>NOTE: If you'd like to learn the easiest,fastest, lowest-rejection way to meet women,then read this:http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10020/MeetingWomenOnline/***SUCCESS STORY***Hey Dave,Great news. I tried C + F with a girl I've knownfor over a year as a friend but would never dream of "approaching"...I asked her advice about fashion and took hershopping with me for clothes. I busted on her the whole time about looking at my ass, etc.
So a fewdays later I get a call. "What do you like to drink? How 'bout I stop by with some beers and hang out?"Between our second and third lovemaking sessions she apologizes for taking up my time, and confesses that she's not really looking for a relationship right now. Hopes I'm not mad. Pure gold, man. This woman is ten years younger and the highest paid stripper at a local bar. I'm broke,short, bald, cocky, and funny. Go figure. Thanks amillion.
Don't print my name, but DO send me youradvanced class ASAP!>>>MY COMMENTS: Yeah, bummer... isn't it? While you might not have found the ultimate"wife" material, it doesn't sound to me like youmind the free fashion advice (oh, and free BEER). Interesting Question: Why is it that the highest paid dancer at alocal bar... one who has literally hundreds andhundreds of men around her that would pay her, buyher anything, and worship her like a queen...would rather buy beer and bring it to an older,short, bald, cocky, funny guy and then say "I'msorry if I'm wasting your time... I'm not lookingfor a relationship"? Interesting Answer: Because she doesn't need a clingy, loser,psycho, WUSSY, sketchy jackass who calls her 47times a day to ask her what she's doing and say "Imiss you, when can I see you again". Powerful.***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***Hi,I would be most grateful for some help/advice ifyou could assist. I am bi sexual fem women,and have recently met a beautiful women, my typevery fem, and I really like this women. She hasbeen hurt by men in the past, and is just goingthrough a phase in her life at the moment whereshe needs to be with women. She has been with 2other women including me before.To cut a long story short, I dont know how tocharm her, make her like me more and become amagnet towards her?. I'm not chasing after herbecause i suspect that most men have done thisbefore, and because I am a women i want to play itcool. She has already indicated that she wantsfun then see what happens, but I understand thatnothing could ever come of it because her familyand friends dont know she is bi, and she comesfrom a relatively posh family.Have you got any suggestions you could give meplease.Thank you for spending time in reading theabove, and I await to hear from you in greatanticipation.S.>>>MY COMMENTS: You know, why is it that when you finally getan email you WISH was longer, it says "To cut along story short"? Whatever. OK, I'm closing my eyes right now... and makingan image in my mind of you and your new-found babein a room together... You're wondering how to make her feel A STRONGATTRACTION to you... but you just can't figure itout... All of a sudden, the door opens up, and I comewalking in to the rescue... I sit down between you and your girlfriend, andI give you that knowing look... You instantly understand that I'm going to helpyou get what you want... and you feel a deep andprofound appreciation for me... ... ... ... You know, this imaginary thing never was verygood for me. Ok, back to reality... Look, you're asking a question just like aWussy guy would ask. You're in a TEXTBOOK situation... And if you don't get control of yourself andyour emotions, you're going to screw this up realgood. Pause. Deep breaths. Sit in the lotus positionor something. Here's the formula for making this girl want tobe with you: Great Experiences + Missing You Got it? When you're with her, make it ENJOYABLE. Don't put any kind of weird emotional pressureon her. Don't ask "Do you think you could be withsomeone like me in a long-term relationship?". Don't cling. Don't call her all the time. When you do spend time with her, make sure youand she are having a GREAT TIME. And then end every interaction with her whileit's on an UP note... and just a little bit toosoon. Like a great movie, end it at a "climax". "Huh... Huh... He thaid "climaxth". Yeah Yeah!" And as you've heard me say before, give her theGIFT of MISSING YOU. You're on the right track by "playing it cool". Now add fun, excitement, and MYSTERY to theequation. Give her experiences she can't forget, and thengive her room to think about you, wonder where youare, and chase you until she's caught.***COMMENT***Just what kind of conversations are you havingwith these lil girls? Don't you find it better tohave someone that can stimulate your mind as wellas your member? I must say that my personalopinion is that you have low self-esteem and baseyour self worth on the trophy you carry by yourside...Grow up ya mental midget.......Sincerely, K.D.C.