I justgraduated from high school, when i was in school iwas always shy around girls an didn't know what tosay, you've helped me open up my eyes to what ishould of been doing a long time ago. Now I've got2 girls that both want me , an i really dont knowhow to handle that. Any suggestions????? None ofmy friends are giving me any good answers. Imsure u have some. Help me out if u get a chance, udont gotta publish it in your emails u send toeveryone . I just really wanna know what to do, idont want to fu** this up. Any help would begreatly appreciated.
JF in Va.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, well it doesn't sound like too much of aproblem to me.
You have two girls that like you, what's theissue?!
You're going to have to decide if you'd like:
1) A relationship with one of them.
2) To be single and date both of them.
If you want a relationship, then pick the oneyou like and go out with her more than once aweek.
If you DON'T want a relationship right now,then don't see EITHER of them more than about oncea week (twice once in awhile is OK, but any morethan that and a woman will start to go intorelationship mode AUTOMATICALLY).
There is no problem with more than one womanliking you, the problem comes if you start beingdishonest and not-up-front in your dealings withthem. These are great problems to have, really... aslong as you don't screw it up by being a jackass.
***COMMENT FROM A READER***
There is a lot of guys that says:
"I want a woman to like me for "who I am"... "Idon't want to be pretending like I'm someoneelse..." "I want to "be myself"... I don't likethe idea of pretending to be someone that I'mnot..."
I was the typical Nice-Guy-Wussy-Clingy, but Ihave read your newsletter and I have downloadedyour book six months ago, and in six month I havedate more women than in six years, first I didn'tbelieve in being Cocky & Funny, but after tryingagain and again, I have a lot of success and thebest of all is that I FEEL that Cocky & Funny is apart of my personality, I ENJOY a lot being Cocky& Funny, but I'm not only C&F with the girls thatI meet, I'm C&F with my brother, sister, myfriends and with everyone !!! Thanks David, forall, It's like a dream , Thanks Again. Some Day Iwill shake your hand..
JP from Argentina
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Congratulations. You've figured something outthat a lot of guys NEVER get their entire lives...
You've realized that you can actually enjoyyourself and make Cocky and Funny, as well as theother techniques, a part of your personality.
I'm glad things are working out for you, and itwould be great to shake your hand one day (nokissing, though).
***QUESTION***
Hello,
I recently downloaded your e-book, and thatcombined with your email newsletters have helpedme land more email addresses/phone #s in the lastseveral months than the rest of my 24 year lifecombined. I now see some of the stuff I have beendoing wrong over the years and some things to doto correct my behavior and attitudes towardswomen. The cocky/funny attitude definitely works,when used in the right context. I still feelawkward since I'm fairly new at these new"techniques" but I know I am on the right track.
However, I have some challenging questions foryou. Getting a phone number or email address forme obviously hasn't been enough, and I'll explainwhy:
When I call a girl's phone number, I often don'tget through (yes, I remember your figure ofsomething like 1 in 3 times on average).Obviously if I want a date, I'll have to try againlater, or leave a message if she has voice mail.That leads me to the first question, should Ileave a (cocky/funny) message, or just try againlater? I am afraid that leaving a message forsomeone I hardly know might make me come off astoo desperate (so far I have NEVER gotten aresponse after leaving a message), but then when Icall again and again (within reason, I give itsome time between calls, and I won't try more thana couple times in a day) attempting to reach agirl in person, I'm afraid that she might havecaller ID and figure out that I kept calling her,which would also make me come across as needy anddesperate. Or, should I just give up, and move onto somebody else, even with the possibility thatthe girl I tried calling really likes me andsimply wasn't there to answer my call?
My second question is an even tougher one. Overthe summer I've emailed about 12 different girlsasking for dates. I will provide the text of atypical message in a minute here. However, I haveto date gotten ONE response back (there goes your60% theory...). I originally thought there must besomething wrong with my account, but then Irealized my emails get prompt responses from otherfriends and family members, so I don't think thisis the case (only once did I get a "deliveryfailure" notification). So...what is going onhere--am I just having an incredibly bad streak ofluck, or am I doing something drastically wrong?And if the latter, what is it--am I coming off asa wuss, does my email address turn them off, orwhat? Now, here is what I said in one of mymessages (this is a typical example):
(Girl's name), It was nice meeting you at themeteorology picnic, and welcome to the department.I'm curious to know what you're taking as anundergrad, as I came here straight for thegraduate program.
I'll have a lot of things to do over the nextcouple of days, but let's try and get togetherlater this weekend--and we can have some fun andget to know each other better. (My name)
I think that was a pretty good email, although Iwonder if maybe I should have asked for her numbertoo... anyway I'll leave it up to you to analyze.
One final question: Should I always get a girl'sphone number or email address in the firstmeeting, if I am sure I will see her again? Forexample, at the picnic aformentioned in my emailexample, I met another cute girl at the end of theevening (she's in my academic department, so Iknow I'll see her again eventually), but she wasleaving, I was already on my way to my car, and myhands were completely full with food. Thus itwould have been totally inconvenient and awkwardto stop and write down an email address or phonenumber. Is it better just to hold off in certainsituations like this one?
Anyways...thanks for any help and advice you cangive me.
N.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, let's start with the good...
Great job getting more email addresses andnumbers lately than in the last 24 YEARS!... lol.
You mention above that you've read my book, butwhat you've said above leads me to believe thatyou didn't really pay much attention when you did.
I'm not even going to address your issue ofcalling women, as you should probably be focusingon emailing first.
I guess I'm confused, because you ask foradvice about what to do when calling, then yousend me a sample EMAIL to critique. OK, aboutthe email...
Let's start with "It was nice meeting you atthe METEOROLOGY picnic, and welcome to thedepartment..."
What kind of lame opening is this?
Then we have, "I'm curious to know what you'retaking as an undergrad, as I came straight for thegraduate program..."
Oh, lord help me.
Next we roll into, "...let's try to gettogether later this weekend--and we can have somefun and get to know each other better..."
DON'T MAKE ME SLAP MY OWN HEAD, PLEASE.
You sound like you can't decide whether to askher to be your study partner, become her schoolcounselor, or subtly imply that you're a perv on amission.
No no no.
You want to touch base, keep it light, and getto the next step.
No school stuff, no interview questions, no"fun".
Try this when following up:
"Hey, it was nice meeting you last night...what are you up to this week? Would you like tojoin me for a cup of something wonderful and somestimulating conversation? Talk to me."
...you know, just like it says word-for-word onpage 130 of Double Your Dating.
No interviews, no "fun", no lame questionsabout what she's doing as an undergrad.
OK, I realize that I'm being a little harshhere, and that you're just getting started...lol... but I have to pick on someone!
Remember, no boring, average talk. And untilyou have something that you KNOW works better, usethe materials that you paid for in my book!
As your final assignment, keep me posted on howmuch better women respond to this new, improvedfollow-up message.
(Hint: if you still aren't getting responses,then you're doing something when you meet them togive them the creeps. Think about it, and makesome modifications if you have to.)
***QUESTION***
Dear Jedi Master
I have written several times but my letters werenever published. This time I think I have greatmaterial to contribute, which can help in yournewsletter (one of them is this little face, womenlove them even if you insert them in the first e-mail you exchange, right after a c & f comment).
First, my success story. I met a girl on-line onone of those dating sites. I didn't expectanything out of it. She had told me she was talland cute, I didn't believe so but actually, sheturned out to be very pretty. We went out on adate at night (she proposed it herself thanks tomy c & f e-mails), though I told her I thought itwas kind of hasty, I accepted. The whole date Ikept composure, I set up a relaxed and calmatmosphere, I just sat, laid back and chatted. Theonly c & f comment I needed to send in was thisone. We were talking about the people we had meton-line. When she asked about my experience, Isaid I only met a nice girl, pretty andeverything, but she was too needy and forward so Ihad to tell her "let's just be friends". She toldme about hers, she went out with a nerd, a geekwho kept her the whole night talking aboutcomputers and mathematics. I told her that "youdon't get everyday such a lucky chance to meetsuch a cute guy like me". Result, in the end ofthe date she asked me if she could kiss me, nowshe is my girlfriend and everything is great sofar.
The non verbal cocky and funny examples are many.Once, in a disco I saw a stunning blond walkingin. She was very poshy and nose-up. As she passedby me (all the attention was obviously focused onher) I had this genius idea. I followed herimitating her wiggling hips and I squeezed my nose(up) with two fingers (as if to say everybodystinks here, except for me). As a result,everybody around us noticed the slapstick comedyscene and was laughing out loud, even her when shecaught me.
