The 4 Reasons Why Women Reject Men

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Most men HATE the idea of "rejection".
I'm not talking about "don't like the idea" or"wish it didn't happen"... I'm talking HATE here.
The idea of walking up to a woman and havingher REJECT you causes most men to instantly feelsick in the pit of their stomachs and literallyfeel a horrible combination of nervousness andconfusion.
A guy can psych himself up for an hour to gotalk to a woman, but when the moment comes toactually DO IT, EVERYTHING changes.
The heart rate shoots up, breathing quickens,eyes dart back and forth, thoughts of rejectionfill the mind, and eventually the pressure becomestoo much to bare.
Most men find this state so scary that they endup deciding to forget about approaching thewomen... just to end the discomfort.
The temptation is great to just "walk away"because just as quickly as the intense nervousnessis triggered by the moment one decides to ACT, itgoes away when you decide to "forget about it andwalk away".
The fact that "choosing to walk away" leads tothe "instant gratification" of the nervous feelinggoing away makes it the most popular option.
Most of the time (and I'm talking aboutprobably 99% of the time here) men just walk away.They give up before they've even started.
I find this topic fascinating.
If I just think about it, I can remember MANYtimes in my past where I wanted to talk to awoman, but I just didn't do it.
In fact, many of them are so vivid that I canremember the exact setting, what the girl lookedlike, who else was there, etc... and I'm talkingabout situations that happened YEARS ago.
These moments obviously made an impression.
I can also remember kicking myself for DAYSafterwards for not approaching and talking tothese girls.
Can you relate?
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACTUAL REJECTION AND THEFEAR OF REJECTION...
I think it's important to realize that there'sa BIG difference between ACTUAL rejection (havinga girl who is offended, upset, rude, etc. to youwhen you start talking to her) and the FEAR ofrejection (how you feel when you imagine a womanrejecting you).
I've found that for me PERSONALLY, my FEAR ofrejection is actually FAR, FAR more painful anddifficult to deal with than ACTUAL rejection inthe real world.
The main reason for this is that most of thetime when a man starts talking to a woman, she isactually rather nice about the whole affair.
Men aren't "rejected" very often!
If a woman isn't interested, she usually justsays "I have a boyfriend" or "No thank you"... orshe'll just walk away without saying anything atall.
Out of the hundreds and hundreds and hundredsof times that I've approached women, I can'tremember any time that a woman has yelled "Getaway from me you loser! You are unattractive andthe very thought of going on a date with you makesme sick to my stomach!"
I'm sure it's happened to SOMEONE, but it'snever happened to ME.
The worst I've had is a woman making fun of thewords I used (telling me that my pickup line waslame) or just walking away.
No slaps, no boyfriends beating me up, and noyelling.
But here's the kicker...
You can experience an intense FEAR of rejectionEVERY time you consider approaching a woman.
Imagine, something you can predict with almostperfect accuracy.
You can be in any situation, anywhere, anytime,and still have FEAR of rejection... which willprevent you from approaching a woman.
Ah, the power of the human mind.
HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION...
A lot of guys ask me, "How do I deal withrejection?".
The answer: Don't worry about it.
If you get "rejected", you'll be fine.
Really.
It's no big deal, and it doesn't happen thatoften.
And when it does, you'll recover shortlythereafter.
You'll find yourself telling your friends aboutit, and laughing together. Rejection from a womanis about as painful as getting a "D" on a test.
It's basically insignificant.
The REAL question is "How do I deal with myFEAR of rejection?".
If you can overcome your imaginary FEAR ofrejection, you'll be on your way. (Some guys havea type of fear that they might call "terror" whenthinking of approaching women.) If you have thislevel of fear, then you might want to take aminute and check this out before reading on:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//OnBeingAMan/?cid=4ZZZ3V&lid=2&sbid=2571750
WHY WOMEN REJECT MEN...
Now let's talk about those rare instances wherea woman actually REJECTS a man.
For the sake of this discussion, I want todefine "rejection" as a woman doing something thatlets you know that she's upset and offended thatyou started talking to her, and she responds in amean or vicious way to make you go away.
