shucks !

ATTRACTION isn't a choice. It's an emotional reaction.

"The Guy in the bar Story...Why should he have left the bar as soon as he gotthe waitress' phone number?This is "Ultra Extra Important" you said. I thinkI know why he should have left, he was probablystaring at her all night and she was turned off byit, but give me your complete insight on why heshould have left immediately after getting here-mail.Thanks, R." >>>MY COMMENTS: As I said in the newsletter you quoted above,this concept is VERY important. Understanding why you need to leave at thispoint is part of understanding the dynamic calledATTRACTION. So before I get into the specifics, let's talkabout the underlying process that createsATTRACTION...1) ATTRACTION isn't a choice. It's an emotional reaction. ATTRACTION is nature's way of taking over ourminds and bodies long enough to make sure that wemate with someone with the best possible genes. I realize that this sounds pretty "clinical"and lame, but it's the damn truth. Attraction isn't concerned with you, her, orlove. It's evolved over a loooong period of time,and it has a purpose that is very important.2) ATTRACTION isn't logical, in the sense that itisn't created by things that "should" create it. Buying women dinner and gifts, giving lots ofcompliments when you first meet a woman, andkissing up to women to get their approval areexamples of "logical" things that SHOULD createattraction... but don't. When you understand how attraction works, youbegin to see that it has a "logic" all its own. Attraction is one of my favorite subjects...and I think you should understand it if you wantto be successful with women. My second book iscalled "Attraction Isn't A Choice", and you cango and download the online version of it rightnow... which I highly recommend... right here:http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10020/AttractionBook/3) Women aren't attracted to guys who act likeneedy Wuss-Bags. When guys give lots ofcompliments, seek approval, act clingy, or try togo out of their way to be overly "nice", itusually backfires. Women run from Wussy men (either that or theygo shoe shopping with them... and the guy usuallypays).4) Unfortunately, many guys are mentallyprogrammed to a sort of "Default Wussy" mode ofbehavior when they encounter a woman that they'reattracted to. When you combine this Default Wuss mode withnervous body language, you create an almostimpossible barrier between you and ever creatingATTRACTION.5) Just like a painting or a song, too much canruin an interaction with a woman. You must know when to leave, hang up, or endthe interaction. Leaving at the right moment creates tension,anticipation and mystery. YOU EITHER INCREASE OR DECREASE ATTRACTION -IT'S ALWAYS EITHER GOING UP OR DOWN... Of course, there are more ingredients toATTRACTION, but these will set the stage for whereI'm going with this... In every situation, you can do something toINCREASE the ATTRACTION... and you can dosomething to DECREASE it. In other words, there'salways a way to dial up this magical emotion. And yes, you can increase the ATTRACTION evenwhen you've just met. In fact, this is often thebest time to do it. Let me ask you a question... What would most guys do in the situation withthe waitress (or maybe a bartender)? Imagine it. You're in a bar, you're chatting with the cutegal serving drinks or behind the bar. You're beingCocky and Funny, busting on her, etc. and she'senjoying your company. You say "Hey, do you haveemail?" and she writes it down for you... WHAT DO YOU DO? You could...a) Sit there and keep talking.b) Stay and talk to her a few more times.c) Wait around hoping that you can go homewith her.d) Leave. So let's do a little critical thinking aboutthis situation before I comment (or maybe thiswill be the comment, we'll see). If you:(a) sit there and keep talking, what's likely tohappen? In my experience, unless you're the ultimateMac Daddy of all time, the only place to go isDOWN. Think about it... you got her info. You did it.She's working. She's only going to get busy, whichwill probably make the conversation moredifficult. And then there's the risk of saying or doingsomething stupid, getting too drunk to make sense,or just having the interaction go cold. All in all, you have very little chance ofanything good happening, and a great chance ofhaving something not-so-good happening. Doesn't sound like a very good idea to me. If you:(b) stay there in the bar (maybe join friends thatshow up), and talk to her a few more times whileordering drinks, etc. what is likely to happen? Again, we're dealing with a situation thatalmost can't get any BETTER. Remember, she alreadygave you the info. Now she might start thinking"Oh, this is just another loser that hangs out allnight and gets drunk with his buddies... like theother 47 guys who hit on me." Or you might say something dumb... or you mighttip her too much or too little and make a strangeimpression... or any of a lot of things. All downside risk, no upside rewards. If you:(c) wait around hoping that you can go home withher, I think you're REALLY taking your chances inthe situation. Again, unless you're the ultimate pick-upartist of all time, you're not likely to be takinghome the bartender by sitting in front of her anddrinking all night... for the same reasons listedabove. But what if:(d) YOU LEFT IMMEDIATELY after getting her info? What effect does DISAPPEARING have on aninteraction like this one? Well, let me ask you: What effect doesdisappearing have IN GENERAL on people? It creates curiosity, mystery, etc. It makesthe other person think "I wonder where he/she hadto go so fast?" You can also combine this with having somethingvery INTERESTING to do. For instance, you mightsay:"Nice talking to you... I'm going to go meet upwith some friends to have some SERIOUS fun." This technique of leaving the moment I'vegotten a woman's information has worked WONDERSfor me... and for many guys I know. The long and the short of it is that if youstick around after you get the info, you create notension, no mystery, and no curiosity. On the other hand, if you LEAVE IMMEDIATELY,and have something interesting (even if you don'tsay what it is) to go do, then you're seen asbusy... the kind of guy who has a life... someonewho is in demand. Leaving turns up the ATTRACTION. It createscuriosity. Women are used to guys hanging on, clinging,and generally NOT having other things to do. It's something that will INSTANTLY separate youfrom other guys, and something that willdemonstrate all the right qualities with a singlemove. Remember, you can do things to INCREASE orDECREASE the ATTRACTION in any given situation. Irecommend that you start thinking of how toincrease it as much as you possibly can, becauseif a woman feels ATTRACTION, then almost nothingelse matters. Let's shift gears. When it comes to CREATING ATTRACTION, you cantake it to the next level... and the next... allthe way to the point of "getting physical" with awoman... ...I've gone from not being able to even TALKto a woman I don't know... to being able toapproach any woman in any situation and have aVERY HIGH chance of getting a date with her... andof course more, if I want. If you're reading this right now, and saying toyourself "I would really like to know how he doesthat", then I'd like to share the secrets withyou. And I'd like to do it at absolutely ZERO RISKto you. I want you to get a copy of my Advanced DatingTechniques CD/DVD Program... and I'll send it toyou without charging you up front. Really. Go through the WHOLE PROGRAM. TRY some of the things you learn. I absolutely guarantee that you will start tosee IMMEDIATE results. Women will respond to youdifferently, because you will see things from anew perspective. If you don't get immediate results, just sendit back and you won't be charged. Go check out some great video samples here:http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10020/AdvancedSeries/...and if you would like to learn the basics ofhow to be successful with women and dating, youneed to go download a copy of my online eBook"Double Your Dating". It and the three bonusbooklets that come along with it are a killerintroduction to my concepts and techniques. Youcan download it and be reading it within a fewminutes. It's here:http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10020/eBook/ I'll talk to you again soon. Your Friend, David D.P.S. I get a lot of questions in my mailboxasking me how I learned all of this stuff... andhow I figured out some of the secrets I'velearned about women and attraction. If you'dlike to read the story, go here:http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10020/eBook/