Another example is still in a disco scene. I wasenjoying my beer with my friends sitting on atable. On the other end of the place there werethese two beauties, they were all the timesurrounded by loosers and sharks. Another ideaflashed in my mind, as our eyes met, I show her mytongue and I gave her a raspberry. Her expressionwent from surprise (I can't believe you just didthat) to smile and then she cracked up inlaughter. I kept this up with other strangegestures, like shaking my head as if to say"you're no good", then with other gestures I toldher she was a drunkard. Needless to say, I wentway further than everybody else. Another gestureyou can add after you got her attention, is toraise your eyebrows. This approach is very goodfrom far away cause you can keep it up for a fewminutes without even uttering a word withoutapproaching her directly walking towards her. Youdon't even have to worry about the loud music.Another gesture you can do is shaking your handwith your fingers held together (a very Italiangesture), as if to say "what do you want fromme?". And yes, it is a very good idea to imitateand tease them when they dance. It is so nice andfun to tease them, and they love it too.
My question is this one. I noticed that mygirlfriend, when I come out with a cocky and funnystatement, still laughs and enjoys it, but at thesame time she gets frustrated and tells me to stopit as if she doesn't like it. What does this mean?I keep it up anyhow.
I would like to address also the issue of bodylanguage. There are loads of girls who are too shyto look at you straight in the eye. They give youonly a side-look. I advise to keep a friend aroundyou so that you can catch these shy birds as well.Message to everyone, get a book about bodylanguage, it can save your self-esteem and a lotof time too!
Thanks again, I still have a lot of issues toaddress but I realize I am making this letter toolong
Thanks again man, keep up the good work
F from Italy
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Very nice, I'm glad you wrote in, because I wasjust working on some "non-verbal" ways of beingcocky and funny and you have figured some of themout yourself.
NICE!
One great technique you mentioned is IMITATINGa woman who is obviously very hot and/or stuck up.
You can pull your shoulders back, stick outyour butt, and put your nose in the air... thenlook over at her... then laugh at yourself.
If a woman gives you a compliment, you canpurse your lips and put on an exaggerated "JamesBond" Mr. Cool look and say "she wants me" rightto her face.
There are a million ways... great stuff.
To answer your question, I think it's a goodidea to always keep doing what worked in thebeginning.
If a woman was attracted to you because youwere Cocky and Funny, then keep doing it later aswell. If she puts up a fuss, just say, "I'm gladyou like it."
The best way to keep a woman's interest is toKEEP DOING WHAT WORKED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I read your newsletters religiously and they havecome in quite handy, I gotta say.
A two mos. ago, a friend and I were in a coffeeshop when he spotted a female acquaintance of his.He talked to her a bit and said, "This is myfriend...". I look at her and say, "What's up? I'mD." This girl gives me the bitchiest look I'veever seen and in her most appalled tone of voiceshe says, "Ummmmmm, WHAT'S UP?" ....as if I shouldaddress her, "Your Highness". "What do you want meto do [her name], bow down and kiss your hand,your Highness?"...when I said this, she was inshock b/c I just tore down her brat barrier andshe tried to regain composure. Well sometimelater, we fooled around some and got along prettywell. The catch is, after we fool around she getsclingy (like some wussy guy would do). Dave, haveI dug a hole for myself with this? I'd rather giveup the action than have some brat getting allemotional and clingy for me...what do you say?
Cheers, D. Indiana
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, this is a funny thing. If you bust astuck-up woman's chops enough to break through the"Brat Barrier", as you call it, she'll oftenbecome VERY attached to you.
It's almost as if attractive women have beenwalking around challenging every man they meet,and when you meet the challenge she rolls over.
And I'll tell you what, I'd rather give up awoman than have her be emotionally needy andclingy myself.
You just have to figure out why she's beingclingy... is it because she's a damaged person onthe inside, because you led her to believe thatyou wanted a relationship, or some other reason,and do what makes sense.
Good job busting through the "Brat Barrier". Imight just steal that name...
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
First off, mad props for taking the time towrite a book that everyone can read and use. Ihave yet to buy it (next week I will though -payday), but I have been receiving yournewsletters and enjoying the material in there.
Now after receiving your emails for a few weeks,I decided to try using the cocky and funnyapproach on every girl I came across (I've alwaysbeen too shy to do this consistently.. onlysituationally). So I did this at work, at coffeeshops, at the bar, you name it. I hadn't tried theemail/number techniques yet though. And I hadonly been doing this for a week when I happened tomeet a girl that was incredibly attractive, smart,and just the complete package. So she received mylargest C&F effort yet. It worked like a charm!We talked for only a few minutes the first time wemet but I left an impression. The second time wemet, we chatted and joked around for a few hoursand I asked her on a date, which she readilyaccepted. So we went on that date, and things wentgreat.
I was nervous about going out with her, but fromthe start I made the decision that I wanted to useher for practise. I know that sounds bad to alotof people, but it's more of a frame of mind thananything else. So anyhow, we went to dinner first(yeah - I know), we talked, we joked, we had agood time. Then we went to a movie (which wasoriginally the plan, to just go see this movie weboth wanted to see, and that was all.. the dinnerwas tacked on by her really), and I tried a formof a kiss test.
Since we had already reached a level ofcomfort/friendliness through conversation, it wastime to check out physical playfulness. So duringthe movie (comedy), there were a lot of funnymoments as expected. Well, one of them washilarious and we both went nuts laughing, so I didthe laugh and slap your own leg thing.. except Iused her leg. And I did it lightly enough so thatit won't leave a mark, but stung a bit. Which iswhat I wanted actually. She responded by saying"hey, that hurt!" while smiling at me, so I said"oh, poor baby, want me to kiss it better?". Shegot off on my playfulness and raised her leg up soI could kiss it. So I kissed her leg, and I said"There you go kid, all better!", and I followedthat up with "I hope I don't have to hit you inthe face to get a kiss!":) I still laugh when Ithink of that one. She thought that was so funnyshe just cracked right up, it was great! A littleoff the wall, but great! Then I just waited forthe next funny part, which was like, 10 secondslater, and I looked into her eyes, down to herlips, and back to her eyes, and kissed her. Shewas incredibly responsive. Now, I'm talking inslow motion here because that portion setup whathas been a great thing between myself and thisgirl since that date. But I need to fast forwardto the problem part. So to fill in the gaps in arather boring fashion, the date led to a next dayhot-tub at her place (she called me), and sex theday after that. She was completely into me. Wehad spent almost every single day together for thenext 3 weeks. Anytime I tried to take a day off,she wouldn't have any of that. The sex wasamazing, and got better and better each time. Andthat all led to the problem:
She through me a wicked wicked curv ball that Ididn't expect or see coming, and I didn't reactthe way I should have. She not only came out andsaid 'I love you', she followed that up with 'Ithink you are the one '!!! That is some deep,serious shit right there. That through me off mygame big time. It was like being at the platewith no bat while Randy Johnson throws fastballsat me. 'Holy s***!'
I ended up having a day (the next day), where Ireally needed to be alone, and quiet, tocontemplate this whole scene. Unfortunately, shesaid those words while we were on a campingtrip... so when I was acting quiet and distant,she didn't know what to do. She hadn't seen melike that. So I played it off like I was grumpy.That wasn't really the best move, but I wasfeeling confused. Here I have this amazing chickwho has just said some incredibly huge words tome. I was stuck, and it turned me into a wussagain:( That day of the camping trip sucked, andit was a short camping trip (arrived friday night,left sunday morning), so it wasn't a very goodone. The friday night was amazing, but what shesaid setup the confusion for the rest of it.
So on the Monday after we got back, we sat downand talked, and decided that it was much too earlyfor that and we should take a step back and holdthe 'I love you' stuff for another time. Well,that lasted until that friday when she came overand said "I've been thinking about this alot, andI am SO in love with you. I know we said wedidn't want to go there, but you are just soamazing I can't picture my life without you."Another curv ball. Another wussifying statement.And once again, I felt confused and a littleoverwhelmed. She has everything I want in awoman, and she's telling me that I'm what shewants in a man. Well, that changed all tooquickly. I turned into a wuss. For some dumbreason, I felt that her confessions of loverequired me to be more sentimental, caring, andlubby dubby. What the hell was I thinking!!!Exactly one week after that and about 4 days of mebeing completely off my game and catering to herneeds, she decides that she has lost theattraction. She didn't say exactly that, but itwas obvious by our sex life which all of a suddendisappeared. So we discussed it, and she felt likebeing with me was like "training a puppy" becauseI lacked confidence in my actions. At that point,I knew she was right because lately, I wasn'tacting confident in my actions. I let all of myactions and decisions take her feelings intoconsideration first, which ends up making mehesitate and appear to lack confidence. At thesame time, during the 3 or 4 days prior to thattalk, she had stopped liking my jokes and takingthings offensively. I was not impressed with that.So I brought that up after her "training a puppy"comment, and I followed it up with a "you knowwhat... we're done."