>>>MY COMMENTS: I've included this to make an example... thisis the type of person to watch out for whileyou're learning how to be successful with womenand dating... they have nothing useful to offer,only negativity. This is someone who doesn't get it, doesn't getANY, and isn't going to help you. This person would be glad to sit all night andtell you why it's a bad idea for you to have fundating all the fun women you're dating becausenone of them are "marriage material". REVELATION: Duh. But while you're FINDING that rare andfantastic woman who can stimulate your mind, body,emotions, and "member", you might as well enjoyyourself... And to answer the question: The kind of conversations I'm having with these"lil girls" is the kind that challenges them,makes them feel ATTRACTION, and makes them realizehow BORING negative people like you are. 'Nuff said.***SUCCESS STORY***David!Where do I even begin to tell you about thechanges that have taken place in my life since Iread your e-book?I used to be the classic wussy. While readingyour book, and reading about the things that yousaid were exactly what NOT to do, it was painfulfor me. But a wake-up call at the same time! Itallowed me to pinpoint what went wrong in everyfailed relationship or unsuccessful interactionwith females I've ever had.I've always been naturally cocky and funny, butI never figured it would be a successful method touse around women as I was too focused on comingacross as, "A nice guy she could take home todad." I used to ALWAYS become a submissive wuss infrilly pink panties everytime I was aroundattractive girls. Maaannn, was I ever wrong, andthank you for showing me the light!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
more tips
Let's talk about how to make a great FIRSTIMPRESSION with a woman...
I've found that there are 3 keys to approachinga woman and sparking her attraction for you withinthe first few minutes of meeting her. They are:
1. Being CONFIDENT A woman can "sense" confidence much like theway a dog can sense fear. Ask any woman and she will tell you that thereis something about a man who is confident andcomfortable in his own skin that is IRRESISTABLYattractive... and something FAR MORE intriguingabout these types of men then there is about guywho is simply physically attractive.
2. Being DIFFERENT I don't need to tell you that attractive womenget approached by DOZENS of men... often in asingle day. Fortunately 99% of these men do the EXACT samethings... and get rejected almost immediately. This is great news for YOU... because when youdo something DIFFERENT you will instantly grab herattention and peak her curiosity... simply becauseyou stand out from the pack of unoriginal losersshe is used to meeting.
3. Knowing What To Do Next After you approach a woman and grab herattention, it is CRITICAL that you know what to doNEXT to keep things going in the right direction. SHE certainly isn't going to help you... so ifyou don't know how to keep the conversation going and take things to the next level, you are boundto end up in an awkward moment that makes her feel uncomfortable with you... and ruins all of thegood things you have done up to that point.
Nod your head if this has ever happened toyou...
It's easy to see how critical the above 3things are to approaching a woman successfully and sparking her interest and ATTRACTION for you. But actually DOING THEM can be easier said than done... especially when you are trying to figure it all out on your own. Fortunately that doesn't have to be the casefor YOU... I just finished up a KILLER interview with aguy who is one of the best I've ever met atapproaching a woman and making a fantastic first impression with her.
But unlike some of the other guys I'veinterviewed in the past, this man is no "natural".He's a regular guy... just like me and you. Growing up, he could never figure out why women weren't interested in him.
And get this: As a teen he got the crazy idea that if women thought he was really intelligent they would beimpressed and attracted to him... He decided to spend an entire summer reading a DICTIONARY... and learning big words he thought women would find impressive.
Needless to say, it didn't work. It wasn't until just recently that things finally began to click for him... and now he is UNSTOPPABLE.
He's approached HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS ofwomen... and has figured out how to spark awoman's interest in him in MINUTES... nearly everytime. These days he is part of a company that takesguys out "in the field" and shows them how toapproach women LIVE and in-person. It's one of the only companies that I personally recommend for in-the-field coaching,and one of the very best.
As expected, the secrets he shared in our interview are going to BLOW YOUR MIND. Here are just a few:-
A simple "in the field" trick to boost your confidence and completely ELIMINATE any nervousness you feel when you see a woman you want to meet (Using this trick, even my friend's most nervous students are able to walk up to anattractive woman and start a conversation withher... the very FIRST time they try!)