I do NOT consider a woman walking away withoutstopping to talk to you, her saying "No thankyou", or any other time when a woman just simplydoesn't engage to be "rejection".
If you DO consider these things to berejection, please stop reading now, call your mominto your room, and tell her that it's time yougrew up and moved out... and that she'll get overthe fact that she can't choose your clothes foryou and hug you when you have a boo-boo anymore.
I digress...
I've found that there are a few main reasonswhy women actually DO reject men (by the way, it'sVERY rare that I actually get "rejected"anymore... it's probably happened to me once inthe last 100 times I've started a conversationwith a woman... because I don't do dumb-ass thingsanymore).
Here are the main ones:
1. The guy isn't paying attention, and he doessomething stupid to begin with.
Some guys think it's appropriate to walk up toa woman, put their arm around her, and say, "Heybaby, you sure do look hot tonight".
Some guys don't see anything wrong withfollowing a woman around all night, staring at herconstantly, then walking over with a nervous,sweaty-palmed, stalkerish look and saying, "Youremind me of my sister".
These are bad ideas.
2. The guy doesn't stop when he should.
If two women are sitting alone at a table inthe corner, and one of them is obviously upset,and you walk over to them and say, "Hi, can I buyyou a drink?"... and the upset one looks at youand says, "No thanks, we're in the middle of aconversation" (then looks away from you back ather friend)... and you say, "Aw, cummon, have adrink. You need to lighten up and have somefun"... and she looks back at you and says firmly,"We're busy"... and you say, "What, are you in abad mood or something? I'm just trying to buy youa drink"... and she says, "We don't want adrink"... and you say, "Well maybe your frienddoes"... and the friend says, "No, I don't wantone either"...
OK, hopefully you get it.
If you ever do something like this, you are adumb ass, and you deserve to be slapped and have47 drinks thrown in your lap.
3. Making a woman nervous with your bodylanguage.
If you start talking to a woman, but yourposture is weak and slumped, your eyes are dartingaround but not meeting hers, and you're wearing anunbuttoned flannel shirt with one of the tailstucked in, you're probably not going to get afavorable response.
If you creep a woman out, things aren't goingto work for you.
4. Not understanding a woman's body language andother communication.
When you start talking to a woman, she will letyou know within a very short time if she'sreceptive to talking to you.
If you've been reading too many books that say"A woman will signal her availability and interestby flipping her hair, licking her lips, andcocking her head coyly at you", then get over it.
This stuff happens to Brat Pitt, not to YOU.
And if it DOES happen to you, then skip thispart.
When you first start talking to a woman she'seither going to keep talking to you in an open,comfortable way or she's not.
She's either going to act like things are coolor she's going to act like they're not.
This is an amazing thought, but women getnervous too. They will often stop talking justbecause they can't think of anything to say, etc.
But you need to pay attention.
Experience is the best teacher here.
My simple point is that MOST GUYS CAUSEREJECTION by what they're doing. They aren'tpaying attention, or they're doing things that areoffensive.
If you just avoid a few major mistakes, learnhow to start conversations with women, and do afew simple things RIGHT, you'll all but totallyavoid "rejection" from the women you approach.
HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR OF REJECTION
The REAL obstacle here is the FEAR.
As I mentioned, FEAR of rejection, or IMAGININGrejection when you should be imagining success,leads to walking away.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Ironically, I've found that the best way toovercome my own fear of rejection was to see thatit wasn't going to actually happen.
The more times I approached women and startedconversations and the more I saw that womenusually responded positively, the less I imaginedthings going wrong.
This led to a positive feedback loop of mewanting to approach more women and have moresuccess.
Here are a few ideas for overcoming your ownFEAR of rejection:
1) Go out to a bar, and watch men approachingwomen.
Take a Saturday night, and just go out alone.Find a seat at the bar where things are busy, andjust watch.
Make sure you visit a place that is REALLYbusy, so you can see a lot of people interacting.
Now, pay attention.
You'll begin to pick out the guys who areapproaching a lot of women, asking them to dance,buying them drinks, etc. Watch what happens.
You'll be able to see for yourself that most ofthe time, even if the woman isn't interested,nothing bad happens.