And that was it, I broke up with her. Now I'msitting here thinking about how amazing this girlis, and how the only reason we aren't together isbecause I acted like a wuss after the "I loveyou"'s came out. The thing is, everyone around usseen a stronge love between myself and this girl,and nobody can believe it turned out like this.Neither can I, but at least I know why.
Problem now, is that I know that we had astrong love (as early as it was), and I want thatback. I know how wussy that sounds, but I feellike this ended prematurely. I feel confident thatI can go out and get numbers and get dates, etc...but it doesn't feel right at this point.
I am tempted to call her and at least say"It's too bad things didn't work out between us,but I would like to remain friends, blaw blawblaw...". It has only been a little over a daysince we broke up (sunday now, and we broke upfriday night), so I don't know if I should evenbother calling her, or if I should wait a coupledays to see if she calls me, or whatever. I don'twant to wait to be honest. Despite what happenedthis past week, she is still someone that isincredibly special. No other girl I've met hashad her qualities. Which is what makes this sodamn tough. So any advice you can throw me is morethan appreciated. What should I do here Dave?Thanks, J.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Your letter was long, but I had to include it.
Let this be a lesson to you...
DON'T TURN INTO A WUSSY.
Don't do it.
And the most important reason is the one you'vedemonstrated with your situation: Because you'llscrew up the one situation that really matters,when and if it comes.
Women are NOT attracted to WUSSIES.
And men tend to start acting like wussies whenthey really like a girl.
Here's what to do:
1) Don't call her.
2) Go date other women, IMMEDIATELY.
3) If you talk to her again because you ran intoher or she calls you, MENTION THAT YOU'RE DATINGOTHER WOMEN, AND DO THE THINGS YOU DID WHEN YOUFIRST MET HER THAT ATTRACTED HER TO YOU IN THEFIRST PLACE. (If you don't hear from her for a fewweeks or a month, you may call her ONCE.)
4) Write, "I will not act like a WUSS-BAG again."1,000 times.
5) Read this RIGHT NOW:
On Being A Man
Now, go and be a Wussy no more.
***QUESTION***
Hey there David. Great work! I love your mailbagsand tips. They are very informative and useful andhave worked wonders for my dating life. Anyways,to the point. I wanted to share a good C+F linethat has worked more than I expected it to... Andyes, I thought of it. It works good for guys whohave to overcome shyness as well. Okay it goessomething like this.
The girl you are talking to knows you are shy. Soyou bust on her with C+F a bit then you mentionthat you are kind of different when you get toknow people better. Then you say I guess I'm likeM&M's. You got to get past that hard candy shelland get to the sweet, sweet, chocolatty center(And say sweet, sweet, chocolatty center in aHomer Simpson voice if you want. I find it makesit funnier). They nearly always laugh at this one.Then you say something to the effect of I'm noteven going to get into how else I'm like M&M's.95% of chicks get this... And it's got me to myfinal destination many a time. ;Þ ... You can evenfollow up if they make a comment that I hate howwomen see me as some type of sexual object; apiece of meat if you will. (And in a sorta whineybut funny voice), ITS SO DEGRADING! They love that:P Thanks for everything Dave and keep up thegreat work... I'm saving up for your book but I'mhella poor so it might take a couple of weeks.LOL.
T. BC, Canada
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Nice! I love comments that turn typical femaleideas around and make fun of them...
Like saying, "I hate that women only see me assome type of sexual object... like a piece ofmeat" etc.
And the M&M comment is subtle, but nice.
Good work, keep it up!
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
I've read your book and been reading yourletters for months, and it all makes an awful lotof sense. Though coming from someone that has hadas much experience as I have I don't know how muchthat means. I'm 19 and never been in arelationship, well never actually gone out with agirl unless it was purely as 'friends'. And that'swhere my problem kicks in. I am the prodigal niceguy, basically reverse all your advise and you'dhave me.
That's not to say I don't have what it takes, I'mfunny when I'm with friends, and pretty carefreeand even a bit cocky when I'm with girls that I'mnot at all interested in (I'm not naturallycocky). I've even been told I'm cute by severaldifferent girls, so I guess I'm not hideous. Thething is I just can't bring myself to make anapproach. If a girl approached me first I'd beable to get her number (hypothetically, no realworld experience here). Whenever I have had theguts to ask a girl out in the past it's always thesame, you're nice and all, can we JBF?. I now knowthat was because I was in complete wuss mode whileasking these girls out. And I guess I'm findingthis act hard to break, I just can't seem to breakaway from Mr. Nice Guy. I've tried thevisualisation techniques you mention, though Iguess I just loose motivation, not because I don'twant a date, but because I guess I believe I can'tget a date.
So if there are any pearls of wisdom you can dishout in regards to getting over this first hurdleit would be greatly appreciated. Think of me as aproject you can mould into the ultimate man,Funny, Cocky and Charming.
Thanks for your help in advance
T.C From Australia
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, I have two things for you to do:
1) Get online and start chatting with randomwomen. I don't care what service you use, but Ilike AOL. Just start conversations and tease them.
Instant message a woman who's obviously youngand ask, "Are you 50 years old?" Mess with them.Have fun. This will sharpen up your game, and itwill show you how well women respond when youtease them.
2) Go out to a place where there are a LOT ofwomen and put yourself in a location that is INTHEIR WAY.
Here in Los Angeles we have night clubs forpeople over the age of 18. Find one of theseclubs, and go stand by the bar, right wherethere's the MOST traffic, so a lot of women bumpinto you.
This will create all kinds of opportunities totalk to women, and many of them will start talkingto you.
You'll get a lot of "excuse me" while they tryto get to the bar, etc.
Think of a few other ways to put yourself inthe paths of a lot of women, and go practice. Justdo it.
Your problem is all in your mind. You need toget out there and see that this stuff works, soyou can believe in it.
***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***
I need your advice:
I just recently met a guy (while he was going to abusiness meeting) and I was just leaving my gym.He asked me to have coffee, but I kind ofhesitated. I didn't go, however, I took hisbusiness card.
A few days later I decided to email him...just tosay "hi."
We have been communicating via the net for acouple weeks now. I also have had the opportunityto meet him briefly for the first time to havecoffee. Then at another time I was with mygirlfriend...and he was also with us.
He seems like a nice guy, but I don't like the waywe met. It seemed like he was trying to pick me upor something. What I am trying to say is that, hadthe situation been different, like if we metthrough friends or at work, I wouldn't have thismuch negative thoughts about him.
Anyway, we were supposed to meet for dinner and amovie, but then he called to tell me that he had amigraine. He seems really interested in having mego over to his place. Not knowing him well, I amvery afraid to do something of this nature... so Ideclined his invitations without responding.Furthermore, he'd called again and said that hewould love to see me. Again he asked me to go tohis place. He said that he would even come to pickme up or have a taxi pick me up. This is veryinsulting to me. I mean If I wanted to seesomeone, I would drive to see him. Why did he haveto offer a taxi. I can't figure this guy out, butI am very suspicious about the whole situation.It seemed to me like the whole thing is bogus.
Please respond. I am in desperate need to findout this guy's true intentions. Do I have theright to feel this way, or am I just being toocautios and paranoid?
Hope to hear from you soon.
ST
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, I've included this email because I want toshow you something...
Namely, a great example of what's going on inthe mind of a "typical" woman.
Notice all of the suspicion, insecurity,reading into the situation, attempts to decipherintentions, etc.
One of the things I say is that women don'ttake anything you say or do LITERALLY. They alwayswant to know what it "means".
I basically NEVER see emails like this fromguys.
Guys just want to know: Is she into me or not?
That's it.
Guys don't care if the woman was trying to"pick them up" or whether they met at work or onthe street, or if she wants him to come over toher house... EVER.
But women... women are completely different.They are ALWAYS thinking about motives, details,and "meaning".
What's my point?
Well, a lot of guys do things that make womensuspicious.
Or they do things that women read into andinstantly run from...
Or they do predictable, average things and saypredictable, average things that BORE womenbecause the woman interprets the man's actions asAVERAGE AND UNINTERESTING.
You need to keep this stuff in mind.
This guy should have asked for her email FIRST(asking her to coffee right on the spot was OK,but since she didn't go for it, email would be theright next step). Then he should have emailed aday or two later and suggested a cup of tea. Afterthe tea, he should have invited her over tocontinue the conversation, etc.
But he's not really paying attention to how awoman might see his actions, and he's comingacross a little strange.
He's trying to get a woman who doesn't trusthim yet to come straight to his house... and it'sfreaking her out.
Of course, there's a way to do this (I talkabout it in my book, of course), but he's notdoing it correctly.
