very lucky: I met that rare womanwho has her act together FIRST TIME. Yeah, Iknow. The first woman I meet EVER whilst tryingto be C+F, get my body language right, keep eyecontact and not be a wuss and she's the one who'sgot her act together big style. I've alwayspicked things up really quickly (got to have somegood points when you only weigh 130lbs haha!) andso just tried to stay cool for as long as I could,mainly for the learning experience. And Dave,thanks to reading your book day in and day out,combined with the emails, I have done better thanI EVER thought I would. I still remember theawesome feeling when she first started calling meto do stuff (rather than the millions of otherguys who were always hanging around her, kissingher ass.) Or how I would bust on her amongst ourgroup of friends and she would come right back atme with an ever cockier and funnier comment andall the guys would stare at me as if I was crazyto say this stuff to her. They then proceeded tosay how unfair life must be because she is singleand to not take my comments to heart because sheis beautiful ...yuck, wussies!
So to the crunch. One night when this girl and Iwere out pubbing and clubbing and battling eachother with our wits and building lots of tension(so much fun) she opened up a bit and told methat she had never met anyone like me and that Iwas cool. All the cues that you said would happenif you do the right things. Inside I was like"WOW!" but I didn't show it and just told her thather compliments and looking at me like a piece ofmeat wasn't going to get her anywhere - she's agreat friend! By the end of the night she wasasking me the odds of us having sex within thenext few weeks. Now here's where I've got to holdmy hands up and risk your written wrath. In thatmoment, this was the ONLY time I have ever been awuss with her. I'm a virgin and even though Ifancy her like mad, I know at present I couldn'tsatisfy a woman like that (limiting belief I know,but true!) I haven't got the skill yet and then Irealised that I had failed to plan ahead. Damn.And I could hardly turn around and say "Hey, I'm avirgin wuss who has never had sex! Teach me?"Instead, as my answer I just smirked a little in apoor attempt to look composed but I wasted a bigopportunity to amplify what was there; instead Ijust dissipated all the tension by being a prick.She appeared to let me off though and the next fewweeks were a C+F fun-fest again. I still playedit cool, no chasing, no clinging, no insecurity.Then our mutual friends started telling me to askher for more. Even her best female friend saidthat we should be together because we get on sowell. I remembered an email you sent saying thatif you meet someone you REALLY like then sometimeyou're going to have to take the chance and tellthem. So when we were alone at another party acouple of weeks later, I told her that we shouldget together. Here's the messed up part: she saidthat I was the best guy she'd ever met and thatshe didn't want to enter a relationship with mebecause every guy she has ever gone out with she'sended up hurting. She said that she never wantedto hurt me and wanted to know me forever. Andthat if we stayed best friends forever, withoutcomplications, we would have something great forlife and not a quick fling followed by nevertalking again. She also said that she loved theway that I stand up to her and don't kiss her asslike most other guys. So, a lot of tears later(from her), hugs, kisses and plenty of apologiesand I was left to wonder if my one error of sexualwussiness had cost me in the worst possible way. Ibelieve this to be true because I know that if awoman feels attraction for a man, then nothingelse matters. Her friendship logic wouldn't matterif she "felt it" for me would it? I'm so pissedoff at myself for messing up (always been aperfectionist, have to get everything right firsttime!) However, she has surprised me in that shehasn't run for the hills - she must've meant whatshe said. Reason being because not only are westill hanging out, but she sent me a Valentinescard (I sent her nothing) and just last weekinvited me over to her place alone where shecooked for me. I'm still playing it by yourteachings Dave but I'm at a complete loss. I likeher a hell of a lot and am really fighting thewuss urge. I still bust on her, we still flirt, Idon't call her a s much as she calls me and Ihaven't shared any feelings with her since thatnight. I'm trying to stay cool man! Don't bitchslap or berate me too hard, I've already done itmany times myself (and will continue to do so,until I GET IT! I am not going to give this up!)So after this damned long essay that says I'vegone on for too long (I've kept it to 2 paragraphsthough - albeit by cheating the rules ofgrammar...) I have two questions: 1) Is there anyhope of turning this around? I know I should moveon but how long will it take me to find anotherreally exceptional woman that I get on so wellwith? It seems like I'm so close but just haven'tquite got the skill to haul myself over the finishline and it's very frustrating! 2) Where can Iget a good education on how to make love to awoman? This is my final concern with women, Ibelieve. And when the time comes, should I admitmy lack of inexperience? (No amount of theory canmake up for lack of practice!)
Cheers Dave, without your teachings I would never,ever have gotten this far.
M, United Kingdom.
P.S. She did your pocket a favor by turning medown - it prompted me to buy the CD series. Inthe long run, I guess she did me a favor too:it's awesome so far. ***End of blatant plug***
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, first of all I want to CONGRATULATE youon a great job with this girl.
You did all the right things, and you'veobviously paid attention to what you've learned. Ihave a lot of respect for you for both DOINGSOMETHING to improve yourself, and for getting outthere and using the materials.
You should be congratulating yourself, notbeating yourself up.
I'M the one who gives the verbal beatings here,not you, remember?
I think the real problem you're running intohere is that you've put too much importance onthis one situation, and by doing that you'vecreated "tunnel vision" for yourself. I'm sureyou've heard me talk about this a lot.
From now on, don't get so hung up on aparticular woman that you're not even"technically" involved with. It's asking foremotional trouble... and it's a pain.
