In the last week, I saw the most attractive woman I perhaps ever have. She was a 9.5 on my scale, which is truly rare to find forme. Not just in looks, but a great personality.Instead of giving in to my normal habits, I applied the methods you taught. We went out to a club, and had a great time. I had another friend of mine there, and I used him as a means to partially ignore her at times, constantly making jokes that were just too quiet for her to hear,and looking at her and smiling when doing it. She constantly wanted to know what was funny, yet she wasn't mad, just shyly curious. I was aloof, yet not terribly too distant from her. I would wander off by myself, knowing she was with my friend, and leave them hanging alone for a little while now and then. (I knew my friend wasn't going to hit onher). I would go up to other girls and whisper something in their ear right in front of her, to give her the idea that I was completely comfortable in my own skin with women. Once, on my way back from the dance floor, I found her with some other guy. I flashed a sly little smile, but kept on walking right by, as if to imply "You have a good time there. I could care less. As a matter of fact, you look a tad pathetic coming on to him." She soon returned and said that I had been gone too long, and some guy had "dragged her awayfrom me". That night, I had resisted the urge to act like anything but the kind of man you would teach someone to be. All urges at wussness were disregarded, and I played the part to a tee. Eventhough it didn't entirely feel normal or comfortable at first, I could see that it was definitely working, so I kept it up. I would occasionally catch her staring at me from the corner of my eye, sometimes for 2 or 3 seconds. I didn't react, but just kept saying to myself"Damn. David has been right the whole time".
I woke up the next morning with a weird feeling...this was something I had never achieved before. Idon't mean sex with a woman soon after I met her,but the fact that she was so damn gorgeous. Atthe risk of sounding a little chauvinistic, shewas the best girl I have ever had. Well, over thenext two weeks or so, I kept coming over and doingthings during the days with her and staying atnight. This is when things began to change.
You had a timeless question from a guy once whosaid something like "After I sleep with a womanwhy do I feel like hating her?" Well, I normallyfeel the same. But with this girl, it wasdifferent. I wanted to keep her. But, the moretime we spent together, the more we started toboth feel like whatever I sparked was fadingquick. I could see the thrill of our initialmeeting was dying, and I wanted to add to my imagein her mind the idea that I could be a part of herdaily life too, not just the nighttime party one.
I felt like I had to show her something thatproved I didn't just want her for sex. I knew Icouldn't let her interpret it as me buying herattention or body, although I'm afraid that mayhave been exactly what I did. I ended uppurchasing her and her roommate a full stock ofgroceries, which they definitely needed. It gaveme some kind of a sense that I had shown that Iwas more than just a sex buddy, which really feltgood to me. However, lately she has pulled away.We will still go out and have a good time, butmore like friends, with only a little flirting.She now refuses sex, saying "it would complicatethings." By the way, although she has been inlong-term relationships since she was 16, shecurrently isn't, and seems to be enjoying theparty life a lot. She is 22 now. I know you saidin your audio series that it is a mistake to tryto tie down a party girl, but she told me of herlong-term history with guys, and that's why Itried. Did I screw up by getting too close toofast? Was it unrealistic for me to show that kindof attention to her needs that quick or at all?How many times should a guy see a girl each weekif he wants to keep up the attraction and have agreat time, but not become too familiar to her?
Thanks man.
Confused, -J
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, I feel your pain.
I'm sure that just about every man alive canidentify with this story in one way or another...even if it doesn't involve a woman that you'ddescribe as a "9.5".
So, let's talk about the situation you're in,what happened at first, and what to do now...
First of all, congratulations on the fact thatyou were able to make this kind of success happenin the first place!
You're doing great, and I know how good itfeels to have this kind of success with a reallyattractive woman.
It sounds like you're really starting to "getit" at a deep level. The more you continue tostudy the materials you have (especially the CDSeries) the more you'll understand how to attractthese UNUSUALLY attractive women... and moreimportantly, KEEP THEM ATTRACTED.
Let's review a few of my main concepts, and howthey apply to this situation...
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE
Explained differently, a woman doesn'tCONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE to feel attracted to a man.
A woman also doesn't consciously choose to STOPher attraction for a man.
It happens for reasons that seem very illogicalto most men.
The things you were doing when you first metthis girl were EXACTLY the right things forcreating this wonderful feeling of ATTRACTIONinside of her.
And she obviously enjoyed it tremendously.
You mentioned that you didn't feel totallycomfortable at first, but since it was obviousthat she was becoming more and more interested inyou, you kept going... which led to you gettingtogether with her.
But, remember the flip side: If you start doingthe WRONG things, the woman will LOSE herATTRACTION for you as well. And it will happen ALLBY ITSELF. The worst part is that you can'tlogically convince her to keep feeling attractedto you. If you screw it up, you're probably goingto screw it up to a point that is almostimpossible to fix.
More of the "psychology" of creating andamplifying attraction is here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AttractionBook
GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU
What do most guys do as soon as they meet aREALLY HOT, ultra-attractive woman?
Of course! They call three times a day, andwant to see her all the time.
Attractive women know better than to do this.
