Why is it that so many guys act like WUSSIES around women?

Well, there are a lot of reasons. For some guys, it's an AUTOMATIC, PROGRAMMED response. See cute girl, act like Wussbag. A lot of guys have learned that being "nice" topeople makes them "like" you. Unfortunately, no one has ever told most of usguys that making a woman LIKE you isn't veryimportant. Making a woman feel ATTRACTION for you IS. Evicting the "Inner Wussy" isn't always easyfor guys. Some of us LOVE our Inner Wuss. We're proud of how sweet, thoughtful, loving,and clingy we are. Most guys think of their Inner Wuss in aPOSITIVE LIGHT. We humans don't like to admit that what we'vebeen doing for most of our lives was WRONG. That'sanother reason. It takes a lot for most guys is to SEE WITHTHEIR OWN TWO EYES how NOT being a Wuss affectswomen... and how it makes women RESPONDdifferently. Once you realize how your Inner Wussy is makingwomen RUN away from you, it gets easier to EVICTit.

Women say things like: "He's sexy"... "There's chemistry betweenus"...

"I really feel something for him"... etc. And also remember: If a woman feels a strongATTRACTION for you, then the rest of the equationisn't as important. If she feels it, she'll go outof her way to find good reasons to be with you...even if you're not her "physical type".

On the other hand, no amount of gifts, favors,dinners, kindness, or a good family will make herfeel ATTRACTION... at best these things can onlymake her feel a more "loyal" kind of love. So, if women don't like "average" guys and themost important thing is to make her feelATTRACTION towards you, then how do you do it?

I thought you'd never ask... Let's talk about the word "average" and what itREALLY means. As far as women are concerned, and especiallythe ATTRACTIVE ones, men are EVERYWHERE. They'relike cars. Every once in awhile one stands out andmakes you say, "Oh, that one is nice." A lot of guys take this concept too far and say"Well, I'm not rich, and I'm not famous... so, noreally hot woman is going to find me attractive."

My experience and research has shown me thatwomen are far more ATTRACTED to things likeattitude, confidence, body language, humor, etc.than looks or money. Sure, those things mightINITIALLY get a woman's attention, and there arethose women that will only settle for a rich orunusually handsome guy... but, this is the extrememinority. In fact, it's very easy to be seen as "aboveaverage" if you know what women are looking for,and you know how to deliver. Remember the danger: If you are perceived as"average" early on, then a switch goes off in hermind, and the game will be over before it's evenbegun.

So, let's do a little exercise... Let's figure out two things:1) What most guys do that women see as "average",and...2) What you can do to instantly be seen as "ABOVEaverage" and, most importantly, ATTRACTIVE. First, let's talk about what most guys do inmost situations (more specifically, what most guysdo WRONG). Here are some of the things that I'veseen... If the setting is a bar or a club, most guyswill either say, "Can I buy you a drink?", "Wannadance?", or "Hey baby, how YOU doin'?"... or theydo crass things like stare at women with wantingeyes or grab them as they walk by.

If the setting is a public place, like maybe awoman working at a clothing store, a waitress, orsome other similar high-traffic situation, mostguys will ask a lame question like "Do you have aboyfriend?" or "Can I take you out sometime?" Ugh.

These kinds of approaches can only result inyou being seen as another lame, average guy. Here are a few ideas to try instead...

If you're in a bar or club setting, try askinga woman or a group of women THEIR OPINION onsomething. I personally like this one: "Hey, my friends and I were talking and we needa female perspective... What do you ladies thinkabout this new trend of women being proud ofpaying their own way and buying their own things?Like the Destiny's Child song "Independent Woman?"

Women will usually ENTHUSIASTICALLY join into aconversation like this one. (I personally likethis topic because it starts off by talking aboutwomen taking care of themselves in a positivelight, which sets the stage for not having to payfor a lot of things right up front!) A quick note: Any conversation topic can beturned into flirting and there is a very specialART to this. If you want to learn how to reallybecome a master of taking any conversation topicand turning it into ATTRACTION, then you reallyneed to go and check this out right now:http://DoubleYourDatingSystem.com/e//SexualCommunication/?cid=8VZZZV&lid=2


If you're out in a public place, at a storewhere a woman is working or some other high-traffic place, you might try something like this: After chatting about whatever business you'redoing there say, "Hey, are you single?" I love this question! It's such a shocker, andit says all the right things. Most guys say, "Doyou have a boyfriend?" which is the usualquestion. "Are you single?" is much more forward,and most women have to do a double take to thinkfor a moment. If she pauses, I say, "I'll take that as aYES...", which is pretty funny and usually gets alaugh.