Boy is attracted to girl. Unfortunately, boy doesn't have a clue about how to make girl feel ATTRACTION for him... so, instead he tries to"pursue" girl by offering her dinners, gifts, and flowers. Girl finds boy "nice", but there are no"sparks", so she "just likes him as a friend".

Here's "Meeting Story #2": Boy is attracted to girl. Fortunately for him, boy understands ATTRACTION, and begins to communicate with girl in a way that makes her feel a powerful physical and emotional response for boy that she can't control. The sparks fly, and boy and girl "get together". As I'm sure you know...

In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation and both of them know it. In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control ofthe situation.

THE STORIES OF HOW THINGS "END UP"
Let's assume that somehow, boy and girl actually "get together". Things usually go one of two ways after that...

Here's "End Up Story #1": Boy and girl get together. Boy realizes that he"REALLY likes" girl. Boy begins to act more and more predictable. Boy starts to share "how he feels" about girl too often. Boy becomes more and more submissive. Girl loses that feeling ofATTRACTION that she once had for boy and has noway of explaining or understanding why. Girl leaves boy and boy is left wondering whathappened.

Here's "End Up Story #2": Boy and girl get together. Boy understands that no matter how much he likes girl, he cannot lethimself become a Wussy who chases girl around"sharing how he feels" and becomes boring. Boy keeps the relationship interesting and he keeps challenging girl. Boy stays in control of himself,and by understanding his role as "The Man" in the relationship, keeps girl interested and attractedto him into the future.

And again, as I'm sure you know...
In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation and both of them know it.
In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of the situation. If you look at your experience with women, I'm sure you'll see that these short stories describeMOST of the experiences you've had. Now, of course there are slight twists andvariations, but the message is clear:
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW ATTRACTION WORKS FORWOMEN... AND HOW TO KEEP THE ATTRACTION GOING WHEN YOU MEET A WOMAN YOU REALLY LIKE.

If you don't understand ATTRACTION and how itworks, then you are destined to keep playing out these same stories for the rest of your life. It's very unlikely that you'll stumble upon the "magic solution" by accident...