-3 secret spots to meet women that are much, MUCH better than nightclubs... ESPECIALLY if you wantto meet someone who is "girlfriend material" with nearly ZERO risk of rejection-A simple line to use to meet a woman at a grocery store that works in almost any situation... andwill often even lead to a date with her THAT NIGHT (Women LOVE this one because it is totally ORIGINAL)-A BRAND NEW way to start a conversation with awoman that works nearly every time in nearly EVERY situation (Chances are this will become your "fallback" line from now on)
-What to say to a woman when you RUN OUT of thingsto say (Here's an easy way to "save" yourself ifyou ever find yourself at a loss for words that gets things back on track IMMEDIATELY and makesher feel MORE ATTRACTED to you at the same time)
-A simple psychological trick to make a woman wantto begin FLIRTING with you instead of havingboring "casual" conversation (Use this one to takethings to a "sexual" level within MINUTES ofmeeting her)-How to turn any nervous energy you have aroundmeeting a woman into ADRENALINE that pumps you upwith a contagious excitement that women FEEL whenyou approach them-How to tell a story in a way that gets a womancaptivated with your personality... so she becomeseager to hear more of what YOU have to say insteadof running off with her friends-How to create an intense feeling of CONNECTIONwith a woman during your very first conversationwith her (This strategy is used by psychologiststo get their patients to open up to themquickly... she'll feel like the two of you haveknown each other forever even if you've just met)
-A type of tee shirt that gets women to approachYOU... and also makes them MUCH less likely toreject you when you are the one making the firstmove-And much, much more... As you can see... this interview was KILLER. If you have ANY hesitation or problems aroundapproaching women and starting conversations...chances are the exact thing you need to learn totake your game to the next level is in here. When you have the ability to approach a womanyou've never met before and not only start aconversation with her... but actually get herinterested and ATTRACTED to you... your life willsuddenly get VERY exciting... Don't be surprised if you find yourself pumpedup to hit one of the secret spots my friend shareswith you IMMEDIATELY after you go through thisinterview... you'll be able to use thesetechniques IMMEDIATELY... and you'll see resultsRIGHT AWAY. I'm going to release this killer interview asthis month's edition of my "Interviews With DatingGurus" monthly CD audio program. If you're already signed up for the program, donothing. You'll have your hands on these secretssoon. If you're not? Well then NOW is THE TIME. This interview is "hitting the presses" thisFriday morning... so you're going to need to be onboard by THIS THURSDAY at MIDNIGHT to make sureyou get it. When you sign up, I'm also going to throw ina "Starter Kit" containing 2 UNBELIEVABLE double-length interviews (2 CDs each) that are among thebest I've ever done... ON ME. The information in this interviews will saveyou THOUSANDS OF HOURS of "trial and error"... Iguarantee you will learn SEVERAL techniques youwill use to improve your interactions with womenfor the rest of your life. If you're like most of the guys that havesigned up for the program, you'll listen to eachof them AT LEAST 4 or 5 times... and learnsomething new each time you go through them. What if you don't? If you don't learn anything useful from theseinterviews, then I've wasted your time... and Iwant you to KEEP ALL OF THEM as my way of sayingthanks for giving the program a shot. Now... would I make a promise like that to youif I was AT ALL worried about that happening?Absolutely not.
In fact, I'll make a "side bet" with you rightnow that once you get these interviews out thereand listen to JUST THE FIRST ONE... that I won'tbe able to buy them back from you for 500 dollars. I'm deadly serious. The information in theseinterviews is CUTTING EDGE. You simply CANNOT findit anywhere else. And it will improve your successwith women IMMEDIATELY. Think I'm kidding? Try me. You're going to get your hands on somePRICELESS secrets that will take your skills withwomen to the next level... or you don't pay.Period. But don't take my word for it. Try me. You can't lose. Just make sure you sign up by THIS THURSDAY atMidnight... and I'll ship your CDs out to youright away. Get your notepad ready. You're going to be LOVEthese interviews... and more than that... you'regoing to LOVE the success with women thisinformation brings. Click on this link, and sign up now:http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10020/InterviewSeries/
I've found that there are 3 keys to approachinga woman and sparking her attraction for you withinthe first few minutes of meeting her. They are:
1. Being CONFIDENT A woman can "sense" confidence much like theway a dog can sense fear. Ask any woman and she will tell you that thereis something about a man who is confident andcomfortable in his own skin that is IRRESISTABLYattractive... and something FAR MORE intriguingabout these types of men then there is about guywho is simply physically attractive.