You'll also see that when a guy tries to grab awoman who's walking by, makes a crude sexualcomment, or just keeps talking when a woman isn'tinterested, that the woman's feelings mightescalate and she'll respond negatively.
You can watch what works and what doesn't rightin front of your own eyes.
This will start to reprogram your mind thatwomen don't usually "reject" men, even in the mostintense situations where they're being approachedall night.
2) Start small.
If you have to, start by talking to women whoare PAID to talk to you.
Go to a mall (one of my favorites).
Stores in malls hire attractive young women.
Walk into every store, and start conversations.
Practice making eye contact.
Come up with a few jokes that you can use inany situation ("So, do you own this store?Perfect, then you won't care if I just take somethings...")
Ask the salesgirls to smell your new cologne(the one you sprayed on your wrist next door) andgive you her opinion.
The more you do this, the more you'll get usedto starting conversations with women you don'tknow, and having comfortable conversations.
3) Choose one default thing for each situation.
It amazes me that guys don't think ahead.
They don't plan what they're going to do.
As the old saying goes "By failing to plan, youplan to fail".
You really need to figure out a DEFAULT thingyou can do to start a conversation with any woman,anywhere, anytime.
Once you come up with your idea, mentallyrehearse it until you could do it in anysituation.
Then get out and do it.
HOW TO AVOID REJECTION AND INCREASE SUCCESS
Human beings tend to want to "save face" whenit comes to relationships.
We don't like the idea that another person hasoutright "rejected" us, and we ALSO tend to notwant to "hurt other people's feelings" byrejecting them.
This is one of the reasons why women will oftenlie and say "I have a boyfriend" when they don't.
You must become aware of these "subconscious"processes and motivations, work with them, andeventually become the master of them.
Learn to recognize when a woman is "politelysaying no thanks", and move on.
If a woman isn't interested in you, forgetabout it. It doesn't matter.
Go to the next one. There are plenty.
LEARN HOW AND WHY WOMAN FEEL ATTRACTION FOR MEN
Most men believe that if they could onlyovercome their own fear of rejection, and learnhow to start talking to women, all their problemswould be solved.
Not so!
Just because you can start conversations withwomen doesn't mean that they'll feel ATTRACTIONfor you.
It took me a LONG time to really "get" this.
It took me even LONGER to realize that there isactually a way to make women feel the emotion ofATTRACTION for you... just by the way youcommunicate with them.
I used to believe that it was a mysterious,lucky accident when a woman felt ATTRACTION.
Now I realize that it's only "lucky" for thoseguys who don't understand it (and very few do).
I've devoted a lot of time, effort, energy,testing, and development to design a system thatany guy can use to start making women feelATTRACTION for him.
And I'd like you to take advantage of thateffort and time that I've invested by checking outmy Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.
In this program, I break down the process ofmaking women feel ATTRACTION for you into easy,step-by-step exercises and techniques that ANY guycan start using IMMEDIATELY.
You'll learn everything from specific exercisesto increase your self esteem, to the exact wordsthat I personally use when I approach women... tothe specific steps to "getting physical" withwomen.
It's all in there.
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//AdvancedSeries/?cid=4ZZZ3V&lid=3&sbid=2571750
And if you'd like to get an introduction to themain concepts, then download a copy of my onlineeBook "Double Your Dating". This eBook is acomplete intro to the mind set and techniques youneed to understand to start being successful withwomen. It's here:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//eBook/?cid=4ZZZ3V&lid=4&sbid=2571750
I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. If you want to get details and watch previewvideo clips from all of my different programs...each one designed to teach you a different elementof how to meet and date more women... then take aminute and go here:
http://www.datingtechniques.com/e//Catalog/?cid=4ZZZ3V&lid=5&sbid=2571750
P.P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story,Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphsmax.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you askyour question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuffis great" and "I don't need to tell you how wellyour stuff works" comments, but the fact is that IDO need to hear all of the specifics... becausethis helps other guys to see what's working indifferent situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "SuccessStory" in the subject line of the email. I readthese first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initialsand tell me where you're from.
5) Send it to me at:
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...don't just hit "reply" to this email.
Thanks! --------------------------------------------------