This is another reason why I recommend thatguys avoid talking about work, family, school,etc. If you talk about those things, you'll belikely to come off as qualifying her formarriage... which is a no-no early on.
If you tease, have fun, make fun, and staymysterious, then you'll create curiosity,challenge, and mystery.
Every woman is different, and there is often afine line between being suspicious and beinginteresting. But you need to know the difference,and behave in a way that gets you the outcome youwant.
***QUESTION***
I have a few questions on the cocky + funny bit.Ill get strait to the point, is it a good idea touse sarcasm a lot? is it a bad idea to bust onyourself in a sarcastic way? ex. you trip andalmost fall, then you say, "wow, im sure smoothtoday" while laughing about it
does the Cocky in cocky + funny mean to brag aboutyourself, or things youve done in a funny way? asyou can see Ive been having some trouble on thisapproach. I have your book but still cant graspthe whole attitude about it. oh and can you giveus a good C&F line when a woman says "shush" or"shut up" while laughing. if yo have any moreadvice man, id love to hear it, if i can get thisdown, i will have greater succe ss then you havegiven me
your awsome Dave, genius
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, Yes on the sarcasm. I love it.
I don't really make fun of myself a lot. Ithink that it's better to accuse her of being thecause of any mistakes you make, etc. If you trip,say "You know, this doesn't happen when you're notaround... I think you're causing it" etc.
You can brag about yourself in a funny way...that's great. If she likes your shirt, say "Yeah,women are always trying to pick me up with thosecheesy lines."
If she says, "Shut up" while laughing, that's aPERFECT opportunity to dial it up a notch and comeback with something even funnier... maybe, "Youlove me" with a serious face.
You must remember that it HAS TO BE FUNNY.
You can say ANYTHING, as long as it's FUNNY.
Practice if you have to. Write things down... Idid. I still do, in fact.
Watch comedy on TV and in the movies. Noticewhat's funny and what's not. Imitate others untilyou get the hang of it.
You're doing fine... you'll have it soon!
***QUESTION***
David:
Your book has helped me live life in a great newway- I went from not going to my senior prom togetting e-mails from some of the most beautifulgirls on my campus (and I've only been here 3days!) Thanks a ton.
I do have a question about two ideas in your bookthat, at least in the manner in which I haveapplied them, seem to contradict each other. Yousay guys that argue a lot seem insecure, which Icertainly agree with. You then say that when awoman says something you are doing is botheringher, to instead of stopping to comply with her asmost guys would, to keep doing whatever bothersher, and in fact "turn it up a notch". How do youdo this without the situation resulting in anargument? I'd imagine humor would help, but couldtake me through exactly how to make this work?
Thanks,
R.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, arguing is when she says, "You know,divorce is wrong", and you say, "No, it's not. Infact, divorce is a very healthy thing for adultsto decide to do. There was a study in a recentissue of Psychology Today that suggests thatchildren from divorced families make more moneythan those that don't..."
Turning up something she just told you shedoesn't like is when you put on some Metallica andshe says, "Turn that off, I hate heavy metal" andyou turn it up a little and say, "Well you'dbetter learn to like it, because I do"... thenturn it down a minute or so later.
Are you with me?
The first example (arguing) is insecure WUSSYbehavior, the second example is spanking her forbeing bossy.
Get it?
Nice!
And great job with the babes on campus. It'sgoing to be a fun year for some women in yourarea!
***QUESTION***
Hi dave, I dont have many success stories becausethe first girl I met after I started using yourstuff is gorgeous, and we have been dating for 5months now, she's a keeper. anyway, I am stillputting your techniques into practise and thisgirl is buying me gifts every other week and shestill say she can't figure me out. I love keepingher on her toes.
My question is this, what if a girl does somethingto piss you off, how should you handle it andstill keep true to your priciples. On one hand ifi just say "thats ok, I don't mind" I am beingwussy, but if I get mad and give her sh** I am nolonger being indifferent. I think maybe teasingher about it without actually showing that I amdispleased would be the right course of action,please elaborate.
Your pupil in Canada.
R.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
DON'T BE A WUSSY.
I hate to say this, but women often do thingsto piss you off JUST TO TEST YOU AND SEE IF YOU'LLSTAND UP AND BE A MAN.
Really.
Now, DON'T put on your wife beater, get drunk,drive over to her trailer park and start hittingher hat...
But, I think you catch my meaning.
Don't accept things that aren't acceptable.
Wow, profound. I know, I'm brilliant with theobvious.
Be a man about it, don't be a little girl. Justtell her to not do it anymore... don't whine andcomplain.
You're in a relationship right now, but thishappens all the time with women that you've justmet. It's important to set your boundaries early,because if you don't they'll turn into problems,resentments, etc.
That dork, 'Dr. Phil' says, "Men don't get it,but they can be trained".
Oh, I just love that kind of talk. Let's see...a man who makes his money by saying things thatOprah's audience of 50 million married overweightWOMEN (who have nothing better to do than sitaround the house in the middle of the day watchingT.V.) will agree with... Hmm.
(I actually kind of like 'Dr. Phil'... don'tget me wrong... lol)
The truth is that A TRAINED MAN IS A WUSSY, ANDHE MIGHT AS WELL GET A RING PUT IN HIS NOSE ANDBUY HIS WOMAN A LEASH TO LEAD HIM AROUND.
Like I always say, you can be attractivewithout being ABUSIVE. Be strong, fellow dude.Avoid the temptation, when the tests come, to turninto a WUSSY.
You know, it's difficult for me to get along inthis world with this problem I have of not sayinghow I REALLY feel.
Great job finding a great gal... now do theright things, and keep her.
Let me tell you something...
I spent YEARS trying to figure out how to besuccessful with women and dating.
YEARS.
I read books, listened to tapes, went toseminars... and tried all KINDS of things. I mean,if you knew half of the stuff that I tried, you'dlaugh your ass off at me.
Most of it didn't work... and the stuff thatdid work actually worked IN SPITE of the fact thatit was lame.
I mean, if you do ANYTHING it will work SOME ofthe time.
I'm going to tell you something that is bothsimple and profound at the same time.
If you will learn how to be a MAN, then most ofthe "other stuff" will take care of ITSELF.
Really.
In fact, after spending years and years of mylife learning how to attract women, I finallyrealized that most men have never learned what itmeans to "be a man".
It's crazy, actually.
The kicker is that a mature, interesting,attractive woman knows INSTANTLY if she's dealingwith a "real man"... or if she's dealing with a"WussBoy".
So my question to you is: What are YOUcommunicating to the women you're interactingwith?
Man?
WussBoy?
Ass-kisser who's beyond all help?
I hope not.
If this is making sense to you, and you'd liketo learn how to develop the MAN side ofyourself... so you project this amazing POWER towomen... then you MUST get your hands on a copy ofmy "On Being A Man... Who Naturally AttractsWomen" program.
Inside, I face this problem of "missingmanhood" HEAD ON.
I'm not going to lie to you and tell you thatthis program is all fun and games. And it's alsonot full of techniques for "picking up chicks".
In fact, this program is ALL about YOU.
It's all about understanding the reasons why wehave NOT grown into MEN... and how to FIX theproblem for yourself.
I'd love to sit here and tell you all about it,but it's better if you go read about it foryourself, and watch some video clips of theprogram. You can go check it out here:
On Being A Man
If you'd like to get a broad introduction to mymost powerful concepts, PLUS get some greattechiques for overcoming fear, approaching women,getting dates, and taking things to a "physical"level, then you need to check out my AdvancedDating Techniques DVD/CD program.
The thing that makes my Advanced Programdifferent from all the other stuff out there isthat it's BASED on watching and learning from guyswho are "naturally" good with women.
The experience that REALLY took my success to ahigh level was watching, learning from, imitating,testing and refining what I learned from theseguys.
In fact, I invited several of my friends whowere the MOST influential on me to participate inthe live seminar that was edited into the AdvancedDating Techniques program. And when you listen toit, you'll watch and/or hear me interviewing fiveof them LIVE.
You know, one of the funniest experiences I'vehad is looking back on all the various techniquesthat I tried before I "got it" with women... andlaughing to myself at how stupid most of it was.
Fortunately, by doing those things, I learned alot... and I developed a ton of fantastictheories, methods, and systems that get RESULTS.
I've worked hard to create a great set of toolsand techniques, and a logical way to learn them,understand them, and start using them.