2. Being DIFFERENT I don't need to tell you that attractive womenget approached by DOZENS of men... often in asingle day. Fortunately 99% of these men do the EXACT samethings... and get rejected almost immediately. This is great news for YOU... because when youdo something DIFFERENT you will instantly grab herattention and peak her curiosity... simply becauseyou stand out from the pack of unoriginal losersshe is used to meeting.
3. Knowing What To Do Next After you approach a woman and grab herattention, it is CRITICAL that you know what to doNEXT to keep things going in the right direction. SHE certainly isn't going to help you... so ifyou don't know how to keep the conversation going and take things to the next level, you are boundto end up in an awkward moment that makes her feel uncomfortable with you... and ruins all of thegood things you have done up to that point.
Nod your head if this has ever happened toyou...
It's easy to see how critical the above 3things are to approaching a woman successfully and sparking her interest and ATTRACTION for you. But actually DOING THEM can be easier said than done... especially when you are trying to figure it all out on your own. Fortunately that doesn't have to be the casefor YOU... I just finished up a KILLER interview with aguy who is one of the best I've ever met atapproaching a woman and making a fantastic first impression with her.
But unlike some of the other guys I'veinterviewed in the past, this man is no "natural".He's a regular guy... just like me and you. Growing up, he could never figure out why women weren't interested in him.
And get this: As a teen he got the crazy idea that if women thought he was really intelligent they would beimpressed and attracted to him... He decided to spend an entire summer reading a DICTIONARY... and learning big words he thought women would find impressive.
Needless to say, it didn't work. It wasn't until just recently that things finally began to click for him... and now he is UNSTOPPABLE.
He's approached HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS ofwomen... and has figured out how to spark awoman's interest in him in MINUTES... nearly everytime. These days he is part of a company that takesguys out "in the field" and shows them how toapproach women LIVE and in-person. It's one of the only companies that I personally recommend for in-the-field coaching,and one of the very best.
As expected, the secrets he shared in our interview are going to BLOW YOUR MIND. Here are just a few:-
A simple "in the field" trick to boost your confidence and completely ELIMINATE any nervousness you feel when you see a woman you want to meet (Using this trick, even my friend's most nervous students are able to walk up to anattractive woman and start a conversation withher... the very FIRST time they try!)
-3 secret spots to meet women that are much, MUCH better than nightclubs... ESPECIALLY if you wantto meet someone who is "girlfriend material" with nearly ZERO risk of rejection-A simple line to use to meet a woman at a grocery store that works in almost any situation... andwill often even lead to a date with her THAT NIGHT (Women LOVE this one because it is totally ORIGINAL)-A BRAND NEW way to start a conversation with awoman that works nearly every time in nearly EVERY situation (Chances are this will become your "fallback" line from now on)
-What to say to a woman when you RUN OUT of thingsto say (Here's an easy way to "save" yourself ifyou ever find yourself at a loss for words that gets things back on track IMMEDIATELY and makesher feel MORE ATTRACTED to you at the same time)
-A simple psychological trick to make a woman wantto begin FLIRTING with you instead of havingboring "casual" conversation (Use this one to takethings to a "sexual" level within MINUTES ofmeeting her)-How to turn any nervous energy you have aroundmeeting a woman into ADRENALINE that pumps you upwith a contagious excitement that women FEEL whenyou approach them-How to tell a story in a way that gets a womancaptivated with your personality... so she becomeseager to hear more of what YOU have to say insteadof running off with her friends-How to create an intense feeling of CONNECTIONwith a woman during your very first conversationwith her (This strategy is used by psychologiststo get their patients to open up to themquickly... she'll feel like the two of you haveknown each other forever even if you've just met)
-A type of tee shirt that gets women to approachYOU... and also makes them MUCH less likely toreject you when you are the one making the firstmove-And much, much more... As you can see... this interview was KILLER. If you have ANY hesitation or problems aroundapproaching women and starting conversations...chances are the exact thing you need to learn totake your game to the next level is in here. When you have the ability to approach a womanyou've never met before and not only start aconversation with her... but actually get herinterested and ATTRACTED to you... your life willsuddenly get VERY exciting... Don't be surprised if you find yourself pumpedup to hit one of the secret spots my friend shareswith you IMMEDIATELY after you go through thisinterview... you'll be able to use thesetechniques IMMEDIATELY... and you'll see resultsRIGHT AWAY. I'm going to release this killer interview asthis month's edition of my "Interviews With DatingGurus" monthly CD audio program. If you're already signed up for the program, donothing. You'll have your hands on these secretssoon. If you're not? Well then NOW is THE TIME. This interview is "hitting the presses" thisFriday morning... so you're going to need to be onboard by THIS THURSDAY at MIDNIGHT to make sureyou get it. When you sign up, I'm also going to throw ina "Starter Kit" containing 2 UNBELIEVABLE double-length interviews (2 CDs each) that are among thebest I've ever done... ON ME. The information in this interviews will saveyou THOUSANDS OF HOURS of "trial and error"... Iguarantee you will learn SEVERAL techniques youwill use to improve your interactions with womenfor the rest of your life. If you're like most of the guys that havesigned up for the program, you'll listen to eachof them AT LEAST 4 or 5 times... and learnsomething new each time you go through them. What if you don't? If you don't learn anything useful from theseinterviews, then I've wasted your time... and Iwant you to KEEP ALL OF THEM as my way of sayingthanks for giving the program a shot. Now... would I make a promise like that to youif I was AT ALL worried about that happening?Absolutely not.