When an attractive woman meets a man she likes,she usually PLAYS HARD TO GET. Instead of calling,she acts like she's BUSY.
This makes the man try even harder, and pursueher even more...
It sounds like you did exactly the opposite.
In your email here you say:
"Well, over the next two weeks or so, I keptcoming over and doing things during the days withher and staying at night. This is when thingsbegan to change..."
No no no!
Over the next two weeks you should have calledher every few days, and seen her maybe three timesfor a few hours each.
No "doing things during the days with her andstaying at night"!
You really need to remember to GIVE HER THEGIFT OF MISSING YOU!
If you're around all the time, you becomepredictable, expected, and uninteresting.
On the other hand, if you're mysterious,challenging, and hard to pin down, she will thinkabout you and miss the times she's had with you.
DON'T TURN INTO A WUSS
This is one of the biggest mistakes that menmake when they meet a woman that they REALLY like.
I get a lot of emails from guys saying "I metthis girl, and I used everything I've learned fromDouble Your Dating to get her... but now thatwe've been seeing each other for awhile things arechanging, and I'm starting to lose control of howI act... and I'm turning into my old Wussyself..."
As I'm sure you can guess, this is bad bad badfor attraction.
When you start out by doing things that areattractive to her, then gradually turn into a WUSSBAG, you go from her wildest dream to her worstnightmare right in front of her eyes.
If you figure out how to make a woman feelATTRACTION for you, then KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'REDOING!
Don't start being a clingy Wuss. Translation:Don't spend every day and night with her, don'tbuy her groceries, and don't try to get her into arelationship fifteen minutes after you meet her.
You also mentioned a few little words thatstood out for me: "I kept coming over...".
YOU kept coming over. When you're the onecoming to her, then she's the one in control.Think about it. This is a small point, and itisn't always the case, but in this situation itmakes a difference.
So, what should you do now?
You should give her some space. Don't call hermore than once or twice a week, and don't see hermore than once or twice a week for awhile. Don'tpressure her physically, and don't try to push fora relationship.
DATE OTHER WOMEN! Get out there and go out withsome other women... and when you talk to her don'thide the fact that you're doing it. Be casualabout it, but feel free to mention it inconversation once or twice.
GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE
Don't get hung up, don't obsess about her, anddon't make it important to "win her back". Justmove on.
This combination will give you the greatestchance of winning her back...
And the next time you meet a beautiful womanthat has an interesting personality, DON'T TURNINTO A PREDICTABLE, BORING, CLINGY, WUSSY!
You've done a great job getting this far. Nowget back in there and take this to the next level!
And if you're reading this right now andthinking to yourself "I need to learn this stuffso I can meet beautiful women like this guy...",then we have to talk.
One of the most important insights I've gottenfrom learning the secrets of how to attract womenis very interesting...
I've realized that if a man doesn't know how toattract women, it spills over into all other areasof his life. It's a very special kind ofinsecurity that causes a lot of problems in otherareas as well.
Let's face it.
Just about everything that men do to achievematerial success in life is somehow connected toATTRACTING WOMEN.
But guess what?
Material success won't make the INSECURITY andthe FEAR go away!
The only thing that WILL make it go away isactually LEARNING how to attract women.
I know, because I've been there. I can CLEARLYremember how different I felt inside when I had noidea how to meet women... and I know how differentit feels now that I do.
My relationships work better, because I'm notacting AFRAID... afraid that she's going to leave,afraid I won't be able to find someone else...etc.
And when I'm single, I'm happy. I don'tconstantly worry anymore, not knowing if I'll evermeet another woman.
I personally think that taking the time tolearn how to make women feel ATTRACTION is one ofthe best investments you will ever make inyourself and your life, period.
It might be THE best investment.
If you'd like to get the best trainingavailable in the WORLD, then you need to getyourself a copy of my Advanced Dating TechniquesCD/DVD Program.
It's a complete education, from the psychologyof how to overcome fear and improve your selfimage, all the way to specific techniques forapproaching, meeting, and dating women... and evenhow to take things to a "physical level" withoutrejection.
I absolutely guarantee that this program willchange your success with women.
All the details, plus some great free audio andvideo samples are here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries
If you've gone through my Advanced DatingTechniques program, and you enjoyed the INNER GAMEaspects of attracting women... and you've realizedthat REALLY attractive women are more attracted toINNER qualities than "techniques"... AND you wantto learn how to become the kind of man that womenare NATURALLY attracted to... and that they STAYattracted to...
...then you REALLY need to check out myprogram: "On Being A Man... Who Naturally AttractsWomen".
Inside this program you'll learn how to developthe QUALITIES inside YOURSELF that women are"naturally" attracted to.
This program will teach you how to leave your"Inner Wuss" behind, and how to cultivate anatural masculine power that women find literallyIRRESISTIBLE.
All the details are here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/OnBeingAMan
And if you haven't taken the time to downloadmy online eBook "Double Your Dating", then youneed to go and do that RIGHT NOW. You can downloadit right now and be reading it within a fewminutes. Go and get it here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. Don't forget to check out my online "catalog"page, where you can watch video clips of all of mydifferent programs:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/Catalog/