If you want to check out some great freesamples of this program, go here:
Advanced Series
And if you haven't taken the time to downloadmy online eBook, you need to do that RIGHT NOW.You can download it to your computer and bereading it within a few minutes... Go get it here:
Double Your Dating eBook
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. Don't forget to look through all of theother programs I've created. You can watchvideo clips of every one of them right here:
Double Your Dating Catalog
P.P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story,Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphsmax.2) Tell me what's working for you before you askyour question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuffis great" and "I don't need to tell you how wellyour stuff works" comments, but the fact is that IDO need to hear all of the specifics... becausethis helps other guys to see what's working indifferent situations.3) If you have a Success Story, write "SuccessStory" in the subject line of the email. I readthese first.4) At the end of the email, give me your initialsand tell me where you're from.5) Send it to me at: SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com...don't just hit "reply" to this email.Thanks!--------------------------------------------------Copyright 2007 David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. DavidDeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks. Byreading and accepting this newsletter you agree toall of the following: You understand that this issimply a set of opinions (and not advice). This isto be used for entertainment, and not consideredas "professional advice". You are responsible forany use of the information in this email, and holdDavid DeAngelo Marketing Inc. and all members andaffiliates harmless in any claim or event. If youare under 18 years old, please click thelink at the end, and remove yourself, or to takeyourself off of our list, you can send mail to"DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th Floor LasVegas, NV 89169.--------------------------------------------------__________________________________________________If you are under 18 years old, please follow the link below and remove yourself, or you can send mail to "DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th Floor, Las Vegas, NV 89109.To safely remove your name and email address from our newsletter mailing list go to:Unsubscribe Me [-271.071127GR3-]
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Dont be a WUSSY

When you say, "Can you tell me how to ask a woman if she has kids before a first date?" it implies that you think that there's something wrong with just coming out and asking it.
It's like you're saying, "Well, I know that I can't just ASK her if she has kids... so can you tell me some cool trick to get her to spill it without me having to ask?".
Well guess what?
THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's not necessary to use trickery when you want to know something about a woman.
If you want to know if a woman has kids, then you need to ASK.
Say "Hey, do you have any kids?".
If she says, "Yes", then say, "Great. I'mreally looking for a woman who doesn't have any kids, but we can be friends".
Let's use a different example.
Let's say you've placed a personal ad online.
Let's say that a cute woman replies.
Let's say that she sends you a picture... but it only shows her face... and you're onlyinterested in women who are slim.
Now, you probably would write to me and ask meto give you some slick way to get her to share how much she weighs with you without having to ask.
Wrong idea.
Just email her and say, "Hey, how tall are you and how much do you weigh? I really prefer womenwho are slim. Let me know...".
That's it.
Think about it.
If she IS slim, she'll tell you, and probablybe glad that you were up front with her anddirect.
If she ISN'T slim, she'll be glad you told hernow and didn't waste her time.
I think that your problem is probably rooted ininsecurity, and caring too much what other peoplethink of you.
...by the way... it's NOT OK to say, "Hey, Ireally HATE FAT CHICKS... so tell me now, becauseif you're fat I'm going to bail...".
That's not cool.
If you act like an adult and expect others to act like adults, you'll do well with women.
If you pussy-foot around the issue (a perfectterm for you and this) you'll wind up trying to dothings that waste everyone's time.
If you're up front, direct, and not caring whatother people think of you, then you're going tomake women respond more powerfully.
Guaranteed.
Oh, and GREAT JOB getting your act together with women. You're doing very well, keep it up.And feel free to promote my materials anytime youwant in the future.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Dear David,
I've been reading your email newsletters...not because I'm a male needing advice, but because Iam a FEMALE who likes to get insight into what menare thinking! I'll have to say that what you aretelling these guys is right on target.
I have a girlfriend who is a perfect 10, but she has the worst luck with men. Know why? They areTOO NICE TO HER!!!!!!!! I was sitting out by thepool with her this past weekend, and listening toher talk about the latest guy she's dating. He'scute, attentive, sweet, thoughtful, generous,funny, and a tiger in bed!! BUT, she told me thathe isn't the "one." I asked her why, and this isexactly what she said, "He's too agreeable.Everything I say is OK with him...anything I want to do, go, or think is OK with him. I'm getting bored. He doesn't have enough personality for me.He's always smiling, and my thirteen year old daughter even says he's a wuss for being so nice all the time. I want a man who's a challenge."
Now, this woman sees this other guy from time totime, and she'd drop what she's doing and drive 6hours just to spend one night with him! But thatguy doesn't call regularly and he treats herpoorly, but she'd give her first born child tohave him!
No, it doesn't make sense, David, but that is theway a lot of Number 10 women are. And if a guyreally wants a 10, your techniques would work likea charm. Just warn these guys that 10's are verydifficult women to deal with, and they are used tohaving every guy's attention, so they need to keepthe game up to keep her from straying. I wish guyswould see that the 10's, although they are prettyto look at, aren't always worth the effort. Myfriends who are 5's would treat men better, ifthey could get their attention.
Me? I'm about a 7-8 but I use your techniques onMEN, and they work quite well. A year ago, I wasdating 4-5 men at time. The one guy that I caredthe least about and brushed off time and again, isthe one I'm dating all the time now! He just hungin there no matter how many dates I cancelled oreven if I told him I had another date! I even toldhim I was dating lots of other men! But, he justhung in there, and I got tired of the others, andnow I only date him, and we're happy! Oh, I dostill give him a challenge! I am not alwaysavailable, and I don't call him often, nor emailhim all the time, and when he goes out of town onwork, I don't get all jealous and worry. I don'thave to worry. He can't wait to get back to ME!He cooks for me and treats me like a Queen.
So...tell those guys this little secret aboutwomen. The 10's love it when you are a challenge,and they may end up with a 10, but remember thatthose women can be the most difficult. Give thelower numbers a chance sometimes, and they willfind a devoted mate!
Later..
K in SC
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Amen SISTER!
Preach it!
You gotta love honest women.
And you've laid it out for everyone to see.
I wish all men had an older sister like you whocould tell them how it is from an early age...
But, alas, we do not.
I'm going to go read your email again, becauseit's GOLD.
Send a picture next time. I promise that I'llNEVER call you all the time, and I'll NEVERtolerate you canceling anything on me.
Of course, then you'd fall in love with me, andI'd have to break your heart.
What a life.
***QUESTION***
Hi there David
Firstly, I would like to say how useful I havefound your Advanced DVD series and DYD book. Iused to be a classic textbook Wussy but that wayof life is definitely going out of the window now!
I have had two emails from two different womenrecently (after using your stuff) and I quote themhere as I think all Wussies should read them. Thefirst one is from a woman who I've known for anumber of years and see her with her friends onthe odd occasion:
'Dating should indeed be fun and relaxed but sadlymost of your gender seem to have forgotten this -were you not taken to one side at school and toldto be arrogant and aloof etc?? I think some ofthem might be due for a refresher course as theyget far too serious, far too quickly. It is not tobe encouraged!! XXXX (the name of the guy) isdoing pretty well at the moment though and onlysees me a couple of times a week and never ringsand hardly ever emails, so he has the right idea!!I think I have been quite vocal about my disdainof other boys recently though, so he knows not topush it.'
This second reply is from a woman I sent a messageto on an Internet dating site. I based the messagearound your advice from your Advanced Datingseries:
'YIPEEEEEEEEE!!!!AN OUT OF THE ORDINARY MAN ONHERE!!!!!!!!!
Im on 189 mens 'fav' list an i can tell u now, sofar not one of em has made me want to know more!
Can u restore my faith....Hummmmm tall order, ulike a challenge?'
It's definitely worth getting your DVD and book asI would never have had these responses otherwise.
My question is how do I take things further whenmeeting women on line? I have watched your friendon the Advanced DVD series but don't seem to beable to get the required results. I have startedto get lots of responses from hot women aftersending them a Cocky & Funny message. We thenmessage each other a few times but suddenly theystop replying! What am I doing wrong? I try anduse Cocky & Funny but also write 'normal' stufflike what do they like doing etc which I know canbe classed as Wussy talk. Your views would begratefully received. Also can you tell your friendto write that book about Meeting Women On Line ?and put me top of the list to buy it! Keep up thegreat work!
J
London, England
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, yes, yes...
You're getting it... you're getting it.
But what are you doing writing NORMAL stuff andasking NORMAL questions?
I can't believe after spending hours and hoursand hours listening to me talk about why it'sstupid to say lame NORMAL stuff that you'd stilldo it.
STOP THAT IMMEDIATELY... don't make me comedown there and bitch-slap the Wuss out of you.
I'll do it. I will.
And you're surprised that women stop respondingto you...
Here, do this.
From now on:
1) Watch the personals every day. Only sendmessages to the NEW ads.
2) When you get a reply, email and ask her for hernumber. Tell her that you're swamped with amillion messages from supermodels who keepbragging about how much money they have, and sheneeds to act fast or you'll be gone.
3) Get her number as soon as possible, and get herON THE PHONE.
4) DO NOT, under ANY circumstances talk about lameNORMAL stuff.