In either of these cases, it's now time to getthe digits and get out. You already know that I'mnot a fan of standing around and trying to keep aconversation going for any longer than you haveto. So, after two or three minutes of small talkand general conversation, just go into the "3Minute Phone Number" close that you've learned inan earlier newsletter or in my book... Say, "It was nice talking to you, I'm going toget back to my friends... (or shopping, orwhatever)" and as you turn away, turn back and say"Do you have email...?" etc.

These two scenarios are obviously very simple,and also very easy. I've had guys say to me,"Well, there's nothing really that different aboutthose approaches." Ah, but there is. The most important difference is that you'redoing something COMPLETELY different than theother 47 guys who have approached her that day...and you also know EXACTLY what you're going to doand say and the conversation progresses.

Of course, another thing you can do that willINSTANTLY separate you from the rest of the crowdis to use the idea of being "Cocky & Funny", whichI teach in my eBook "Double Your Dating" and in myAdvanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program. This very unique approach has helped many of mythousands of readers to dramatically increasetheir success with women... and to no longer beseen as AVERAGE by women.

If you haven't learned how to use the almostMAGICAL formula of being Cocky & Funny, or any ofthe literally hundreds of other techniques Iteach, then you really need to get yourself a copyof my online eBook and a copy of my AdvancedDating Techniques program. These two tools will DRAMATICALLY increase yoursuccess with women and dating.

You can download my online eBook here rightnow:http://DoubleYourDatingSystem.com/e//eBook

what american women want

Ask the average man what women want and what would the answer be?
I asked a few unsuspecting colleagues. Here's what they said...

"The moon on a stick?" came the first reply, swiftly followed by: "Oh, I don’t know, security?"Happily, I can report that 9 out of 10 males met my question with a sensible answer.

"To be made a fuss of," replied one. "Cuddles and reassurance," said another. The youngest of my male co-workers (a baby-faced 23-year-old geek) pondered for a few moments then said: "All women are different, so it would depend on the individual." Hmm.

Almost every man I asked had a reasonable answer to give. I bravely turned to the office joker. "Hey, Rich, what is it that women really want?" I shouted across the office. "To be loved and cared for," came the straight-faced reply. Suddenly it seemed the conversation had turned serious.

Next I asked women what men want. There was no hesitation here. "Sex," came the resounding answer. Surely men aren’t all that predictable? My married female friend gave it some thought then said: "No, you’re right, they also want food and TV."

We want the same thing So what do women want? A rich husband? Security and reassurance? A man who loves clothes shopping? No, women want the same thing that men want – to feel loved, respected and desired. So where’s the problem? The answer lies in communication.

Men and women want the same things but they tend to express their love, respect and desire in different ways, which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. I’m not suggesting that men are from Mars and women from Venus. The language barrier is no longer intergalactic. I like to think of it more as a West Country twang that can sometimes make understanding directions difficult.

Imagine this scenario. Your partner gets home after a stressful day at work and collapses on to the sofa. Do you give them a cuddle, ask them how their day was, chat about the next-door neighbours or pour them a large gin and tonic? While women often want to talk about what’s on their mind, many men prefer to be left alone for an hour or so. It’s not that they are emotionally closed off – it’s how they re-charge their batteries.

Learn to speak female
Men also need to learn the female dialect. When asked "Does my bum look big in this?" should a man reply with total honesty? There are ways to tell your beloved that a dress is less than flattering. Compare "You’re sexy whatever you wear but I think you look more gorgeous in the red dress" with "Yes, you could lose a few pounds".

What is important is knowing what makes your other half tick. There is nothing wrong in asking what they would like – although women may be likely to say: "You don’t really care for me or you’d know already without me having to tell you." My only advice to men is to become experts at observation. Remembering dates and details may sound like a female trait – but the good news is that if you men show a little thoughtfulness your partner will at least notice!

Show signs of your affection every day. If your partner likes a cup of tea in the morning then making them one will act as your sign of affection.