ATTRACTION IS DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN THAN IT IS FOR MEN - VERY DIFFERENT The reality is that you CAN stop this negative pattern if you WANT to.

But the key is:
1) Understanding how ATTRACTION works for WOMEN.
2) Understanding YOURSELF, so you don't ALLOW yourself to act like a Wussy, become boring andturn a good thing into a bad one... but instead you do the RIGHT things to keep everything on theright track. If you know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you can control your destiny with women. If you DON'T know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you cannot control your destiny with women. Read that paragraph again, and think about it for a minute before you go on. OK, so I mentioned that ATTRACTION is verydifferent for women than it is for men. Different how?

What do I mean by that? ... Well, generally speaking, for a woman, ATTRACTION is a PROCESS...not an "event". It happens over time, and itbecomes stronger or weaker depending upon how wellthe man in the situation understands how it works. For a man, ATTRACTION is much more of an"event", meaning that it's either there or itisn't. It really doesn't matter whether or not thewoman understands how it works. (As an interestingside note, if a woman really knows how ATTRACTIONworks, and her intention is to manipulate a man,it usually works VERY well.) So, think of a woman's "Attraction Mechanism"more like a volume knob than a light switch. It's like a fantastic, classy old car thatneeds to warm up for a long time before you candrive it... not like a brand new Honda that youcan start up and get right on the freeway with. Here's a little secret about women andATTRACTION: If you'll just take a little longer inevery situation to AMPLIFY a woman's ATTRACTION,she'll love you for it... and you'll experiencerewards that will make the extra time you spentseem like the best investment of your entire life. Here are a few specific tips for you for the"Meeting Phase":1) Start with something STRONG, not WEAK. When a guy finds a girl interesting, he usuallyturns into a ball of nervous mush. Then, heusually makes the mistake of letting the womanKNOW that he's nervous and weak. Don't do it. Do something STRONG. Challenge her. If she thinks that she's cool, make fun of her.If she's smart, argue with her a little. If she'sdoing something, tell her that you could do itbetter. When you PUSH a little, and show some BACKBONE,she'll push back. That's your sign that the GAMEIS ON. If you just chase after her like the 100 otherWussies that have been bothering her this week,you will just be another boring, predictable facein the crowd.2) Keep the TENSION UP. One of my favorite concepts is "Never let theline go slack". This means that once you SPARK the "chemistry"or "sexual tension", you need to KEEP IT UP. Just because she starts doing things that hintto you that she's interested, doesn't mean thatit's time to STOP. Quite the opposite, actually. Turn UP the volume a little. It's working, sodo more! Sexual Tension is SO important thatI've actually devoted an entire "language" andway of thinking about it. If you want to learnhow to create Sexual Tension, then use it toreally amplify ATTRACTION and arousal, thentake a minute and look at this:http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10020/SexualCommunication/3) Tease. The word "tease" has a couple of meanings. One of the meanings has to do with doing thingsthat are slightly annoying to get a response fromsomeone. The other meaning is subtly different and hasto do with drawing out a response that you want bydoing certain things that indirectly trigger it. Do both. If you're about to kiss her, wait until yourlips are so close that you can almost feel her...and then STOP. Pull away, and smile. If you want to know how she feels about you,say, "You LOVE me" in a condescending tone ofvoice, and see how she responds. If she says "NO IDON'T!" in an exaggerated, mocking way, then sheprobably DOES "love" you. Teasing is fantastic. Do more of it. And here are a few tips for the "End Up" phase:1) Never become BORING. Being predictable and boring is a cardinal sinwhen it comes to ATTRACTION. Don't do either. Of course, telling a man not to be predictableis like telling a dog not to hump your leg. Most guys are PAINFULLY predictable. We LIKE being predictable, actually. I get it. But, when it comes to a woman you enjoy, you'dbetter figure out a way to STOP IT. There's nothing that will kill the sparksfaster than her knowing what you're about to do orsay.2) Don't hand over control. Women like men who make decisions and take thelead. Now, I'm not saying that women like men whoare overly controlling. What I am saying is thatwomen don't like guys who are always saying thingslike, "I don't know, what do YOU want to do,baby?". Women don't want men that they can control, sodon't be one.3) Respect yourself and keep your own interests. When a guy meets a woman he likes, he oftenwants to spend as much time as possible with her. This is natural, of course. But there's a big danger here as well. If you put your life aside for a woman, youwill become less interesting to HER. In the long run, it's MUCH better to keep yourfriends, your interests, and your hobbies, and tospend time doing the things you enjoy... WITHOUTHER. And I think it's VERY important to keepimproving yourself as a person, and continue to bea guy that she can look up to and respect. As soon as you start acting like she's going tobe around forever, she'll start feeling less andless ATTRACTION for you. THE BIGGER PICTURE Now, as you read these examples, can you seethe bigger picture forming? Can you see the deeper message? The deeper message is that you need tounderstand how ATTRACTION works for women and youneed to do those things that keep the ATTRACTIONBUILDING FOREVER. Now, where does this all begin? It begins with YOU. And it begins with you learning how to controlyourself and your emotions. It begins with youunderstanding the history of how and whymen and women become attracted to each other. Itbegins with you learning the basics of how to usesubtle body language and communication to makewomen feel ATTRACTION for you. And what's the best way to get this "in depth"education? You need to get some of your "Inner Game"issues handled, and you need to learn how toreally get control of your emotional life. If thisis you, then I recommend you check out my "DeepInner Game" program. This program is jam-packed with tools andtechniques for fixing self image problems,improving self-esteem, overcoming fear of women...and everything in between. This is the BOMB when it comes to working onyour Inner Game, and you can go watch some greatpreview video clips here:http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10020/DeepInnerGame/