5) Watch my Advanced DVD Series again. And don'tturn it off until you're reminded of why youshouldn't say "normal" things.
6) Write another email to me in a week or so whenyou're getting better results.
Now get back in there, stop acting normal, andmake something happen!
***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
First of all, thanks again for the valuablenewsletters and the information from your Ebook. Ipurchased it a couple months ago and still referto it quite often. On to my success story. I wasrecently at a buddies bachelor party and the onlysingle guy out of five. One of our stops was adowntown bar where my friends wanted to see me goto work. I found a table with 6 blondes talkingto two guys. One of the dudes looked like a crossbetween Ricky Martin and Eminem and the other Ibelieve was sporting a Member's Only jacket. Iimmediately took advantage of the situation andswooped in to save the day with C&F on overdrive.I'm not the kind of guy that women approach soI've learned that if I want to make somethinghappen, I've got to grab a hold and go for it. Thenext thing I know the two guys got up and left andthen the rest of my buddies came in for support.Married guys make the best "Wingmen". The bestpart of the night was getting the number of thehottest one of their group, something I would havenever done in the past. We spoke on the phone andhave made plans to see each other again. There's asaying. "If you keep doing what you've alwaysdone, you're going to get what you've always got."I just wanted to say thanks for allowing me theopportunity to stop settling and most importantlystop being a wuss. You da man!! P in Colorado
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah babyyyyyyy!
The reason I love your story so much is becauseI'm not the kind of guy that women approacheither. I never have been.
But, after learning this stuff, I've realizedthat it's just not necessary to be that kind ofguy.
In fact, most of the guys I know who are theMOST successful with women aren't particularlygood-looking.
Everything changes when you have a superiorunderstanding of what's going on... and a set oftools to get the job done.
Nice, and keep sending in the stories.
By the way, if you want more great ideas forapproaching women... and even approaching bigGROUPS of women, then you MUST check out my"Approaching Women" DVD/CD program. Inside youwill meet and learn from some of the best"approachers" in the world... and they'll teachyou some of the most AMAZING techniques forapproaching women... alone, in groups, in everytype of situation...
You can watch some video clips, plus get allthe details here:
Approaching Women
***QUESTION***
Dear David,
I must say KUDOS to you for creating a new manout of me. Let me explain myself. I ordered yourebook a while ago and have been getting yournewsletter for the better part of a year. However,only recently, I decided enough is enough. Istarted putting what I read into action to seewhat happens. Of course, it really helps that I'ma well-built muscular tall, dark and handsome man(LOL). Ain't that what the ladies are looking for?To clarify in terms of specs, I'm 5'11", of SouthIndian origin, and I've been a recreationalbodybuilder for going on 14 years now.
The nightclub I like to frequent to dance in hasa lot of gorgeous women, several easily 9's and10's. Well, the other night, I approached a girlwho was without a doubt AT LEAST a 10. She wasacting very coy and detached to anybody but thecrowd of guys and girls she was with. Since shewas wearing a cabbie-style hat, I came up to herand said, "Hey, I like your hat." She smiled andsaid, "Thanks" but still was kind of stuck up. So,then, I said, "Let me guess, you're a taxi-driver." She looked at me with a "there's NO wayyou just said that to me" shocked expression onher face BUT THEN, she instantly warmed up to meand replied with a BIG smile on her face, "No,I'll bet you are though." Well, Dave, I'm adoctor and I'm sure it helped for her to hear thatbut the rest of the night, she was rubbing upagainst me and holding me tight, even grindingwith me on the dance floor. What's even moresurprising is that her boyfriend was part of thecrowd and since I introduced myself to the rest ofthe group, he was cool with me hanging with them.I'm willing to bet that if he had not been there,she would have tried to kiss me and probably evenmake out with me. You are definitely THE MAN, THEMYTH, THE LEGEND, David DeAngelo. Thank you. NowI apologize for such a long account but I did wantto demonstrate the scenario carefully if anyonecan benefit from it. My question to you isquite simply this: Why is it that some women seemtotally enamored in person and act like they wantto go out but then never return your phone callsor initiate calls themselves? I mean, I can tellthat they are not faking their interest in me andso, what happens once they leave from my presence?T.M. Michigan
>>>MY COMMENTS:
What?
You mean to tell me that even tall, dark, andhandsome body-builder guys need help too?
lol...
It's funny, because most guys don't realizethat even good-looking guys have all the samechallenges with women...
I mean, it certainly doesn't HURT to be ahandsome guy, but women do all the same things, nomatter what a guy looks like.
Back to your question.
Here's the deal, man...
Unfortunately, many attractive women have VERYlow self-esteem.
Many (if not most) of the REALLY attractivewomen that you see out on the town are really outto get ATTENTION.
In other words, they're not looking to meet agood guy... they're not looking to find someonewho will treat them well... they're not lookingfor "love".
They're looking to fill an empty part of theirself-image.
Attention makes many women feel good. Somewomen actually enjoy getting attention from guys,then acting like they DON'T LIKE IT.
Hey, I never said women made sense.
Have you ever known a woman who wears low-cutblouses, then complains because guys only look ather breasts while talking to her?
DUH.
If a woman complains about something like thisto me, I'll say something like, "You know, nowthat you mention it... are those REAL?".
lol...
It's crazy.
Look, here are a few things to remember:
1) A woman will behave differently according toher MOOD. If she's happy when she's with you, thenshe might act like she's enjoying herself. If youcall the next day and she's depressed because shestill has no self-esteem, then she's probably notgoing to call you.
2) ATTRACTION is the key. You must realize that ifyou dial up the attraction by creating SexualTension, etc. then you'll have a much strongerchance of seeing her again.
3) Don't chase. When you talk to her again, makesure you don't communicate that you NEEDanything... especially attention or approval.
4) Lose the need to have every woman like you. Onebig weakness that most men have is a woman whowon't call back. But remember, women are the sameway. Read the email at the beginning of thisnewsletter from the attractive woman for details.
5) You always have options. When you know how tomeet women anytime you want, then it doesn'tmatter what happens in a particular situation. Andif it doesn't matter, women can SENSE it. This isa VERY attractive quality.
You're on the right track...
***QUESTION***
David, I've been a huge fan for the past 2 yearsand just received your Advanced Series CD set aweek or so ago. HOLY COW!!! It's the best moneyI've EVER spent. I've gotten more phone numbers,been on more dates and HAD MORE SEX in the past7-8 days than I have in the past 6 months. We'retalking 180-degree shifts in my interactions withwomen...I'm at 100% success right now. To all theguys out there, attitude is EVERYTHING. KNOW thatyou can have any girl you want, let that reflectonto girls and they WILL smell your confidence.And, to women, that's very sexy!!! Now, onto myquestion... How do Cocky-Funny, self-validating,confident men deal with attention-getting commentsfrom women? For example, the other day I'm on thetelephone with one of the girls I met recently andshe was complaining about her hair style. Shesays, "A., I look SOOOOO ugly with this hair" (sheSTILL was an absolute knock out actually!!). Now,I thought to myself, What Would David Do in thissituation? Would he tell her, "Oh no sweetie, youlook gorgeous". I thought that seemed prettywussy, so I says to her, "Listen here, I didn'tcall you so I could listen to you complain...".Are cocky-funny remarks the right way to deal withthis type of female complaining? Is it just a testto see if we'll give in to their little games?KEEP IT UP DAVID!!! Ciao!
A, Indiana
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You are on the RIGHT TRACK here.
Next time a woman complains about herself ortries to get attention, just make it FAR worsethan she ever thought it could be.
If she says, "My hair makes me look soooougly", just reply, "You know, I wasn't going tosay anything, but... ...".
Remember, COCKY & FUNNY. It's the combination.
If you really want to be bold, just say, "Sowhat am I going to get paid for babysittingtonight?".
Or even better say, "Did this stuff work onyour dad? Why didn't he spank you more?".
I'm cracking myself up over here.
Nothing better than hitting the nail right onthe head, if you catch my meaning.
Again, you're on the right track.
Don't be a Wussy. But make sure you're funnywhile you're not being a Wussy.
"Listen here, I didn't call you so I could hearyou complain..." might do the trick, but it'sprobably a little over the "jerk" line...
...unless, of course, it's done with the righttone of voice that communicates sarcasm.