We all have little things that mean a lot to us – make a little effort every day if you want to keep your woman – or man – happy.

a lick and a promise

In some things, a lick and a promise will do.
But when it comes to sex – specifically, oral sex – you better back up the promise of pleasure with something much more significant and effective than a simple lick.
In fact, your tongue needs to perform like
a silk brush creating a museum masterpiece.

And I can tell you how it’s done.

Because the art of going down on a woman – performing cunnilingus – is just that… an art. And before you can master it, you need to understand it.

cunnilingus is something every woman wants…

… which means it’s something every
man needs to know.

Yet despite the fact that the vast majority of intimate couples either engage in, or experiment with, the act of cunnilingus on a regular basis…

This isn’t something you’ll read about anywhere else.

This isn’t information that anyone you
know will ever share with you.

Nor is it something your lover will tell
you, because chances are she doesn’t even
know it herself.

She doesn’t need to understand it.

But you do.

The fine art of going down on a woman is something you need to
know if you want to understand:

• what your woman wants from you in bed
• how she wants it
• when she wants it
• how to give it to her
• how to avoid embarrassing or sometimes painful mistakes
• how to debunk commonly-held beliefs about the art of cunnilingus
• how to have her coming back for more, again and again…

A personal message from “the world’s most romantic man,” Michael Webb:
Hey Guys –
I know what you’re thinking. An instructional book about going down on a woman? Really? Whatever for? It’s a natural act, something to figure out with your lover in the heat of the moment. Perhaps you’ve even done your fair share of it and you’ve had no complaints so far, right?
Maybe.
But chances are it’s more like this: you do your best, but you don’t really understand the physical structure of a woman’s genitals to the extent required to maximize her pleasure, or even to avoid painful mistakes. Maybe she comes, maybe she doesn’t – maybe she even fakes her orgasms – but you have no idea what you’re leaving on the table if you don’t explore all the options available.
And if you think you know how it’s done from the adult movies you’ve seen, think again. Because in your bedroom there are no cameras and no director telling you to shift positions because of the lighting. No, there’s only you and your woman, and no one is going to yell “cut!” when something isn’t going right… except, perhaps, her.
You owe it to her to find out. And you owe it to yourself, too, because we both know that the rewards of making a woman happy, and those don’t require an instructional book to understand.
There’s an old saying about healthy relationships: when the sex is good, it’s only about 10% of the relationship. When it’s bad, it’s 90%. Anything in-between is a compromise, and I’m betting this is an area in which you don’t want to settle. Not when there’s a way to learn how to master the thing your woman wants from you more than anything else.
Did you know that…
• there are 8,000 nerve endings in a woman’s clitoris? More than on the head of a penis or any other part of the human body? With something that sensitive, you better know what you’re doing before you go poking around, especially with your tongue.
• 88% of married women say cunnilingus is their preferred form of sexual activity?
• 81% of women regularly achieve orgasm from cunnilingus, versus
only 25% from traditional vaginal penetration?
• only 60% of women say they enjoy vaginal sex at all?
• only 7.7% of women who experience more than 21 minutes of properly rendered foreplay fail to reach an orgasm? That’s over nine out of ten women who do experience an orgasm when their lover understands a woman’s body and how to drive it to new heights of ecstasy.
- Masters and Johnson
These are sobering numbers for men who are paying attention. Because they tell us what women really want from us, and it can be summed up as follows:
They want us to go down on them.
And they want us to do it right.
And that’s where I come in.
Because I’ve talked to hundreds of women and studied the physiological science, and where cunnilingus is concerned, there is no debate. There is a right way and a wrong way to go down on a woman.
And where women are concerned, anything in the middle is the wrong way.
In “Lick By Lick” – How To Go Down on a Woman
And Have Her Begging For More
you’ll learn…

• how to break through her self-consciousness barrier while overcoming your own inhibitions about cunnilingus
• how to recognize and navigate the 8 components of the female genitalia with your tongue, and make them love it
• how to tell if she’s enjoying herself just by watching and listening
• 8 questions to ask to determine what she really wants
• 9 tips for getting her ready for you, and for it
• 5 ways to set the romantic stage for cunnilingus
• 4 techniques to prepare her body for your most intimate attention

All this, and you haven’t even touched
her with your tongue…
… yet.

