on dating and fears of rejection

THE MAGIC FORMULA

So, let's take a few minutes and talk about theissues and what CAUSES them. Here are some of the "root causes", and how Isee them...1) Having no other options. If you're sitting at the phone with ONE phonenumber in your hand, and you haven't been out on adate in a long time, and you are feelingDESPERATE, you're probably going to get VERYnervous. When you have no other options, the single onein front of you becomes VERY valuable. Translation: You want it TOO badly. This AUTOMATICALLY triggers your emotionalsystem, because at some level you realize that ifyou screw this up, it's all over. And you knowthat it's all going to happen in just a fewSECONDS. The pressure is too much!2) Putting too much importance on a single girl. Now, if you have a girl that you've been datingfor six months, and you've decided that she's onein a million, it makes sense to put a lot ofimportance on your relationship with her. But, if you don't know a girl very well, or youhaven't even dated her at all, then you are onlysetting yourself up for major disappointment byputting too much importance on ANY girl.3) Thinking you need to IMPRESS her. This is a HUGE issue. Most men "subconsciously" behave andcommunicate like they're trying to IMPRESS thewoman of their desires. When you think about this, it only makessense... of course you'd want to impress the womanyou like... so she'll think you're a cool guy andwant to be with you. But have you ever thought for a moment how aninteresting, attractive woman sees it when a guyis TRYING to IMPRESS her? Well, here's the INSTANT and SUBCONSCIOUSresponse that women have:"He's trying too hard. There's something wrong.This guy must have something he's trying tohide... and he must be pretty insecure." In other words, the INSTANT you do something orsay something that is an obvious attempt atimpressing a woman, her radar system screams: "WUSSY!" By the way, this is really a much DEEPER issue.If you need to "evict your inner wussy", thentake a second and read THIS:http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10020/OnBeingAMan/4) Having expectations and being attached to them. You might think of this one as a variation of"wanting it too much"... only slightly different. When you start getting your hopes andexpectations up, you begin to get ATTACHED tothem. Then you run the risk of HOLDING ON TOO TIGHTto your little fantasy. Bad idea. Women don't date guys who assume too much, acttoo comfortable, or fall for them too quickly. Remember, beautiful women have guys falling forthem left and right. In fact, they almost EXPECT to go out onone or two dates with a guy and then say, "Youknow, I really like you..." or some other equallypredictable sentiment. Just like being desperate can destroy yourchances with a woman, liking a woman too much, toofast and creating expectations leads to crazy,stupid mistakes as well. Now, think over what I just said... I'm basically saying that if you want to curethe problem of freaking out when you call women toask them out and the problem of screwing it upwhen you have that first conversation and ask themout the first time, then you have to go INSIDEfirst... and do some preventative maintenance onyourself. And the GOOD NEWS is that this stuff is notonly good for you, it also helps you get even MOREdates with interesting women. So, here's what to do about this particularproblem:1) Get more options. If you go out one evening with a couple offriends, and you meet a REALLY hot girl... and youwind up having a fun conversation and getting hernumber, what should you do? RIGHT! Go get at least ONE MORE girl's number.More, if you can. This way, when you're picking up the phone tocall (or sending out emails, or whatever), you'vegot another woman to call right after her... In other words, if it doesn't go well, no bigdeal. No sweat at all. Instead of putting all your "hopes" in this onesituation, go get more options... this willprevent many problems as well as giving you morewomen to date! And think about it... when are you MOST likelyto get a woman's phone number? When are you mostlikely to be in a great mood that actuallyATTRACTS women? Exactly... in the moments after you've alreadygotten another woman's number. So take advantage of this time!2) Dial the phone expecting it to NOT work outwith this girl. I have news for you: Most women have somethingabout their personality, behavior, future plans,etc. that is going to disqualify them from beinggood "potential mates" for you. Now, I'm not saying that "all women are screwedup", etc. What I AM saying is that you need to realizethat the only reason you're freaking out so muchis because your EMOTIONS are running the show. You need to think about how rare it is that youactually meet a girl that is COMPATIBLE withyou... that you'd enjoy spending time with even ifshe wasn't good-looking. If you have this in mind as you're dialing thephone, you won't have that "I'm desperate" vibegoing on. You won't be talking like a guy who has a gunto his head either... which is a good thing...because women get weirded out by this kind ofthing.3) Instead of asking a woman out, tell her