***QUESTION***
Dear Dave, Let me be the one to tell you thatyou deserve to sit on a solid gold throne for therest of your life with gorgeous female servantsfeeding you grapes and fanning you with giantfeathers. Your advanced series is definitely thebest investment I made in my life. After watchingit for the FIRST TIME, my whole perspective onwomen changed. I have so much to say, but I'lltry to keep it short: I've been having so muchfun coming up with cocky + funny comments, I hadto share some of my ideas with your readers. Hereare some of my favorite lines I use: If Ihappen to get a phone call while Im around a girlIve been talking to, Ill bring her up in theconversation w/ whoever called me, making someteasing comment about her loud enough for her tohear. She'll usually give me a face, or flip meoff...so then I say to my friend on the phone,"yea, she likes me." So simple, yet they eat itup! I'll tell girls who are walking behind meto stop following me because Im getting thatstalker vibe from them...and if they want to lookat my ass that bad, they can take a snapshot of itfor $4.99...as long as it's for their personalenjoyment and not to show off to their friends. Ialso like to put a price on my time or presence.For instance, I'll be talking to a girl for alittle bit, then I'll look down at my watch andsay, "Okay, I talked to you for two minutes, AND Ilet you shake my hand...that'll be twenty dollars,tip not included". Then I'll say that I reallyhave to get going, and demand their phone numberso I can "collect my money on a more convenientdate." I love this way of communication...itmakes girls attracted to you, and it's so muchmore fun than the normal boring stuff. Now, aquick question. First off, I loved your lastDating Tip...about Sexual Tension. One of yourbest emails. But I have a question about eyecontact...do you ever have to watch for when it'sappropriate? An example would be last week when Iwas in a club. I was standing, and I turned aroundto face a cute girl who I immediately locked eyeswith. She wasn't going anywhere, she was juststanding. But we were only abut a foot away fromeach other looking directly into each others eyes.I wasn't even going to try to talk to her, becauseit was too noisy. But I didn't want to just standthere, a foot away from her face, just staring,'cause I figured I would seem like a weirdo...so Ijust walked past her. What would you say to do insituations like this? Are there times when yourrule about eye contact (not looking away until shedoes) isn't appropriate? Is proximity to the girlyour eye-locked with an issue? Thanx againDave... you're the man. TG, Tacoma
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, another great question...
And more shameless advertising for my AdvancedSeries. What a great combination.
I digress...
Let's talk about eye contact, and what to doafter you've made it.
Here's the deal, there are a few things thatare DEAD GIVEAWAYS to a woman that you're a big-time Wussy, and not worth her time.
A few of them are:
1) Can't maintain eye contact
2) Has slumped, submissive posture
3) Fidgets nervously
4) Gives away his power
5) Looks for attention and approval from others
Of course, there are quite a few more examplesof LITTLE THINGS that women look for... to makeQUICK DECISIONS about what kind of man you are...and INSTANTLY know whether or not you are worthyof a second thought.
Now, as you've heard me say a million times,these "decisions" all happen on an SUBCONSCIOUSLEVEL. Women don't look at a man, then say to afriend, "Well, he maintained eye contact when Ifirst looked at him, then he held his head up highin a dominant posture... so I'm going to give hima chance".
DUH, no way.
It's an INSTANT FEELING that women get. Theyuse these little body language cues to instantlysize you up, then respond instantly.
Now, you're asking about a particular facet ofeye contact... specifically, when you're standingone foot away from her and it happens.
Your question leads me to believe that youthink things must be different if you're close toa woman... as if the rules should change if she'scloser than 4.35234 feet. If anything, it takesMORE composure and inner strength to look a womanin the eyes if she's standing a foot away.
In this case it's even MORE important to notlook away.
And what to say?
Try saying, "I just couldn't help noticingyou... [pause]... STARING at me..."
That's funny.
Or say, "Do you always maintain such strong eyecontact? Or only with guys like me that you can'thelp it with?"
Try anything. You're in the right place... Imean, you don't even have to expend the energy towalk over and start a conversation!
Even "Hi" is better than walking away.
Once you get over your remaining fear of theunknown, and you realize that you're in control ofyour life and your results, you'll begin torealize that situations like these are GREATopportunities.
...which reminds me of something.
I honestly believe that FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN isone of the biggest obstacles that guys face withwomen.
It may sound silly, but most guys who areafraid to approach women really don't know exactlyWHAT they're afraid of.
All they know is that they have an INSTANT fearcome up whenever they think of walking up to awoman they don't know and talking to her.
Of course, a "fear of the unknown" sounds likean easy thing to fix.
I mean, just realize that you don't even knowwhat you're afraid of, and it should go away,right?
Sounds good, but it's WRONG.
The fact is that this is a COMPLEX problem.
I've met guys who have gone to therapy forYEARS to get over fears... and it didn't work.
Now, I'm not a therapist or psychologist... butI do know one thing... I used to have this verysame fear. I know EXACTLY what it feels like.
But, the really weird part is that the thingthat helped me get over it wasn't anything that Iexpected.
What helped me get past it, and helped me tostart approaching women and getting emails andnumbers from women I didn't know, was simplyUNDERSTANDING what was going on... and thenKNOWING exactly what to do in each situation.
The PROBLEM that I had in the past was that Ijust didn't "GET IT" with women. I didn'tunderstand what made them feel ATTRACTION for oneguy while feeling NOTHING or even like RUNNINGAWAY from another guy.
Now that I do "get it", I have to say that it'spretty damn interesting. But it's not at all whatI would have expected. In fact, it took me acouple of YEARS of trying to figure it out toactually BEGIN to really understand how and whywomen feel that instant and magical ATTRACTIONresponse for some guys... while most guys go theirwhole lives without women even noticing them.
But, once I DID get it, everything changed.
In this Mailbag, quite a few guys wrote in whohave had the same experience this week with myAdvanced Series.
They all watched or listened to it, then had alight bulb come on in their heads.
You can hear it clearly.
Before they spent the 12+ hours going throughthe program they didn't "get it".
AFTER they went through the program they DIDget it.
A lot of guys write in to say that "It justclicked all of a sudden" or "I had a huge Ah-Ha!when I went through the program".
You'll also notice that most of the guys whomake these comments have read this newsletter forquite awhile as well.
What I'm trying to say is that my AdvancedSeries will totally change the way you see things,and it will totally change your results withwomen.
It's taken me literally YEARS to figure all ofthis stuff out, and I can honestly say that it'snothing like the other books and programs that areavailable.
As always, my "Try it free" offer stillstands...
It's simple...
Go order it. I'll send it to you to try at ZEROCOST. Really.
If you like it, keep it and you can pay inthree easy payments. If you don't, just send itback and you won't even be charged.
All the details are here, along with some greatfree audio and video samples:
Advanced Series
And if you'd like to get an introduction to mybest ideas and techniques, go and download myonline eBook right now. You can download it nowand be reading it within just a few minutes. Getit here:
Double Your Dating eBook
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. Take a minute and look at all of the differentprograms I've created to help you learn how tomeet women. You can check them all out here:
Double Your Dating Catalog P.P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story,Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphsmax.2) Tell me what's working for you before you askyour question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuffis great" and "I don't need to tell you how wellyour stuff works" comments, but the fact is that IDO need to hear all of the specifics... becausethis helps other guys to see what's working indifferent situations.3) If you have a Success Story, write "SuccessStory" in the subject line of the email. I readthese first.4) At the end of the email, give me your initialsand tell me where you're from.5) Send it to me at: SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com...don't just hit "reply" to this email.Thanks!--------------------------------------------------Copyright 2007 David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. DavidDeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks. Byreading and accepting this newsletter you agree toall of the following: You understand that this issimply a set of opinions (and not advice). This isto be used for entertainment, and not consideredas "professional advice". You are responsible forany use of the information in this email, and holdDavid DeAngelo Marketing Inc. and all members andaffiliates harmless in any claim or event. If youare under 18 years old, please click thelink at the end, and remove yourself, or to takeyourself off of our list, you can send mail to"DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th Floor LasVegas, NV 89169.--------------------------------------------------__________________________________________________If you are under 18 years old, please follow the link below and remove yourself, or you can send mail to "DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th Floor, Las Vegas, NV 89109.To safely remove your name and email address from our newsletter mailing list go to:

DONTS

This includes:
- Calling and seeing a woman too often
- Acting like a "boyfriend"
- "Courting" a woman actively
If you don't want a woman to get those"feelings", then don't call or see her more thanonce or twice a week.
Don't act like her boyfriend.
And don't "COURT" HER!
There's nothing wrong with going out with awoman a few times, then not wanting to see heragain.
The problems come when you ACT like you wantsomething MORE from a woman, and then she startsto see you in a different way and have FEELINGSfor you.
There's something called an "implied socialcontract".
This is when you do something in a way that"implies" something.
If you do things that imply that you want to beher boyfriend or husband (like calling and seeingher all the time, paying tons of attention to her,courting her, etc.) then you are IMPLYING that youwant her to have feelings for her. And she will.
Solve this problem before it happens. Don'timply.