And then comes the best part…

• 10 sensuous oral techniques that will drive her absolutely wild with pleasure
• advanced variations and tips to make her even hotter
• how to find her G-spot and make it your new best friend
• how to experiment with new positions that enhance pleasure and add variation to your lovemaking
• how to use toys to enhance her pleasure
• what not to do, ever, and why

There’s more to mastering the
art of cunnilingus than knowing
where to put your tongue.

Even more than knowing what to do
with it once you put it there.

Anything worth doing is worth doing right, especially when it comes to making love to a woman. And where cunnilingus is concerned, there are factors involved that create a context of pleasure – or not – that an enlightened partner needs not only to understand, but to be able to discuss, embrace, and sometimes work around.
Sometimes we are intimate with our partners over time, sometimes we may barely know them. This can define the landscape of the issues encountered, and it may dictate the way you approach the prospect of going down on her. In either case, though – whether she’s your wife of many years or someone you’ve met only recently – the enlightened male lover needs to understand much more than the art of orgasms.

In “Lick By Lick” -- How To Go Down
on A Woman And Have Her Begging For More…

… you’ll also learn:

• how to handle the issue of menstruation and oral sex
• how to remain safe against sexually-transmitted disease
• how and when to discuss cunnilingus with her in a way that makes her feel safe, and perhaps excited
• how to master the critical art of timing during foreplay and cunnilingus

For a woman, receiving oral sex from
her lover is the ultimate in pleasure.

When you demonstrate that you understand
and appreciate this, you will become
the ultimate lover.

About the author…
Who better to mentor you in the fine art of pleasuring a woman than a man who, in his quest to become the world’s most loving husband, discovered the secrets of cunnilingus that has earned him the reputation as “the world’s most romantic man.” *
Meet the man who wants every guy to have “Lick by Lick - How To Go Down on A Woman And Have Her Begging For More” …
… Michael Webb
Michael Webb loves women. Not only that, he understands them. He grew up in a home with six sisters and a mother who all suffered abuse at the hands of men. Witnessing their pain he vowed to become the kind of man his sisters and his mother dreamed of having but never had.
And he succeeded beyond even his wildest imagination:
• his site, www.TheRomantic.com, is one of the most popular such sites on the internet, with over 20 million annual visitors
• he is the publisher of three internet newsletters on love and romance, reaching over 200,000 subscribers
• he is the author of twelve best-selling books on romance, dating and relationships
• he as appeared on over 500 radio and television shows
Read what the press has to say about Michael Webb and his work:
"Meet the most romantic husband in America. If you think men have a hard time showing their lovey-dovey side, you haven’t met Michael Webb. He’s so good at it, he actually teaches other guys!"- Woman’s World
"Helps men bring back the sizzle in their relationships" - Fort Wayne Journal Gazette
"Sorry ladies, this gem of a husband (Michael Webb) is reserved for a long, long time."- The Sunday Portland Oregonian
"He’s discovered the secrets to keeping passion alive. They go beyond the ordinary shtick of sending flowers or buying candy." - Houston Chronicle
"The master of romance." - Dallas Morning News
These are just a few of the reviews Michael Webb has received for his many writings on love, romance and the art of making love to a woman.
When you read “Lick By Lick - How To Go Down on A Woman
And Have Her Begging For More,” you joins the millions of people who already know what you’ve just discovered: this guy knows women. And he knows how to teach men to understand them and their needs, too.

___________________________________________________
Doesn’t the woman in your life
deserve the very best you have to give?
If there was someone offering to show the woman in your life how to take you to new heights of pleasure, wouldn’t you want her to listen?
Then what are you waiting for? Order your copy of this exciting new ebook…
“Lick By Lick”
How To Go Down on A Woman
And Have Her Begging For More
today!
For a limited time, this ebook can be yours for the special introductory price of just $37
It is NOT available in bookstores - only on this website and it comes with a MONEY BACK GUARANTEE should you not be satisfied.

love tips of the week

Do you like chocolate?
Do you like games?
Do you like hanky-panky?
Then you absolutely must check out the chocolate lovers dice:http://www.covenantspice.com/games.html................................................................~~~