whatyou're doing, and then tell her she can come alongif she wants. Why is "asking a woman out" early on a badidea? Because if you don't have a world-classunderstanding of male/female dynamics, you'regoing to come across as a guy who is trying to usefood as date-bait. In other words, if the first thing out of yourmouth is "I'd like to take you out to dinner" it'sgoing to be interpreted as "I don't think you'reprobably going to accept an invitation to spendtime with me unless I throw in somethingextra...". Weak. And that's how SHE sees it. The alternative? Tell her that you're going to be doingsomething and that she should join you. "Hey, I'm going to go down to Starbucks and geta cup of tea. You should join me. I'm way more funthan whatever else you were going to do... andthat's a fact!" Extra bonus points: Hint that she's missing out if she doesn'taccept immediately. If she hems and haws, or hesitates... justinterrupt and say, "Hey, you're the one who'smissing out". I also like "You know, never mind. I guess youdon't like to have fun...". Great stuff! This is solid Cocky & Funny material, and it'sthe right time to use it. You know, I personally used to get VERY freakedout when calling women for the first time on thephone... and "asking them out". Now that I understand this particular "momentin time" better, and now that I understand more ofthe "dynamics" of what's going on, I get MUCHbetter results personally... In fact, I never get "nervous" anymore whencalling women, and I rarely if EVER have a woman"flake out" on me. Now, in this newsletter I've shared a fewpoints to help you get better results in thisparticular area. Use them. They'll definitely helpyou. You should read this newsletter right beforeyou call every one of the next 10 women youmeet... in fact. But as you can probably tell, this is just oneof MANY important facets of success with women. In fact, this is just scratching the surface ofthe skills you'll need if you want to haveCONSISTENT success with the most DESIRABLE women. The reality of this situation is that if youwant to take control of this area of your lifeand not walk helpless with women anymore, you'regoing to need to take more steps to get yourselfeducated on this topic. And what's the best way to do that quickly,easily and without spending years of time andlots of money learning the HARD WAY? My Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.This program will take you step-by-step throughall the key theories, concepts, and techniquesyou'll need to start meeting and dating more womenstarting IMMEDIATELY. And here's another interesting benefit thatcomes from going through my Advanced DatingTechniques program... It actually CHANGES HOW YOU SEE THE WORLD. The first time you listen to it or watch it,you'll be hitting your head saying "Ah ha! Ah ha!"the whole time. All of those things that have happened to youwith women will start to make sense. All of the times you screwed up will stopbothering you, because you'll "get" whathappened... and all of the times that thingsworked will also make sense. Of course, you'll also be shaking your head asyou learn some of the most amazing techniques forapproaching women, getting numbers, getting datesand taking things to a more "physical level" thathave ever been created (For example, I share allof my own personal favorite "pick up lines" thatwork better than anything I've ever heard of forapproaching women... and I don't share theseanywhere else except in my intensive liveseminars). But, one of the REAL benefits comes AFTER yougo through it. This is when the real MAGIC startsto happen. When you're out at restaurants watching thecouple at the next table, you'll UNDERSTAND whatis happening. When a woman starts doing something subtle thatyou would have never noticed before, you'll SEEit... and she'll SEE that you see it... and youwill instantly be talking to her on a DIFFERENTLEVEL... all because you know something that mostother guys don't. When you encounter "resistance" or "problems"or "tests" from women, you will no longer need toget nervous or upset, because you'll know what TODO about it... and when you actually DO the rightthing you'll see that problem disappear. The point that I'm trying to make is that thiseducation will not only teach you techniques formeeting women, it will also give you a new POWERthat you never had before. I can honestly say to you that if this programwere available five or so years ago when I startedlearning this stuff, I would have gladly tradedANYTHING I owned for it... or paid any amount ofmoney. But it wasn't, so I had to take YEARS figuringall of this stuff out for myself. This program is priceless, and it's worth atleast ten times what you'll invest for it. As youprobably know, you can order it WITHOUT RISK aswell. Order and try it at no cost to you. In other words, order it now, go through itand test it all out. If you're not happy, justsend it back and say "no thanks". No questions, nohassles. I'm that confident that it will take yoursuccess with women to a whole new level. All the details, plus some great samples arehere:http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10020/AdvancedSeries/