In fact, I'll make a "side bet" with you rightnow that once you get these interviews out thereand listen to JUST THE FIRST ONE... that I won'tbe able to buy them back from you for 500 dollars. I'm deadly serious. The information in theseinterviews is CUTTING EDGE. You simply CANNOT findit anywhere else. And it will improve your successwith women IMMEDIATELY. Think I'm kidding? Try me. You're going to get your hands on somePRICELESS secrets that will take your skills withwomen to the next level... or you don't pay.Period. But don't take my word for it. Try me. You can't lose. Just make sure you sign up by THIS THURSDAY atMidnight... and I'll ship your CDs out to youright away. Get your notepad ready. You're going to be LOVEthese interviews... and more than that... you'regoing to LOVE the success with women thisinformation brings. Click on this link, and sign up now:http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10020/InterviewSeries/
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Tips to show u love her
1) Make sure you say 'I love you' at least once each day to the one u love. Listening to you saying those words again and again is all the emotional reassurance that your partner needs to keep that spark alive.
2) Give your mate an unexpected hug, a surprisingly romantic kiss, or a teasing tickle often. These are all ways of physically reinforcing those three important words.
3) Be spontaneous and surprising with unexpected notes, winking your lover away for an unexpected weekend alone, star-gazing together, taking a walk in the rain with one another...
4) Share memories by looking at old photographs and talking about memories you share together.
5) Schedule a day to just be leisurely together. Away from everyday tensions and work. Great for bonding.
6) Listen. First to each other. Pay attention when your partner says something. And next, listen together... could be Beethoven or even the news... the important thing is to share your likes and dislikes.
7) Share why you love your lover. Nothing boosts your partner's morale faster than this. No wonder it works every time.
8) Give the gift of your time by performing trivial chores for your lover, such as folding clothes, running an errand, washing the car, etc.
9) Don't forget anniversaries and birthdays. Never. Nothing brings about the crumbling of an affair faster than this.
10) Smile. Often. At each other, for no reason at all, together at something else...
11) Blow your partner a kiss from across the room - this is the most romantic gesture that the French ever discovered.
12) Dance with your lover in your own living room. Plan a surprise, if you can. the minute your partner walks into the room, the music goes on. So do the lights, and you waltz into his or her arms. There is something very romantic about waltzing in your own house.
13) Hold hands. Yet another simple action, but great for sustaining a relationship.
14) Plan and cook a meal together. And eat it over candlelight.
15) Send love notes to each other... keeps you on his or her mind even when out of sight. These days, SMSes have taken over, and people have forgotten how to write those cute little handwritten notes to each other. But the fact is, nothing beats them when it comes to the sheer romanticism, and of course, communication.
Where to leave those love notes...
On an egg in the refrigerator
Inside a book your spouse is reading
On the refrigerator door
On your mate's pillow
In one of your lover's shoes
On the computer or television
On the dashboard of your lover's car
Inside your partner's favourite glass
In one of your partner's drawers
Tucked inside a CD or DVD plastic sleeve
On the bathroom mirror
Via email or cell phone message
Inside one of the coat pockets
Inside your spouse's lunch box
Inside your mate's favourite bag of chips or a package of cookies
2) Give your mate an unexpected hug, a surprisingly romantic kiss, or a teasing tickle often. These are all ways of physically reinforcing those three important words.