Letters to the Editor ~~~Just thought I would let you know that my husband is very happy about my discovery (from you) that tightening my muscles as he is ejaculating intensifies his experience. - Nicole................................................................


~~~ Tips of the Week ~~~Make some photocopies of your diary entries that describe your lovemaking exploits and send them to your spouse at their office.}{}{}{}{

You can have a quickie in any room in the house.
Just bend over(support your self on the kitchen counter, dresser, table, you name it)
and let him go for it with his mouth or hot rod.

}{}{}{}{
Take the time to give your lovers feet special attention. Geta pan of warm water and bathe their feet and then dry with asoft towel.}{}{}{}{
Once your darlings feet are clean, feel free to lick, suck and kiss it all over. Devote special attention to each toe and the area between the toes that is quite sensitive.

Turning love...making into a game is the easiest way to be able to do it more often with even great results. Here are some greatgame ideas:

http://www.covenantspice.com/games.html ~~~

The Power of Sexuality
What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex
by Hilda Hutcherson, M.D.

Ever wish you could have some "girl talk" with your gynecologist?

Here's your chance...

In her ob-gyn practice, Dr. Hilda Hutcherson has seen women of all ages who have questions about sex. Now, in this down-to-earth book, she answers those questions and more as she addresses every sexual matter that has an impact on the lives of women.

Combining up-to-date medical science with good old-fashioned girl talk, Dr. Hutcherson discusses sex in a lively tone that's as educational as it is engaging. With facts on female (and male) anatomy, aphrodisiacs, fantasy, orgasm, birth control, and more, she shows how to overcome sexual problems-and achieve sensational sensual experiences. Your mother may not have known what to tell you about sex, but Dr. Hutcherson will give you a real, honest education on sex and sexuality. And with a special chapter on talking to your daughter, you can pass your wisdom on to the next generation.

It was billed as the greatest day of my life by the man who was to be my husband. The room was toasty warm and filled with the sweet fragrance of roses. Soft music played. I'd planned for months for this moment. My "woman-of-the-world" roommate had taught me about birth control pills. I'd survived my very first visit to the university gynecologist. I was desperately in love and ready to give this perfect man the gift of my virginity.

He touched me slowly and gently. Softly. Lovingly. And as his hand brushed my breasts, my mother's "bad-girl" face appeared out of nowhere. "Good girls don't."..."Sex is only to please your husband."..."Don't let boys touch you."..."Keep your skirt down and your panties up." His hands touched my essence. Warm breath and moist kisses covered me. And as he neared my intact hymen, my preacher's "Thou-shalt-not" face materialized. "Fire and brimstone"..."Hell and damnation"..."Sin, sin, sin."

I dared not move. I dared not breathe. And just as Grandma's "Boys-are-no-good" face appeared, it was over.

"Are you all right?" He cradled me in his sweaty arms.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

I stared at the ceiling as silent tears scorched my face. Years would pass before I was confident enough to give myself permission to be a "bad girl" and celebrate the power of my sexuality.

The foundation of our sexuality and how we feel about sex is laid during childhood. Verbal and nonverbal messages from our parents, religious teachings, our culture and society all meld together to shape the sexual being that we are as adults. Traditionally it has been the job of the mother to teach daughters about sex; however, few women feel comfortable talking in detail about it. Don't blame Mom though, as it is unlikely that her mother was able to give her the complete story about sex. After all, mothers are a product of their environment. And many stories, myths, misconceptions, or complete silence have been passed down from generation to generation.

Most women assume that when it comes to the technique of lovemaking, their men will teach them all they need to know. What happens if your partner is a woman? What if your man doesn't have a clue? And who is teaching the men? Many boys learn about sex from their friends, and some depend on movies for the intimate details of making love.

In the twenty years that I have been an obstetrician and gynecologist, I have met thousands of women of every race, ethnic group, age, and socioeconomic class in America, and I have found that women's experience of sex is universal. We all share the same fears, myths, misconceptions, concerns, hang-ups, desires, needs, joys, and pleasures. Over the years, I have been asked time and time again to recommend a book that answered the basic questions that women have about sex. I studied what was available and found books that promised to teach you how to achieve hot sex, magnificent sex, mind-blowing sex, all-night sex, and incredibly outrageous sex. In my experience, most women would be happy if they got consistently satisfying, "good-enough" sex. A sprinkling of incredibly, outrageous, mind-blowing sex once in a while would be a wonderful bonus.