If you'd like to learn the "secret language ofAttraction", then I highly recommend that you getyour hands on a copy of my "Sexual Communication"DVD program. Inside this program I'll teach you all about a"secret" language that has been used all aroundyou, all your life... you just never knew aboutit. I'll show you how to spark attraction, buildsexual tension and chemistry, and take things tothe next level... using powerful (but subtle) bodylanguage cues and other techniques. Discovering "Sexual Communication" was one ofthe most important steps on my own journey tosuccess with women and dating, and I'd like you tocheck out this program... so I can teach you whatI've learned. All the details, plus some great previews arehere:http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10020/SexualCommunication/

How to get laid

Be extra nice to women
Don’t say anything to put a woman off
Do sweet things to make her like you
Convince her that you’re “similar” to her
Build “rapport” and commonality with her
Don’t argue with her
…and on and on...
All USELESS.

Fortunately, as I was learning all of this useless stuff, I ALSO made it a point to get to know some guys who were “masters” of the dating game.
I interviewed them, went out with them, and got inside their minds to find out how they were THINKING about meeting women… but I still didn’t quite “get it”.
When I look back on it now, I wonder how I could have NOT SEEN what was going on… it was RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.
I went out one night with a new friend of mine (a neighbor I’d met recently who was good with women)… and we were talking to a lot of women.
I was being a “nice guy”… and he was being… well… something VERY different.
He wasn’t being “mean”, but he was definitely saying some “edgy” stuff.
He was teasing women… he was busting on them… and he was acting kind of arrogant.
It actually made me uncomfortable.
At one point, he took me aside to have a “talk” with me… he tried to explain to me that I just wasn’t getting it, and that I needed to stop being so damn NICE. He also tried to explain how he uses humor with women.
It made no sense at all.
In fact, he and I went out several times after that… and each time he tried to explain this way of being around women… he used the words “cocky” and “funny” to try to explain it to me (and I just was NOT getting it).
Made no sense at all.
I couldn’t connect the idea of being “cocky” to the idea of making a woman interested in you.
About that time, I made another friend who was very good with women. (Remember something as I tell you these stories… these guys were NATURALLY good with women. They had figured out their “systems” on their own. And these guys didn’t KNOW EACH OTHER.)
This second friend was very different from the first.
He was a lot “friendlier” when it came to personality… he was more social… and he was older.
As we went out together to meet women, I watched him start conversations and interact with women… alone, in groups, in every combination.
And he did something that was very interesting…
He always teased them.
He said crass things.
Every time a woman would try to brag about something, he made fun of her.
It was very different from my first friend, but somehow the same.
At first I didn’t see the similarity, because these guys were so different.
Finally, I made friends with yet ANOTHER guy who had, yet again, another COMPLETELY different style.
He spent more time meeting women on the internet, and more time doing creative things like writing, etc.
This guy came up with some of the funniest things to say to women… and he used them over and over.
Once again, very different from the other two… but somehow the same.
That’s when the puzzle really started to come together for me…
And when it did, ohhhh baby.
One night I remember going out with my FIRST friend… and he could tell that I was finally starting to “get it”. On the way out, he advised me to not be so NICE that night, and to just sit back, make fun of women, and let them come to me.
So that’s what I did.
The first girl that I started talking to was a very sweet, friendly girl.
I just leaned back, made fun of her, and acted totally uninterested.
She sat on my lap.
I was shocked.
I left that night with her phone number... and got a date with her a few days later.
In my head I said “Note to self…”
Well, over the next few years I refined and developed this totally new concept, and created the technique I call “Cocky & Funny” (and later “Cocky Comedy”).

read on http://www.doubleyourdating.com/e/10020/CockyComedy/
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