3) Be spontaneous and surprising with unexpected notes, winking your lover away for an unexpected weekend alone, star-gazing together, taking a walk in the rain with one another...
4) Share memories by looking at old photographs and talking about memories you share together.
5) Schedule a day to just be leisurely together. Away from everyday tensions and work. Great for bonding.
6) Listen. First to each other. Pay attention when your partner says something. And next, listen together... could be Beethoven or even the news... the important thing is to share your likes and dislikes.
7) Share why you love your lover. Nothing boosts your partner's morale faster than this. No wonder it works every time.
8) Give the gift of your time by performing trivial chores for your lover, such as folding clothes, running an errand, washing the car, etc.
9) Don't forget anniversaries and birthdays. Never. Nothing brings about the crumbling of an affair faster than this.
10) Smile. Often. At each other, for no reason at all, together at something else...
11) Blow your partner a kiss from across the room - this is the most romantic gesture that the French ever discovered.
12) Dance with your lover in your own living room. Plan a surprise, if you can. the minute your partner walks into the room, the music goes on. So do the lights, and you waltz into his or her arms. There is something very romantic about waltzing in your own house.
13) Hold hands. Yet another simple action, but great for sustaining a relationship.
14) Plan and cook a meal together. And eat it over candlelight.
15) Send love notes to each other... keeps you on his or her mind even when out of sight. These days, SMSes have taken over, and people have forgotten how to write those cute little handwritten notes to each other. But the fact is, nothing beats them when it comes to the sheer romanticism, and of course, communication.
Where to leave those love notes...
On an egg in the refrigerator
Inside a book your spouse is reading
On the refrigerator door
On your mate's pillow
In one of your lover's shoes
On the computer or television
On the dashboard of your lover's car
Inside your partner's favourite glass
In one of your partner's drawers
Tucked inside a CD or DVD plastic sleeve
On the bathroom mirror
Via email or cell phone message
Inside one of the coat pockets
Inside your spouse's lunch box
Inside your mate's favourite bag of chips or a package of cookies
Monday, January 01, 2007
on flirting
Flirting FascinationThe science of flirting. The capacity of men and women to flirt turns out to be a remarkable set of behaviors embedded deep in our psyches. By:
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Joann Ellison Rodgers
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Exactly how do we signal our amorous interest and intent in each other? It's been trivialized, even demonized, but the coquettish behavior indulged in by men and women alike is actually a vital silent language exchanging critical-and startling-information about our general health and reproductive fitness.
"She was," he proclaimed, "so extraordinarily beautiful that I nearly laughed out loud. She... [was] famine, fire, destruction and plague... the only true begetter. Her breasts were apocalyptic, they would topple empires before they withered... her body was a miracle of construction... She was unquestionably gorgeous. She was lavish. She was a dark, unyielding largesse. She was, in short, too bloody much... Those huge violet blue eyes... had an odd glint... Aeons passed, civilizations came and went while these cosmic headlights examined my flawed personality. Every pockmark on my face became a crater of the moon."
So Richard Burton described his first sight of a 19-year-old Elizabeth Taylor. He didn't record what happened next, but a growing cadre of scientists would bet their lab coats and research budgets that sometime after that breath-catching, gut-gripping moment of instant mutual awareness, Liz tossed her hair, swayed her hips, arched her feet, giggled, gazed wide-eyed, flicked her tongue over her lips and extended that apocalyptic chest, and that Dick, for his part, arched his back, stretched his pecs, imperceptibly swayed his pelvis in a tame Elvis performance, swaggered, laughed loudly, tugged his tie and clasped the back of his neck, which had the thoroughly engaging effect of stiffening his stance and puffing his chest.
What eventually got these two strangers from across the fabled crowded room to each other's side was what does it for all of us-in a word, flirtation, the capacity to automatically turn our actions into sexual semaphores signaling interest in the opposite sex as predictably and instinctively as peacocks tan their tails, codfish thrust their pelvic fins or mice twitch their noses and tilt their backs to draw in the object of their attention.
Long trivialized and even demonized, flirtation is gaining new respectability thanks to a spate of provocative studies of animal and human behavior in many parts of the world. The capacity of men and women to flirt and to be receptive to flirting turns out to be a remarkable set of behaviors embedded deep in our psyches. Every come-hither look sent and every sidelong glance received are mutually understood signals of such transcendent history and beguiling sophistication that only now are they beginning to yield clues to the psychological and biological wisdom they encode.