As women, we spend our lives thinking about and taking care of everyone else. Even when it comes to sex, many women feel that their partner's satisfaction is much more important than their own. Magazines at the checkout counters of every grocery store scream headlines expounding how to drive your man crazy in bed, how to make him beg for more, how to rope him, keep him, get him up, and get him off. Believe me, I agree that making your partner happy is important, but I also think that you need to spend just as much time and effort finding out how to increase the odds that you will be sexually satisfied as well. You must take responsibility for your own pleasure, because sexual satisfaction is your birthright.

Women are under a tremendous pressure to look perfect. When we fall short of society's look-of-the-moment, we don't feel attractive or sexy and have difficulty achieving the level of sexual pleasure that we are entitled to. Sadly many women are blind to the fact that the female body is beautiful. How did we allow "them" to convince us that women's bodies should look like that of a preadolescent boy? In an attempt to achieve a body type that is totally unnatural for most of us, we develop eating disorders, rob our bodies of nutrients, disturb our natural menstrual cycle, decrease our estrogen levels, and increase our levels of unhappiness and discontent. We worry about how we look during sex rather than how we feel. Often when I give a mirror to a woman to look at her sexual anatomy, she expresses displeasure and fails to appreciate the beauty, grace, power, and complexity of her female genitals. How did we allow "them" to convince us that our vaginas smell bad and have no feeling or that our vulvas are ugly or that the clitoris is the size of a small pea? Learning to love your self is the first step to enjoying sex and creating a fulfilling sex life. This book is written to give women the knowledge they need to begin to appreciate the wonders of female anatomy and sexuality. Chapters 1 and 2 take a look at the wondrous and exquisitely beautiful female body.

Ask a hundred women, "What is sex?", and it is likely that the majority will answer "intercourse." Yet many women receive no physical pleasure from intercourse. Expanding the definition of "sex" gives women options and the opportunity to find out what gives them the most pleasure. Chapters 4-12 present different ways that women may choose to express themselves sexually-and increase their sexual satisfaction.

In my practice, it is not unusual to see women who move between relationships with men and women during various life stages. According to the Hite Report, at least 17 percent of women have experienced sex at least once with another woman. Falling in love with a woman can be exhilarating and liberating but may sometimes be met with disapproval from family and others. Every woman, however, has the right to determine how she expresses her sexuality. In Chapters 7 and 9, I have included descriptions of specific sexual techniques that can be used when making love to a woman. And though this book is written primarily for women in opposite-sex relationships, most of the information applies equally to women-loving-women. It is impossible to cover the many dimensions of same-sex relationships and sexuality in this book, so I refer the reader to two excellent books listed in the resources section.

One of the keys to healthy sexuality is a healthy body. Chapters 13-15 discuss strategies for improving your sex life by improving your health and taking control of your body.

Female sexuality is not static; it changes over your lifetime. Pregnancy and menopause can significantly change the way a woman expresses her sexuality. Chapters 16 and 17 discuss how to keep the fires burning through these important life stages. Chapter 18 provides tools you can use to help your daughter grow up sexually healthy as well as happy and secure with her sexuality. We can break the cycle of myths, misconceptions, and untruths about female sexuality.

Satisfying sex can prolong your life and has been shown to decrease your blood pressure, decrease stress, strengthen your heart, and boost your immune system. Yet according to the NHSLS (National Health and Social Life Survey), 43 percent of women have sexual dysfunction. Mainstream medical journals have featured articles expounding the importance of sexual satisfaction in women's health and encouraging doctors to investigate the sexual problems of women. Pharmaceutical companies and researchers are working furiously to find a magic pill that will guarantee sexual ecstasy for every woman. While the attention to women's sexual issues is welcome, it is important that we don't make sex one more disease that needs to be treated. Chapters 19-22 discuss the many reasons that sex may not be great and offer tips to help you improve your sex life.

The keys to great sex are simple: feeling good about yourself, understanding how your body works-and that of your partner, knowledge of basic sexual techniques, willingness to experiment and ask for what you want, and, of course, caring and respect from your partner.

Next »

go here

We all need sex as much as we need food

Anonymous said...