***QUESTION***
Okay, gettin the brown nosin' otta the way first,I love the strategies in the E-Book! It not onlymakes you a better date for ladies (I just had agirl I went out with the other night say literally"you were a much better date than most guys I'vebeen out with... you're so much moreinteresting!") but it makes the date better forYOU as well! When I'm not worrying about "willshe like me" "what does she want me to do" and "amI doin' the right thing here?" and just kick backand go with the flow doing and saying what I feel- I have a much better time myself! Just a lil'something that isn't as pointed out as 'gettinglots of women.' I mean, I like going out with lotsof girls too, but I guess I'm just an oldfashioned guy who only wants to go out with lotsto find that one really AWESOME chick - so thesetechniques let me just enjoy a girl I'm with a lotmore because I don't have to act like I need her,I'm with her by choice, not restriction! Soanyways, my question is where exactly can you finda larger base of chicks to "try out." Like Isaid, I'm kinda old fashioned and not a bigbar/club scene guy, so most of the places I've metgirls lately have been everyday spots (one at Wal-mart, one at the bookstore...) but there justarn't as many easy opportunites to meet ladies inthese type places as at a flagrantly singlesscene. Sure occasionally you get a find, butthere has to be an untapped resource out there forus mellow guys. So you gotta let me know...isthere? Thanks again
- JLC from Florida
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, I personally believe that MOST guysactually want to find "a really awesome chick"eventually.
But the fact is that you're going to have todate a lot of women to find that one REALLYAMAZING one.
And I think that learning my techniques andusing them with the women you're dating PREPARESyou for that one special woman, once you find her.
So WHERE IS THE SECRET "AMAZING CHICK"PLAYGROUND?
Where can a "mellow" guy go to find the"untapped resource"?
I have a few ideas for you...
1) The internet
2) Social gatherings
3) Unexpected "regular" places
THE INTERNET
The internet is AMAZING for "mellow" guys.
Just think of it.
You can place a personal ad, watch how womenrespond to it, then tweak it up and watch how thechanges improve your response... and do it againand again.
It takes a little bit of work, but I can'tthink of a better return on a few hours'investment.
By the way, check out my Advanced DatingTechniques program for more tips on meeting womenonline. I do a whole segment on the topic, and Ialso interview one of my good friends whooriginally taught ME how to meet women online. Imet my last girlfriend online... and she was astunning 5'10" high-fashion model. My AdvancedSeries goes into all the details of how to do it.
The internet is just getting better and betterfor meeting women... try it.
SOCIAL GATHERINGS
It's not hard to make friends.
And if you make friends with the RIGHT people,you will be invited to all kinds of interestingsocial gatherings.
Now, certain social groups tend to attract morecute women than others.
I DON'T recommend the Star Trek convention, theComic Book convention, or the Chess convention asstarting points here - lol.
Get into art. Or try yoga. Or take an actingclass.
Meet people. Invite the people you meet toother events that they would be interested in.Become a networker. Be the SOURCE for greatinformation on a topic that beautiful women arealso interested in.
Again, this takes a little investment, but therewards are often AMAZING.
I can't express how well this works... so tryit.
UNEXPECTED "REGULAR" PLACES
OK, check this out:
There is a big "health food" market that'spretty close to my place.
I went there about two weekends ago.
I'd say that there was a total of about 20people that I saw during my visit.
AT LEAST 5 of them were HOT women.
I probably saw more beautiful women in that onestore in 10 minutes than I saw in the next 2 days.
There are quite a few "unexpected regularplaces" like this one that are hot women MAGNETS.
How do you find them?
YOU HAVE TO GO LOOK.
Go to your local mall at three different timesover the next week. Go in for 30 minutes each timeand just WALK AROUND.
Try Noon on a Monday, then try Saturday at 4PM, then try another weekday in the evening.
You'll notice that ONE of those times is a LOTbetter than the others.
Then try other places, and pay attention.
There's a busy shopping area near where I liveright now.
It's REALLY busy on Friday and Saturdayevenings.
During the weekdays at around noon it's aboutone FIFTH as busy as it is on a Friday or Saturdaynight.
But guess what?
Weekday afternoons, even though it's not asbusy, it's JAM PACKED with beautiful women.
They're everywhere.
But on Friday and Saturday nights there arehardly ANY great looking women, even though it'sFAR busier and there are FAR more people around.
Go figure.
My point:
YOU need to go find those places near you thatare the best... and you need to find the bestTIMES as well.
This will pay off BIG TIME. So do it.

is your marriage on the rocks ?

Let’s Take A Quick Quiz About Your MarriageAnswer the questions below to see where things are right now.
1) Do you find yourself frustrated with your marriage, trying to make changes, only to find you are right back into the same old pattern? Yes No
2) Do you or your spouse frequently think about getting out of the marriage? Yes No
3) Are you and your spouse frequently engaged in an argument, often about nothing of importance, and find that there are rarely solutions? Yes No
4) Are you convinced that this is relationship is not what God would want, but don’t know how to make a change for the better? Yes No
5) Do you find yourself arriving at the same conclusion: “We just can’t communicate”? Yes No
6) Do you find yourself shocked that you were ever attracted to someone so different? Or conversely, do you think the big problem is that you are just too much alike for it to work? Yes No
7) Do you frequently find yourself feeling either unloved or disrespected? Yes No
8) Do you wonder how or if this crazy cycle can ever be ended? Yes No
9) Would you love to find a solution to these problems that would move your relationship to a healthy, Godly place? Yes No

If you checked any “Yes” responses to the above questions, it is time to really look at what is going on in your relationship.

more

The lead up to the kiss can actually be the most difficult part of kissing. Figuring out whether your partner is ready to kiss you or not can be a challenge of its own.If you see one or a combination of these indicators, there is a good chance that your partner is thinking about kissing you.
eyes become soft

Head is tilted to the side,lip is being bitten or licked, andeyes are focused on partner and soft.These are all signs that a kiss might be on someone's mind.

noahw

and heavy
eye contact is made and sustained
head turns slightly
lips are licked or bitten
your partner makes physical contact with you beyond what seems appropriate for normal conversation (e.g. he or she brushes your hand, touches you on the shoulder or leg, or fidgets with an accessory)
easy conversation comes to a stop, but eye contact is not broken
your partner smiles in conjunction with any of the above behaviors To give your partner the cue that you wish to kiss him or her, you can try one or a combination of these things.
soften your gaze by relaxing the muscles around your eyes, somewhat like smiling but without engaging your mouth
smile often, though
make eye contact and allow it to linger for a few moments longer than you normally would
find ways to subtly (but respectfully) touch your partner If you think you are picking up some of these signs, but are still unsure if the person wants to be kissed then there is nothing wrong with just simply asking your partner if a kiss would be all right. Granted it breaks the mood a bit, and sensing the magic is always nicer than asking if it's there, but better to be sure your partner is on board for the kiss otherwise you might be heading for an embarrassing situation.If you've assessed the situation, and it seems probable that a kiss is imminent, the next things to think about are timing and approach. The key to nailing the pre kiss is matching your partner's speed and intensity. The kiss is the first opportunity to physically connect with your partner, and so you want to meet him or her halfway.Here are some steps you could follow as you go in for the kiss. Keep in mind that the kiss you share with someone is as unique as your relationship with that person, so follow your instincts and use the following as a rough guideline.1. Establish a physical connection by placing your hands on your partner's body. Placement depends on the dynamic between you, you can softly touch the face, the back of the neck or the shoulders. Be gentle with your touch if this is the first contact you are making. Stay away from "high risk" zones on your partners body, as you just want to indicate that you are interested in kissing them, not give them a full body search.2. Establish and maintain eye contact from this point on. The eyes are often a clear indicator if someone wants to be kissed, or is thinking about kissing you. Try to look at your partner with a deep, yet soft gaze. Use your eyes to send them a message that shows how you feel for your partner, e.g., "I care for you, I am on fire when I look at you, I want to kiss you." 3. As you lean in, you may want to tilt your body and head to accommodate your partner's positioning. One partner will have to make room for the other, or both partners can just slightly tilt heads in opposite directions. Basically you are just trying to avoid a nose collision as you get closer, so just pick a side to turn to and don't give it too much thought.4. Gauge how quickly your partner is leaning in and try to meet at the halfway point between you, so neither person is overextended. Over/under extension can make one person feel like they are not getting met and are either too aggressive, or not engaged enough.If you have come this far with your partner chances are you are going to kiss, or you have misread the entire situation and they are just leaning in to look at something stuck in your teeth. If the first is true, then read on because it's time to pucker up and get on with THE KISS.

"Head is tilted to the side,\nlip is being bitten or licked, and\neyes are focused on partner and soft.\n\nThese are all signs that a kiss might be on someone's mind." }

Head is tilted to the side,lip is being bitten or licked, andeyes are focused on partner and soft.These are all signs that a kiss might be on someone's mind.

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