This much is clear so far: flirting is nature's solution to the problem every creature faces in a world full of potential mates-how to choose the right one. We all need a partner who is not merely fertile but genetically different as well as healthy enough to promise viable offspring, provide some kind of help in the hard job of parenting and offer some social compatibility.
Our animal and human ancestors needed a means of quickly and safely judging the value of potential mates without "going all the way" and risking pregnancy with every possible candidate they encountered. Flirting achieved that end, offering a relatively risk-free set of signals with which to sample the field, try out sexual wares and exchange vital information about candidates' general health and reproductive fitness.
Page 1 of 8 Next >> Publication: Psychology Today MagazinePublication Date: Jan/Feb 1999Last Reviewed: 19 Jan 2006 (Document ID: 575)
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-19990101-000033.html
Find a therapistnear you.
Enter your City or Zip:
ARTICLE TOOLS
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document.write('Most Popular');
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Friendship: The Laws of Attraction
Beyond Betrayal: Life After Infidelity
The Creative Self
Inside the heart of marital violence
The Atheist Who Came to Christmas
The Atheist Who Came to Christmas
The call of solitude
The Right Way to Ritual Kvetch
Sexuality: Your Telltale Fingertips
Crack Me Up
initializetabcontent("articletabs");
Email Print
Joann Ellison Rodgers
Page 1 of 8
Exactly how do we signal our amorous interest and intent in each other? It's been trivialized, even demonized, but the coquettish behavior indulged in by men and women alike is actually a vital silent language exchanging critical-and startling-information about our general health and reproductive fitness.
"She was," he proclaimed, "so extraordinarily beautiful that I nearly laughed out loud. She... [was] famine, fire, destruction and plague... the only true begetter. Her breasts were apocalyptic, they would topple empires before they withered... her body was a miracle of construction... She was unquestionably gorgeous. She was lavish. She was a dark, unyielding largesse. She was, in short, too bloody much... Those huge violet blue eyes... had an odd glint... Aeons passed, civilizations came and went while these cosmic headlights examined my flawed personality. Every pockmark on my face became a crater of the moon."
So Richard Burton described his first sight of a 19-year-old Elizabeth Taylor. He didn't record what happened next, but a growing cadre of scientists would bet their lab coats and research budgets that sometime after that breath-catching, gut-gripping moment of instant mutual awareness, Liz tossed her hair, swayed her hips, arched her feet, giggled, gazed wide-eyed, flicked her tongue over her lips and extended that apocalyptic chest, and that Dick, for his part, arched his back, stretched his pecs, imperceptibly swayed his pelvis in a tame Elvis performance, swaggered, laughed loudly, tugged his tie and clasped the back of his neck, which had the thoroughly engaging effect of stiffening his stance and puffing his chest.
What eventually got these two strangers from across the fabled crowded room to each other's side was what does it for all of us-in a word, flirtation, the capacity to automatically turn our actions into sexual semaphores signaling interest in the opposite sex as predictably and instinctively as peacocks tan their tails, codfish thrust their pelvic fins or mice twitch their noses and tilt their backs to draw in the object of their attention.
Long trivialized and even demonized, flirtation is gaining new respectability thanks to a spate of provocative studies of animal and human behavior in many parts of the world. The capacity of men and women to flirt and to be receptive to flirting turns out to be a remarkable set of behaviors embedded deep in our psyches. Every come-hither look sent and every sidelong glance received are mutually understood signals of such transcendent history and beguiling sophistication that only now are they beginning to yield clues to the psychological and biological wisdom they encode.
This much is clear so far: flirting is nature's solution to the problem every creature faces in a world full of potential mates-how to choose the right one. We all need a partner who is not merely fertile but genetically different as well as healthy enough to promise viable offspring, provide some kind of help in the hard job of parenting and offer some social compatibility.
Our animal and human ancestors needed a means of quickly and safely judging the value of potential mates without "going all the way" and risking pregnancy with every possible candidate they encountered. Flirting achieved that end, offering a relatively risk-free set of signals with which to sample the field, try out sexual wares and exchange vital information about candidates' general health and reproductive fitness.
Page 1 of 8 Next >> Publication: Psychology Today MagazinePublication Date: Jan/Feb 1999Last Reviewed: 19 Jan 2006 (Document ID: 575)
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-19990101-000033.html
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