So, let's talk about this particularsituation...
I'd like to share with you a thought to setthis up. It's a thought that might not go over sowell with a lot of people (especially women). But,I believe it to be true, so I'm going to put itout there.
Remember, this is a generalization, and not acold, hard fact... it's true MOST of the time. Youhave to use your own judgment in each situation.
Now that the disclaimer is over, here's thedeal:
If you meet a woman (especially a sharp,attractive woman who's intelligent), and you startdoing all of those wonderful things that spark andamplify the ATTRACTION present in the situation,you must KEEP MOVING FORWARD, or you'll loseeverything you've built.
What I'm trying to say is that if you don'ttake things to a physical level quickly aftercreating all of this sexual tension, it willeventually go away, and you'll be left with just"friend" material.
I know that you've never been with a womansexually, so I can understand why you hesitated.But you must still remember what I said.
The rule of thumb is: If you're going to sparkand amplify attraction with a woman, you need tocontinue on to the next level SOON... or you'regoing to probably lose it.
When you just tease a woman, bust on her, gether all wired up and excited about you... thenDON'T MOVE FORWARD PHYSICALLY, it's a let down.
Basically, the woman you're with has a firstimpression of you that says "This guy is sexy andattractive," but when you don't continue forwardon a physical level, she starts to think "Uh Oh,he's either not interested in me 'in that way',he's gay, or he's seeing someone else," etc.
If you want to be "friends" with a woman, it'seasy. Don't do anything.
If you don't make any "moves", don't try tokiss her, and don't confidently lead in a physicalway, a woman will only think of you as a "friend".
Even if there is attraction based onpersonality, it's going to disappear if you don'tcross over into the physical realm.
99% of the time, she's NOT going to be the oneto make the first moves... it's just not going tohappen. YOU have to do it.
***NOTE***
Before I give you tips on how to solve thisproblem, you might want to check out my "DeepInner Game" program. It will absolutely help youovercome some of the more "psychological"challenges you're facing. You can go see videosamples and check it out here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/DeepInnerGame
Onward...
The real keys here are:
1) Knowing WHAT to do to proceed in each situation
2) Knowing WHEN to proceed in each situation
3) Knowing HOW to proceed in each situation... ina way that is smooth and natural... and thatdoesn't get you "rejected"
You've got the benefit of having my eBook andmy Advanced Dating Techniques Program. I recommendthat you check out the bonus booklet that camewith "Double Your Dating" called "Sex Secrets,"and use that material IMMEDIATELY.
Also, you'll learn a lot of great ideas in thelast few discs of my Advanced Series.
Let me cover a few basics here.
First of all, it's OK that you're a virgin.
It's no big deal. You're making it intosomething bigger than it is by freaking out aboutit.
I'll break the news to you:
SHE ONLY CARES HOW SHE FEELS, NOT WHAT YOURPAST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE IS.
If you can make her FEEL good, game over.
You're obviously a guy who can pay attentionand learn things. Spend a day at the bookstore,and go to the "sexuality" section. Read forawhile. You'll learn everything you need to knowto get past your "first time" just fine.
And, by the way, if you run into a problem...like "performance anxiety" or nervousness or justbeing uncomfortable naked around a woman... that'sOK, too. If you reach a point that starts to freakyou out too much, just lean back and stop for alittle while. One of the GREAT things about theprocess of getting a woman turned on is that it'smuch more powerful for her if you DO stop andstart... move two steps forward, and one stepback.
You don't need to say, "Hey, I realize thatwe're both naked in bed here and we should bemaking love, but I'm a virgin... and on top ofthat, I can't get it up." No no nooooo....
Just kick back. If you have to, just call it anight.
The KEY is that you have to at least PROGRESSphysically with her. Explained differently, youdon't necessarily have to go "all the way," butyou do have to get pretty far down the field...and keep going a little farther each time... ifyou want to keep the attraction building.
I have another secret to share with you...
Most guys suck in bed. And I don't mean that ina good way. And no, I'm not talking fromexperience.
I have known, interviewed, and received emailsfrom a lot of women. I know the deal. Most womenare not very happy about what happens in thebedroom.
If you do just the things I've laid out for youin the ebook and Advanced Series, and then youtotally blow it and are the worst lover the worldhas ever known, she'll still have a GREATexperience with you... because MOST of it willhave been fantastic for her.
Using the physical techniques... ways oftouching, ways of getting her physically turned onand amplifying her arousal, that you've learned inthe materials, will get a woman so turned on thatjust about ANY kind of sexual interaction will befine with her.
lol... and by the way, the next time a womanlooks at you and asks, "What do you think the oddsof us having sex within the next few weeksare?"... you need to look her right in the eye andsay:
"Sex? Hell, I don't even know if you know how tokiss."
...then lean over and kiss her.
When you're finished, pull away (you stop thekiss before she does), look back at her, and say:
"Hmm, I'll have to get back to you about the sexpart."
...and if you're reading this right now, andyou want to know how in the hell a 130 pound ex-wussy therapist boy can change his ways and have awoman asking him if he thinks they're going tohave sex soon, then I'd recommend doing what HEdid...
Get yourself a copy of my eBook "Double YourDating," and get yourself a copy of my AdvancedDating Techniques CD or DVD program. It's taken meyears to figure this stuff out, and you can tryall of it at NO RISK. You've got nothing tolose... except your inability to meet women...
The eBook is here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook
The Advanced Dating Techniques Program is here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.