Okay… My apologies, but back to one of my pet peeves. We have all heard plenty about the church sex abuse scandals, but this factoid blew me away:From the 1950s to 2003, the Archdiocese of Portland paid about $53 million on 130 claims of sex abuse by clergy…Holy fuckin’ shit. Man. And to think that Xians are still preaching to people that abstinence is the best form of birth control, and that condoms are bad. What a bunch of (non)fucking liars. If this is what abstinence does to priests, what does it do to everyone else? Um. The same thing? Fuck with people’s heads? I have mentioned this in a comment before: in the book “Schrader on Schrader”, about acclaimed writer/director Paul Schrader (he wrote “Taxi Driver”), the filmmaker talks about how many of his characters, like Yukio Mishima and Travis Bickle, have one major cause for their mental illness: what he and Martin Scorsese dubbed D.S.B. (”Dangerous Sperm Backup”). In short, they really need to get laid. Schrader knows his topic. Poor bastard was raised Calvinist [From “Schrader on Schrader”: fold your hands over your torso when you go to sleep at night — that way there is less chance that you will accidentally touch your genitals in your sleep, thereby commiting a sin. Ack!].How much sex was John Hinckley (who, ironically, was inspired by Jodie Foster’s character in “Taxi Driver”) getting when he shot Reagan? I mean, not to be judgmental, but look at the poor bastard. Mark David Chapman, the guy who shot John Lennon, also looks like he was keeping himself spiffy for a girlfriend, doesn’t he?[By the way, I know I am citing only male cases, but society doesn’t have a whole lot of examples of female assassins and child abusers, now does it?]And yeah. Protestant clergy have been caught molesting, too — and they’re allowed to have sex. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t repressed. As we have mentioned before, note the great Monty Python bit on the subject.I just haven’t seen a lot of sex-positive, properly sexually educated people getting busted for molesting children. I live right down the street from the famous Good Vibrations. I will go on record and say I highly doubt that we’re ever gonna see any of the folks who work there shooting famous people or groping kids. From Carl Sagan, in “Cosmos”:Mammals characteristically nuzzle, fondle, hug, caress, pet, groom and love their young, behavior essentially unknown among the reptiles. If it is really true that the R complex and limbic systems live in an uneasy truce within our skulls and still partake of their ancient predilections, we might expect affectionate parental indulgence to encourage our mammalian natures, and the absence of physical affection to prod reptilian behavior. There is some evidence that this is the case. In laboratory experiments, Harry and Margaret Harlow found that monkeys raised in cages and physically isolated - even though they could see, hear and smell their simian fellows - developed a range of morose, withdrawn, self-destructive and otherwise abnormal characteristics. In humans the same is observed for children raised without physical affection - usually in institutions - where they are clearly in great pain.The neuropsychologist James W. Prescott has performed a startling cross-cultural statistical analysis of 400 preindustrial societies and found that cultures that lavish physical affection on infants tend to be disinclined to violence. Even societies without notable fondling of infants develop nonviolent adults, provided sexual activity in adolescents is not repressed. Prescott believes that cultures with a predisposition for violence are composed of individuals who have been deprived - during at least one of two critical stages in life, infancy and adolescence - of the pleasures of the body. Where physical affection is encouraged, theft, organized religion and invidious displays of wealth are inconspicuous; where infants are physically punished, there tends to be slavery, frequent killing, torturing and mutilation of enemies, a devotion to the inferiority of women, and a belief in one or more supernatural beings who intervene in daily life.We do not understand human behavior well enough to be sure of the mechanisms underlying these relationships, although we can conjecture. But the correlations are significant. Prescott writes: ‘The percent likelihood of a society becoming physically violent if it is physically affectionate toward its infants and tolerant of premarital sexual behavior is 2 percent. The probability of this relationship occurring by chance is 125,000 to one. I am not aware of any other developmental variable that has such a high degree of predictive validity.’ Infants hunger for physical affection; adolescents are strongly driven to sexual activity. If youngsters had their way, societies might develop in which adults have little tolerance for aggression, territoriality, ritual and social hierarchy (although in the course of growing up the children might well experience these reptilian behaviors). If Prescott is right, in an age of nuclear weapons and effective contraceptives, child abuse and severe sexual repression are crimes against humanity. More work on this provocative thesis is clearly needed. Meanwhile, we can each make a personal and noncontroversial contribution to the future of the world by hugging our infants tenderly.We love you, Carl. Hugs.http://gods4suckers.net/archives/2006/01/10/
8:33 PM

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